the mellowing of a monster (new year's eve)

new year's eve used to be a bigger deal... at least to me personally. i used to always hype it up as this night that i had to go out and party hard... harder than most other partying i would usually do. i always got caught up in the hype and i used to always look for a reason (or maybe 'excuse' would be a better word) to booze it up and have a good time. some years i was very successful in achieving this goal. other years, i may have tried a little too hard and fallen short and had less fun than i would've liked to have.

now i'm 33 and it's december 30th and i just don't seem to care as much as i used to. there's a part of me that wants to do some sort of socializing... but it feels awfully obligatory. like, i only wanna party cuz i know that's what a lot of other people i know will be doing. but if we all decided to stay home and watch, 'the honeymooners,' i'd probably be fine with that. 

i no longer feel the need for december 31st to be the biggest party night of the year. i look back on 2012, and i realize i've had some awesome times. i figure i have no chance of topping many of those nights just because this is supposed to be the night we bring in a new year.

and there's been better reasons to have a good time. there's been weddings and friend's birthdays and great concerts. i've traveled and partied in other cities. i've gone to bbq's in awesome summer weather that make me wonder why anyone would want to bundle up and stand outside in times square all night. 

putting that all in perspective, it's hard for me not to find new year's eve to be overrated. will i still end up doing something? most likely. will i be depressed if i end up staying in? no. i've had a pretty awesome (and at times, challenging) year to reflect on. 2012 is going to end very soon and there's not much more i can squeeze into this year that's gonna change the results. 

i'm not a total humbug about it either. i still hold out hope that new year's eve will be a fun night but it's sorta like the volume's been turned down. it used to be loud and impossible to ignore. now it's played at a reasonable level and i don't see a reason to turn it up much louder than it already is cuz nowadays i like music at a conversational level anyways. 

congratulations avery johnson

avery johnson, now former coach of the brooklyn nets, was fired today. i usually feel bad when i hear about someone getting fired from any job. that sucks. there goes so-and-so's livelihood. i start to wonder how much more challenging their life will be now that they don't have the security of a steady pay schedule to get them by. but avery johnson, like any other nba, nfl, nhl, or mlb coach, was fired from a job that paid in millions. if he's not a total moron (i'm almost certain he's not), he's gonna be alright.

being a working schmo myself, i find that there's a certain kind of liberation in being fired. it's even liberating to just think about it happening. all of the sudden i'm consumed by this idea that now that i have all the free time i need, i can really start living. but those all so intoxicating feelings of liberation usually go away the moment i think about rent, food, bills, and the countless other aspects of my life that cost money.

but coaches in pro sports have it different. most of them have the security of millions of dollars in the bank. i almost have a hard time seeing the punishment in being fired at that point. it's a stressful job. you're always getting shit from your bosses and the fans and the media and the entire internet. the hours are long. the travel sucks. you never see your family or friends. in the nba, the coaches even have to adhere to a semi-strict dress code. what a bummer. wanna really punish a coach? make them finish the season coaching a losing team. if you find yourself coaching a losing team mid season, i have reason to believe being fired and taking some of that money you have saved up to go get away somewhere is a lot more welcoming than the idea of a road trip to detroit to play the pistons.

and beyond that, most ex-coaches find many options for soft landing. there's a ridiculous amount of broadcasting jobs thrown at ex-coaches. they can get paid to be speakers or teachers. most of them are able to take a year off and go coach again. they have it made. i'm pretty much beyond convincing that there's anything bad at all about being fired as a coach of a pro sports team. what a luxury it must be to be bad at your job on a national stage and still end up living a great life filled with opportunity and money.

so to coach avery johnson, i say, congratulations! now go get lost. there's a warm beach with fruity drinks with umbrellas in them calling your name. who needs the nba anyways?

armageddon inc.

12/21/12 has come and gone. it was supposed to be the big day that, supposedly foretold to us by the mayans, everything we knew came to an end.... armageddon if you will. and as the days drew closer, it became more and more evident that no one actually believed this was gonna be the end. so how did the whole thing become so mainstream and so well known?

armageddon is big business. the great thing about prophecies of the end of the world is that you don't have to be a believer to enjoy them. i'm not sure how this all got started, but i'm willing to bet that in the beginning, someone made a dollar off of it. there were documentaries and books galore. the history channel damn near turned into the 12/21/12 channel.

and who doesn't love talking about the end of the world? though i don't think anyone i ever talked to fully believed in it, i did know a lot of people who loved to talk about it. oh the possibilities! will we be hit by a meteor? will it be some sorta rogue planet coming out of nowhere and fucking up our orbit? maybe it'll be nuclear war or some out of control, global earthquake. people don't need to believe in this sorta stuff to talk about it. there's something endearing in conversing about impending doom that is totally out of our hands.

i'm sure a lot of people had a lot of fun with it. i'm damn certain a lot of people made a lot of money off of it. and i'm pretty sure anyone who did make money off of it are in their labs right now scheming on the next prophesied armageddon. and when they come back trying to sell us books, movies, and merchandise, will we hold them to their past failures? of course not. we'll be here waiting.... ready and willing to indulge ourselves in the next wild wave of apocalypse frenzy. cuz what it all really comes down to is that there's something sexy about impending doom and we just can't get enough of it.

somewhere between tragedy and gratitude

so my blog output's been a bit slow lately. and i'm not exactly sure why.... feels like it started in november. just stopped thinking about enough stuff to ramble on about. got lazy. then december came along and i've been trying to go out more and have fun cuz this is my birthday month (i just turned 33 this past sunday, the 16th) and i should just say, "fuck it," and make the whole month a celebration of sorts. i don't know if that makes me vain. i just like finding reasons to celebrate so i'm usually easily convinced into going out and doing social type activities (especially things that involve live music and dive bars). i never meant to sacrifice my writing output for the sake of this plan... it just sorta played out that way.

and then the awful tragedy in newtown, connecticut happened. and that was a fucking colossal bummer... maybe one of the biggest bummers ever (i feel like the word 'bummer' downplays it and i apologize. not my intent. it's all i got right now). i found myself distraught, disgusted, and saddened. i know it's been discussed over and over and i'm certainly not the first to say this... but what kinda sick fuck shoots a bunch of little kids? ugh. i'm still horribly disturbed. i mean, what can you say? that's how i felt about it anyways. there's nothing i can say or write or communicate that's gonna bring those kids back. and if there's nothing i can do that can accomplish that, i'm just gonna shut up and be sad about it.

even if i had some grand idea of what to say about it, i wouldn't have wanted to add to the nonstop assault of everyone else around me talking, writing, and communicating about it. it's everywhere. and it should be. but it seems like every possible opinion's already been communicated. i've got nothing to add to this convo. all i know for certain is that it's some sad shit. all i know is that as human beings, we should all be saddened and disgusted that something like this is even fathomable. something's wrong... and i don't know what it is. wish i did. i' m pretty sure humanity's just fucked.

and that's how i felt on friday. how fucked are we as a society that this is even possible? aren't we all somewhat responsible for our surroundings? don't we all have a say in how shit goes down? seems like a lot more people think that now than they did before it happened. cuz everyone's got their own idea of how to fix this shit. all i know is, i hope the good ideas overcome the bad ideas and i really can't tell you which is which. i'm simple minded.... i think everyone should just stop being a douchebag and everything would fix itself. ha. me and my idealism.

so then the weekend happens. and it's my birthday weekend and i wanna have fun. and i can't help but feel a little selfish saying that out loud... but it's the truth. i still wanna celebrate. i don't wanna let this turn into something where i totally give up on everything and say, "no more fun. we don't deserve it." and maybe we don't. but i'm still gonna try. so i partied a lot this weekend. and i had a lot of fun. and i hung out with a lot of great people. for three nights people kept me drinking, smiling, laughing, singing, dancing, being goofy, and most importantly grateful. i have so much gratitude for the people i hold near and dear in my life.

so i'm stuck somewhere between tragedy and gratitude. and the doomsday sayers are saying the big day is this friday, 12/21/12. and maybe it will all end then. and maybe we have it coming to us. i'm pretty sure it's a bunch of sensational hogwash... but if it all does end... maybe me and the people who i think are awesome can have some kinda access to a bunker. and after the shit goes down and the dust settles, maybe we'll have a chance to repopulate society and start again. and maybe, just maybe we'll all learn to live and abide by the 'don't be a douchebag' rule.

that's a stretch. gonna do my best by trying not to be a douchebag. won't you do the same?

a failed bus adventure (could've, should've, didn't)

on a bus ride home last night, at about 12:30am, i was approaching my stop. i was about three stops away actually. there weren't too many people on the bus... maybe six or seven at most... i was blissfully removed from the bus atmosphere around me by my headphones. three stops before mine, a dude sitting diagonal from me goes to get up and leave. as he's leaving he drops his cell phone. it makes a THUD sound as it hits the floor. i heard it through the music blasting.

the dude stands up and briefly looks around as if he knew the THUD was caused by him but doesn't know exactly how. after his brief evaluation, he decides to make a move for the door and leave the bus. it was at this moment that i lunged for the phone on the floor underneath his seat. my intention was to grab the phone and give it to him. with my music still blasting, i blurt out, "YO! YO! YO!" (not my most brilliant or eloquent attempt at putting words together but i had a few drinks in me and it all made sense at the moment). as i'm reaching for the phone, the dude who was sitting directly behind him takes his foot and steps on the phone and brings it towards himself. i give up on my attempt at grabbing the phone. i figured with me screaming "YO! YO! YO!" the dude would turn around before exiting the bus and grab his phone from the dude who was sitting behind him.

things didn't play out how i thought they were gonna. the dude left the bus and this all happened a lot quicker than it's taken me to describe it. he's gone and the dude who was behind him is now looking at the phone. i still have my music blasting. i turn it down and turn towards the dude with the phone and say, "hey man, do the right thing and give that to the driver."

he says, "ok."

then he puts it in his pocket and gets off at the next stop (which is one more stop before mine). i was pissed. i didn't know what to do. it all happened so quick. i had made a play for the phone to do the right thing and get it back to the dude and failed. i gave up cuz i assumed the dude behind him was of the same mind to do the right thing. but he wasn't and i felt sorta shitty about the whole thing. like if i tried harder i know i could've grabbed the phone. but i backed up instantly not thinking this other dude was out to steal a phone. if i would've gotten the phone i would've ran after the dude and gave it to him. i was only seven blocks from my apartment.

for all i know, the dude who took the phone will call the rightful owner and give it back. but i doubt it. and maybe the dude who dropped it in the first place is dumb or drunk or in some way sorta guilty of not looking after his personal belongings. and maybe i should just mind my own business and let things play out how they will. all i know is i felt crappy about it. i got off at my stop and looked back down the avenue as if i'd somehow see the dude who took the phone or the dude who it belonged to. as if i'd have the words or solution after it was already too late.

i guess the lesson here is that i should've followed through on my first instinct to grab that phone. if i would've done that, i would've been able to seal the deal myself and know that the phone was returned to its rightful owner. i could've, in my own stupid, insignificant way, played the role of a minor superhero. but instead i let some douche step on the phone and keep it for himself.

the end.

kids think my tattoos are cool

when it comes to my tattoos, i usually get the most positive feedback from kids, which is kinda awesome. when some kid catches one of my pieces and says, "cool!" i feel awesome... like a saturday morning cartoon hero or something. what's cooler than being cool to kids? being cool in the eyes of adults is boring and overrated.

it's odd cuz i don't see myself as a kid person. i don't really wanna have any of my own. and beyond high fives and letting them beat the crap out of me, i don't know how to relate to them at all. my initial assumption when around children is that they'll hate me cuz i'm just not that into them... and last i heard they love attention and i hate giving attention so it's a total mismatch from the get go. so i guess there's something about a kid thinking anything about me at all as 'cool' as some sort of small victory in life.

and even though i find myself as sorta anti-kid.... i know it's the more youthful side of me that got tattoos and wants to get more. it's definitely not the grown up, boring side of me that's worried about a world that's constantly judging me. tattoos are me putting stuff on my skin that i think is awesome and not giving a shit what the world has to say about it. it's pretty empowering stuff. and no matter how much i change in life.... if i ever become a total curmudgeon and pessimistic basket case, i'll always be able to look at the tattoos and know that at one time i was semi-daring and had fun.

kids never go up to dudes in business suits and say, "whoa, cool suit." why? cuz business suits are lame. and yet we all keep wearing them for some reason even though this is something we could all easily agree on. every time a kid calls one of my tattoos cool, it almost makes me resent the unspoken agreements we all made in this growing up business to be lame and boring and as unfun as possible. i'm almost certain that if there's nothing a kid thinks is cool about you, that you're ultimately losing in life.

or maybe i'm just overdoing it in defending my right to be an immature jackass for what is probably all of my foreseeable future... either way, i'm happy.

just another pep talk to myself

one thing i know for certain, you shouldn't pass the blame or the gratitude that is due to yourself onto other people or things. whether things are going good or bad (or for most people, a mixture of both), there is no one else who can truly be held accountable for the direction of your life besides yourself. no matter your background or your environment, no matter which village your tribe came from, we've all been given the ability to see, reflect, and realize that most of where our lives bring us is up to us.

and that especially goes for invisible forces. gods, karma, the stars and the moon.... none of this should stop you from taking control of your own path. when you fuck up, you fucked up. no one else. there's no blame to be passed. the sooner you learn to take the blame for the things you've done wrong, the sooner you can learn and possibly better yourself and move on. and when you do good, when you're getting shit done, when you're smiling and enjoying the rewards of your effort... just know that's on you. you did that. you made that possible. take a little credit before you pass it off to someone else.

when touchdowns are scored, don't point your fingers to the sky. losers never blame god in the post game speech. winners should abide by the same rule. when it's your turn to give the acceptance speech, walk up to that mic, thank yourself and quickly leave the stage. that's not a lack of humility. it's humility in its most extreme form. being able to look at yourself and realize that you actually are capable of greatness takes a shitload of humility.

and when you lose, you lose. don't look around to point blame. you knew from the get go when you signed your name up to play that this might happen. you can't assume that just signing your name will get you through this on its own. you gotta earn what you get. there's no handouts. you get the same sand everyone else gets to build castles.

the voices in my head

sometimes the people around me just won't do the trick. sometimes i'll find myself in certain moods and the actual people around me... friends, family, acquaintances, strangers.... i'm beyond their assistance. anything they might say won't help me. i have to go away from the world around me. i have to seek advice, guidance, and companionship from somewhere else. it's at those times that i plug the earphones connected to my ipod into my ears and begin to search.

it's weird cuz music isn't listening to me. there's no chance that any song or album will really know what i'm going through. it's about as selfish a transaction as there can be. the song does its thing, communicates to me with no compromise and i in return just shut the fuck up and listen. and i think this is where music comes in handy for me. i have no say in this conversation. i'm forced to give in and listen and take it in and offer no feedback whatsoever.

outside of music, there's not one actual conversation in real life where i'm not eventually looking for my turn to talk. i have a flaw in the humility department. it's not that i think i'm better than anyone... but in real life i can only suffer another person's words towards me till i want to get my say in. at length, most conversations turn into contests. am i getting my point across? are you listening to me when i speak? maybe it's selfish or maybe this is how everyone operates. i have no idea. all i know is with music, this isn't an option.

and it's music. the meshing of instruments and singing or rapping or screaming is much more powerful than words standing naked on their own (personal opinion, to each their own on this one). there's something the right song at the right time can do that nothing else in existence can do. it's too powerful to be messed with. i'm in no position to fight it. i'm lost in the music and taken to a better place. and hopefully when the music's over, i find myself still in that better place, refreshed and ready to take on the world again.

so long fireman ed

this is fireman ed. fireman ed is most famous for being a jets fan. he's more famous for being a jets fan than a fireman and he has fireman in his name. he is a super fan of epic proportions... or was. recently, fireman ed decided he wasn't gonna play the role of fireman ed anymore. the announcement came after an embarrassing loss to the new england patriots on thanksgiving evening. he left the game early, took down his twitter account, and hung up his trademark jets fireman hat.

when i first heard about this, i didn't know many specifics. i just thought he was that embarrassed with the team that he was done with it. maybe he'd come back when the jets decided to show a little more effort. but it was more than that. apparently the super fan formerly known as fireman ed has a problem with fan culture, which naturally deteriorates and gets uglier when it's focused on a losing team that the rest of the nfl is laughing at.

fireman ed chose to rock a sanchez jersey this year. he was trying to show his support for the team's starting qb who finds himself in a qb controversy of sorts due to the signing of tim tebow during the offseason. whenever sanchez starts to suck, the fans start to chant, "TEBOW!" this is kinda standard fair for fans of a losing football team. but fans were starting to give fireman ed grief. people would tell him to take the jersey off or accuse him of being paid by the jets to wear a sanchez jersey. fireman ed denies these allegations (and i believe him).

all ed's ever been is a super fan of the team... such a super fan that it got him much attention over the years. he lead the, "J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS" chants at the stadium. they'd focus the camera on him and put him up on the big screen as the thousands of fans would follow along. i've seen this dude do pep rallies in times square when the jets were doing good in the playoffs. he put his all into being a jets fan and in return he became one of the more famous sports fans in america... maybe even in the world (i'm not sure... i'm not all up on my worldly sports).

so for ed to suddenly admit that fan culture sucks kinda sucks for me and everybody else. cuz i've been to jets games and i've seen the fans. and a lot of them seem alright... but a lot of them aren't. i've seen fights and screaming matches... i've even been in a screaming match or two and been a witness to a fight that almost broke out between people i was tailgating with and other tailgaters. and i'm talking about jets fans vs. jets fans. it happens... a lot. and it's sad. i can't imagine how many people make the decision to spend all that money on a ticket (nfl games are expensive, no way around it), look at the ticket and think, "oh, this is gonna be fun!" and then they get there and find themselves surrounded by crappy fans who curse, shout, and threaten each other. i'm not saying it happens all the time... but it happens, and it's a fucking bummer.

and if it does happen, and i've seen it, i gotta imagine fireman ed was on the receiving end of all sorts of rage from angry jets fans. he's wearing the target. and that sucks. but i hope things get better for fireman ed. i hope a lesson is learned here. ed says he'll still go to jets games, but he won't be fireman ed anymore. and i'm alright with that. i find the role of super fan a bit overrated anyways. no one should put their all into rooting for a sports team. that's just not the kinda thing you should hang your hat on at the end of the day. if all your life ever amounts to is that you made it as a fan of a team, there's something sorta sad about that. there's so much more to life than rooting for sports.

and that's the lesson. root for sports. enjoy sports. but ENJOY sports. the moment you find yourself becoming angry, tense, frustrated, sad, depressed or whatever over professional sports is the moment you should step back and reevaluate your thought process. there's no sports team or sports outcome worth beating yourself up over. that's not you on the field. you put no effort in and you receive no reimbursement or acknowledgement for a job well done.

as for all the shitty fans, if you're not gonna have a good time, don't go to the game. you're ruining it for everyone else. your shitty ways retired a well known super fan who hopefully will reinvest some of that effort he put into being a fan into other things that will cultivate more positive results.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, it's only a game. once it's over, move on with YOUR life. and stop letting sports influence you to be a shitty person.

me and 'are you experienced?'

this is for jimi hendrix. this story is more about me but it has something to do with him... sorta. happy 70th.

i was 15. me and some friends met up to hang out. we didn't have much going on... no definite plans. just figured we'd meet up and see what happens. that was sorta what we did when i was 15 years old. our friend auggie shows up and he has a ton of money. where this money came from is a little uncertain and fuzzy, but for a bunch of jobless teenagers, he was loaded.

as we're talking about what to do, auggie mentions how he wants to go to a music store the next town over. at the time, that seemed like an insane distance. none of us drove. we'd have to walk it. there were about five of us there and eventually figuring we had nothing else going on, we unanimously decided to take the walk. it was cool. we bs'd along the way about life and whatever else stupid teenagers talked about in the early 90's.

when we got to the music store (i shit you not, i can't remember the name of the place and i couldn't even tell you where it used to be exactly. i remember the town and a long walk to get there. that's about it) and when we got there we hit it like ravages. this was our toy store. there were cd's and cassettes everywhere... posters on the wall. all this place needed was a bong section and we would have never left. we all spent time browsing through cd's that most of us couldn't afford.

i was in the hendrix section looking at a copy of, 'are you experienced?' auggie comes over to me and says, "do you want that cd?"

i reply, "yea, but i can't afford it."

"don't worry dude. i'll get it for you."

he made my day, week, and probably month (and maybe even more now that i'm rereading what i just wrote). i was 15 and only just beginning to explore the wonders of rock music. i didn't own any hendrix up to this point. all i really knew were the hits and that any respectable cd collection should have a hendrix album among it.

and that was mostly all i remember. i don't know a whole ton of specifics about that day. i do know that when i got home, i listened to, 'are you experienced?' over and over and over and over. i've always had a tendency to buy an album and dig into it by playing it everyday for months on end. to this day i still have a solid 4-5 albums that i'm constantly listening to. every now and then one phases out and a new one takes its place and that's kinda how i've always digested music. and if an album did make my heavy rotation, that was as good a review as i could give it. i have no fancy words to describe great music. all i can tell you is that i played the absolute rock loving fuck out of, 'are you experienced?'

i'll never forget that day, even if some of the specifics seem foggy. that's the day i officially became a true hendrix fan. i eventually would score much more of his music and dig into it all. i was rocking to hendrix through the grunge years. the whole thing seems odd in hindsight. i mean, i was into grunge and what was going on... but i was also on a classic rock kick of sorts. and hendrix was sorta a gateway into all of that... but hendrix is so much more than a gateway. dude was just a creative force not to be fucked with. he was uncompromising. he wasn't cheesy. he was real and out there and all sorts of talented. no matter what level you find yourself on, you can't really say a bad word about jimi hendrix's music. it's got something for everybody.

and it's fun to look back and see what we did for music back then. we were young and bored and had all sorts of free time. we went on adventures to score music an album at a time. being a fan of music took a lot more commitment. don't get me wrong, i enjoy the convenience of modern times when it comes to music... but i'll always remember it took an awesome mini-adventure to grab my first jimi hendrix album.

special thanks goes out to auggie and jimi hendrix. without you, this blog post and the events that happened within would not have been possible.

the q104.3 coutdown and why classic rock fans rule

the local nyc area classic rock station, q104.3, has been doing one of its 'top 1043 songs of all time,' countdown. i have been tuning in and out to it all weekend long. it's pretty cool. i think it's kinda an epic concept to throw the top 1043 songs of all time together. sure, it all probably ends with, 'stairway to heaven,' but i don't think the fun's in finding out which song made #1. the fun's in getting there.

i think it speaks highly of people who tune into a classic rock radio station. q104.3 does this sorta thing year after year and people are obviously tuning in cuz it's still on the air. it still works. it's fun to tune in and catch what you can of it. although it's all "rock music," the mix and mesh of genres and eras is kinda mind blowing. the one guarantee about a list so broad is that you're guaranteed to hear a song you won't like eventually. and yet people aren't tuning out because of it. people who listen to classic rock radio seem to have heart and commitment. 

this is a feat younger rock fans can't handle. (by younger, i'm talking about fans of a pretty broad range of rock music from the 90's - present). we don't wanna sit around and wait for a song we don't like so much to finish. that's enough to tune us out completely. and maybe i don't know what i'm talking about... but i do know this, younger rock fans in the new york city area are not awesome enough fans to support the livelihood of a rock station that caters to newer rock music. it's not like no one's tried. just look at 101.9, a station that was a "newer" rock station two times over and failed both times... just recently turning into wfan, a sports talk radio station. the proof's in the pudding. we have failed as rock fans.

i'm not sure what to blame it on. maybe we could blame it on the ability to steal music or make our own playlists without much effort. maybe our attention spans suck. maybe we think fm radio is a thing of the past and we've come to terms with it. but we've lost something intangible as a result.

right now classic rock fans are geeking out and having a good time. the countdown's just now approaching the top 10 classic rock songs of all time. and i think it's awesome. and something awesome like that can only exist as a result of the awesome fans who tune in to keep it alive. 

hats off to the classic rock fans of the new york city area. you fucking rock.

my anti-turkey thanksgiving blog post

tomorrow is thanksgiving, a day where most of us will sit around and eat a bunch of awesome food. it may just be the greatest meal of the year for many people. of all the thanksgiving food choices, it seems that turkey is the most popular. kids draw turkeys in school. a turkey gets pardoned by the president. some people even refer to thanksgiving as, 'turkey day.' i would like to take this opportunity to come out and say that i think turkey is overrated.

when it comes to eating on thanksgiving, turkey is the last thing on my mind. it's usually the last thing i pile onto my plate. when i do go for the turkey, it's only out of some odd sense of obligation cuz it just seems like the thanksgiving thing to do. but let's face it, thanksgiving dinner is all about the sides. corn, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, biscuits, and on and on and on. and let's not forget about the pies that come after the meal. who can think about turkey at a time like this? it's only useful purpose at this point is being the thing the stuffing gets cooked in. other than that, turkey's just taking up precious space that i should be dedicating to biscuit number two.

i'm sure it's all very historical and that turkey was served at the first thanksgiving or the early ones or whatever. but times have changed. they probably went with turkey as a result of a lack of options. i'm sure if they had the variety of choices back then that we have today, they'd never go with the turkey. it'd be the last thing they'd kill and consume. but those were hungrier times and food was way more scarce. it was eat what you could get and that's it.

i'm pretty sure no one enjoys turkey. if anyone does enjoy turkey, i never hear them talk about it. and i find myself in a ton of food discussions on a daily basis. most people love some type of food and are willing to talk about their favorite food without any arm twisting whatsoever.and i NEVER hear anyone mention turkey. EVER. the only gossip i ever do hear about turkey is how long it takes to prepare and how eating it makes you sleepy. what's lamer than that combo?

anyways, a happy thanksgiving to you, the people who read my blog. whether you enjoy turkey or don't, you are the greatest of all human beings in existence and on this day of thanks, i am ever so grateful for all three of you.

twinkie outrage

i've recently seen and heard a lot of outrage directed towards hostess announcing that they were closing up shop and going out of business. suddenly, everywhere i turned, whether it was on tv, the internet, or in good ol' real life, people were surprised, angered, or saddened by this news. people were gonna miss their favorite snack cake and it wasn't fair damn it. what kind of a cruel world do we live in that doesn't ensure that tomorrow comes with a guarantee of more twinkies?

all the hoopla and noise is such a waste. there's so much more fucked up shit going on in the world. there's real issues to get angry about. i don't wanna see cupcakes taking up precious media time when there's wars, poverty, and all sorts of messed up shit going down around us. 

if you're gonna be outraged towards hostess, you're not even outraged for the right reasons. you should be outraged that as a company, hostess couldn't get their shit together and resolve their issues with their workers to make things come together. you should be outraged that thousands of people will be out of work as a result.

so while some people will be busy lamenting over the death of snoballs, thousands of hard working people will be lamenting over their bills and trying to find employment at a time when finding employment doesn't come easy. boo-fucking-hoo that some people might not be able to consume their beloved ho ho's for the rest of their days. that's not a real problem unless you're a total brat (in which case the real problem is you being a total brat. stop that).

if i take any solace at all from any of this madness, it's that a group of workers proved that when you stand united, you can fuck shit up. it sucks that thousands of people will be out of work but they stood together in solidarity for what they believed in and a company collapsed because of it. 

my well slept lifestyle

i just woke up from a nap. it's friday, 9:19pm. i got in from work at about 7pm and wasn't sure what to do with my night or how to begin my weekend. as a dude with no plans, i took a minute to ponder things while laying down on my bed. next thing i knew, i knocked out and now here i am typing this up.

i don't know how people who are sleep deprived do it. it seems to be a popular thing though. i hear a lot of people talk about not sleeping well or never getting a full night's sleep and i can't imagine living life like that. sure, i have my sleep deprived night here or there, but sooner or later i have to play a game of catch up which usually turns into a sleep marathon somewhere within the next three days of my life.

and i don't understand how people suffer from insomnia. i know that they do and that sucks and if i could, i'd type up a magic spell to make it go away. i can't imagine what it's like to put my head to pillow and not fall asleep sometime soon. when i'm tired, my body and my mind never fail me. they always do the right thing and shut this whole process down. sometimes i find myself able to go to sleep even if i'm not tired but it just seems like the logical thing to do.

and the odd thing is, i'm not an overly tired person. it's not as if the clock hits a certain time and suddenly my body goes into shutdown mode. i like being up late. i like being out and about at night. i like catching last call at bars and hitting a diner after. i enjoy staying up late and catching up with tv, movies, reading, the internet, and so on. most days, i'd assess myself as a pretty energetic person. maybe it's cuz i sleep so well.

i guess the trade off for my well slept life is that i'm not a morning person. but who is? i think people who actually like the mornings might be more the exception than the rule. or maybe i'm just crazy. maybe i should be sacrificing some of this daily dose of good night's sleep to wake up and smell the early morning roses. but i won't. early morning might as well be 12 noon to me. all hours before that seem like part of the warm up for a day that hasn't really begun yet.

parents vs. non-parents

parenting's not for everyone. some people aren't fit to be parents. some people just don't wanna be parents. but then there's other people that are parents, some of them great, some of them average, others doing a down right awful job of it. to each their own i say. i'm not here to declare which lifestyle is better. you wanna be a parent? you like parenting? awesome! children scare you and you don't want anything to do with them? equally awesome!

but the one thing i find hard to deny is which side is more jealous of the other. for the most part, people who aren't parents are that way by choice (MOST part... i understand there are unfortunate exceptions that prohibit some willing parental hopefuls from participating in the great act of procreation). whether you think you might suck at it, whether you hate children, or maybe you love the fuck out of your freedom... whatever it may be, there's a reason, and in the mind of a non-parent a damn good one, for not procreating.

and when the non-parent types see the parent types out and about with their children or posting pics on facebook or making youtube videos of benchmarks in their children's life... i don't think there's much jealousy. sure, maybe they kick around the idea of, "i'd like to be around for a child's first steps or high school graduation." but then the non-parent usually thinks about the other bunch of years that surround those special moments and figures something like, "eh, not worth it."

and i know what some or most parents are thinking at this point. the non-parents don't know what they're missing. they don't know how special and nice and precious and fulfilling the whole raising children experience can be. and you're right, i suppose. i wouldn't know for sure cuz i'm not a parent so i'll just have to take your word for it. non-parents have no idea how awesome or special or delightful having children could be. it's just one of those things that makes this comparison unfair.

parents know all about being a non-parent. they've been there. they've tasted it. they know what's good and bad about it. they know how their life has become better and at the same time become worse. sure, it's fulfilling. but doesn't it bother you just a little to know there's people your age who have no children so they just do what they want, when they want? if they want to sleep for ten hours, they do it. if they want to drink, dance, riot, or hole themselves up in their living room and watch copious amounts of whatever you're favorite tv show may be, they can do it without it affecting anybody but them.

it all comes down to what you live your life for. once you go parent, you can never go back. you will forever be responsible for someone else's life. and that's serious. a non-parent can say, "fuck it all," and decide to never live or breathe a serious moment again. it may not be a great way to live, but that's a freedom parents don't have.

parents should be proud though. i'm not trying to shit on you. what you do is honorable. you're the reason for life. my mom's a parent and she rules. so trust me, i dig parents. there's a lot of sacrifice but with sacrifice comes honor. the thing about non-parenting is that it's the easy way out. anyone can do it. and in many cases,  we're probably better off cuz some people choose not to have children. raising the future isn't for everyone. some people are gonna fuck that up. some people already are. there's some parents who probably shouldn't  be parents in the first place.

but if you're a parent and you read my blog, i'm certain you're one of the good ones. so keep it up! i hope the best for you and your little one(s). and to all you non-parents out there, anyone up for a party on a weeknight???

no utopia

there is no utopia. there'll never be a perfect civilization. there's no point where human beings will evolve and finally all will be well all the time. shit just don't work like that. no matter how far we go, there will always be mishaps and misunderstandings. there will always be emotions that we can't control that will drive us to do things that will put a wedge into society... no matter how little or how large that action may be... everything has some sort of ripple effect.

this doesn't mean we shouldn't aspire to be better people. i think we should all do the best we can. but no matter how much we tell ourselves we're gonna do that, we'll never meet the expectations of someone else somewhere who'll say we're not doing good enough. we're all disappointing somebody and someone is always disappointing us.

all we can do is keep putting one foot forward in front of the other. keep walking. never quitting. keep trying to make this next step count for something. if this step can count for something, then maybe the step after that can count for something even better and more important. this is it. this is all we can do. take that next step. if you fucked up somewhere along the line in the past (spoiler alert: you did), you gotta leave that shit there. even if it fucked up a whole lot of stuff and a ton of people are gonna hate your guts forever. i'm not justifying actions that have negative consequences. it sucks. but it happens. it'll always happen. it'll just keep on happening.

everyone needs to concentrate on their own path. do the best they can. make no excuses for our fuck ups. leave them in the past but learn the lesson and move forward. that's all we can ever do. carry the scars and the abuse (there will be scars and abuse but you already knew that) and carry it with you for fuel. take every fucked up thing this world throws your way and devour it. fuck you world. not today. i'm taking this next step and it's gonna mean something.

josh and the fat man

it was sunday evening. me and andrew were waiting for our flight out to portland, oregon. i had heard all day about the upcoming hurricane. how sandy was gonna have her way with the area. two of our other friends already flew out to portland earlier in the day. all day, i couldn't stop myself from thinking, "shit's gonna get fucked up. weather's gonna get bad. they're gonna cancel our flight. we're not going to portland."

that didn't happen. we found ourselves at an airport bar. the people flying out of new york city inside of kennedy airport seemed to be the only group of people in the area that didn't worry much about hurricane sandy. we were all escaping. the skies were clear. the planes were lifting off. shit was running flawlessly. as me and andrew chowed down on overpriced airport pizza and drank fancy airport beer, i realized, holy shit, we're getting out of here. we're going to portland.

when our plane was boarding, i noticed an obese couple in the same waiting area. i jokingly said to andrew, "hope i don't end up sitting next to one of them." andrew chuckled and nothing more was thought about it. all i wanted to do was get on that plane and be 30,000 miles high. then, and only then, would i be fully sure that we were gonna make it to portland and i can stop worrying.

me and andrew weren't sitting next to each other on this flight. we were two of the last passengers to get tickets for it so we got split up. not too far, he was directly behind me. but as we were walking to our row, andrew turns to me and says, "dude, i think you're sitting next to that dude." he didn't need to point. i knew exactly who he was talking about. they had split the obese couple up and there he was, sitting on the aisle seat of my row. i counted the rows i had left to get there... counting them over and over and over hoping that math, numbers, and logic would change between now and the time i get to my row... that this wasn't true.

it was true. this guy was huge. his wide bottom took up one and a half seats. that half a seat was also half my seat. tremors of panic rushed through my body. what was i gonna do? i couldn't sit next to him for 6 hours. this wasn't gonna work. there just wasn't enough room for both of us. as i approached i said, "hey sorry man, umm, i'm sitting there." i pointed to the seat next to his that was half filled with the side of his body. he got up, i took my seat, and then he sat again. there i was, shoved into half a seat. there was an empty seat next to me but we were told that the flight was fully sold. i was certain that seat belonged to someone and i would not be fortunate enough to have two empty seats to myself for this flight (i was correct. she showed up about 3 minutes later).

after he sat down he turns to me and says, "i'm sorry. i tried to buy two seats. but they wouldn't let me. they said there weren't enough available, that i could only have one. maybe they can move you elsewhere."

i knew they couldn't. i knew the flight was fully sold. i politely said, "umm, it's okay man. whatever. we'll deal with this somehow."

for the record, i still have no idea how to deal with this situation. i was angry, angry cuz i already hate flying, cuz planes are already too small for my tall frame, that i'm never comfortable on planes as is... and now, now i'm shoved into half a seat cuz the dude next to me had to get on this flight. but i can't complain. how rude is that? what would i say? and what if they did nothing? what if the only fix was for me to get off and catch another flight? and if that was the case, i knew there'd be no other flight. i knew a hurricane was showing up tomorrow and would ruin any chance i had of going to portland. if i really wanted to end up in portland, oregon, like i had been planning for months to be, then i was gonna have to grin and bear the fuck out of this situation.

while i'm stewing, he asks if i'm a stand up comedian, to which i say, "oddly enough, i am."

then he says, "well this will be good material."

ugh. this guy is being so conversational, self deprecating, courteous, and friendly that it's making me angrier. but i'm not gonna do anything about it. i'm gonna swallow my anger. i'm gonna do my best to get through this.

as the plane starts to move, the captain makes an announcement. he tells us we're backed up and won't be taking off for an hour. that's one more hour of me next to this dude, me crammed into half an airplane seat. as we're waiting, he makes small talk. and i try to oblige the best i can. we hit the basics. what do you do for work? what are you going to portland for? what are your dietary habits and where do you see them getting you in five years? (okay, that last one didn't actually happen).

we eventually take off. flight staff wouldn't even make eye contact with me. it was like a game to me. i'd purposely stare them down as hard as possible every time they passed. they wouldn't even glance. they could barely make eye contact when they took our beverage order. and i ordered a beer and it was a great damn beer cuz i was in pain. i was dying inside. i wanted to cry. but i didn't. i sucked it up. i drank my beer. i watched tv (jetblue has complimentary tv). i did my best to focus on tv, beer, turbulence, whatever. anything to make the time go faster.

at one point, i needed to move my seat back. i hate moving my seat back on an airplane mostly cuz i hate when other people do it in front of me. but it was too much. i go to do it but the button i have to push is on the arm of the chair that i can't reach because it's still in its upright position because the dude's too big for it to be lowered. in a move of desperation, i turn to andrew who's right behind me and say, "dude, can you press that button so i can move back. i need to move my chair." i didn't wanna say it out loud but i had to. i mean fuck it, maximum awkwardness was reached before this plane even took off.

that's when my new fat buddy turns to me and says, "oh, my name's andrew too."

i move my seat back, "oh. hey, i'm josh." we shake hands.

i go back to the tv. and i watch and watch and try to ignore any indication of time, thinking it might go faster if i don't pay attention. about two hours into the flight i turn to andrew (the big one taking up half my seat who i will now warmly refer to as big andrew) and say, "hey, i need to use the bathroom."

big andrew says, "if i get up, i'm gonna knock this woman in front of me into next tuesday."

"dude, i have to pee. there's nothing i can do about it. it's gotta happen."

"okay." he gets up and doesn't knock the woman in front of him into next tuesday, although if he did have that ability i'd be the first in line cuz it sounds like a more comfortable form of transportation to portland at this point.

i get in the bathroom and i pee. and then i chill. i just take a minute to relax and enjoy the space. i try and hug the walls. i wash my hands thoroughly. i think about how nice it would be to finish the next four hours of this flight right here in the bathroom. and then i snap back into reality. as i leave the bathroom, i grab a flight attendant and say, "hey, can i get another beer?" she tells me she'll bring it to my seat in a couple minutes.

i go back to my chair and i'm feeling good. i'm thinking i can do this. i'm not gonna snap. i'm gonna be alright. attendant comes by and she hands me my beer. i enjoy it but try not to drink it too fast. this is the only comfort i have. i need to make it last.

and then not much else happens. i uncomfortably channel surf for four hours. big andrew adjusts his position every now and then reminding me of the predicament i was trying to forget i was in. i try to think about landing. i try to think about portland. i try to think about tomorrow and how i'll wake up in a bed in a hotel with enough space to stretch and be comfortable, how no matter how bad right now is, no one can take that moment away from me. i'll be okay.

before we landed, the attendant came around and told me the beers were on the house. $6 each. she didn't say why they were comped. but i knew why, the attendant knew why, and i'm pretty damn certain that big andrew knew why. i awkwardly thanked her and thought to myself how i should've drank more beer.

and then we landed. it was the most miserable flight of my life. and i'm almost positive it's the most physically uncomfortable i've ever been. but i did it. and the odd and sorta sad part is that big andrew was a nice dude. we'd banter back and forth every now and again during the flight. he's pretty much the nicest stranger i ever met on an airplane. we even had a few kind words when we got off the plane. "be good buddy." "you too."

but as nice as he was, i'm partially traumatized. on the day of the flight back to jersey, i couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of it happening again. seems almost impossible but yet entirely possible. for as long as i live, i hope i never have to share half my seat with half of another man again. and that's it. that's my tale. i'm not gonna wax poetic about how i could've handled it differently or ways to make sure this doesn't happen again. it happened. it's written. it's done.

rush limbaugh syndrome

rush limbaugh's reaction to president obama being reelected, to paraphrase, was him coming to the realization that he's outnumbered.

this isn't a pro-obama rant and it's definitely not an anti-obama rant. this is what's wrong with us as people. and i don't know if we should blame it on the system or on ourselves. i can't explain the cause but i see the problem.

guys like rush limbaugh surround themselves in an existence that is in total agreement with him. what he says is law. he's a king maker for a political party in america. he has enough support and enough people telling him how great he is to fully convince him that he can say, think, and do no wrong. and anyone who disagrees is disagreeing with him, his audience, his staff, his yes men, and his entire following that swoon on his every word. when everyone around you tells you you're right all the time, aren't you bound to start believing it yourself?

limbaugh's not alone in this. he's not the only person who suffers from this form of delusion. many personalities on both sides, whether it be tv, radio, blogs, books, whatever medium it may be, find themselves constantly being agreed with and told how right they are and how great it is that they're out there speaking the truth. how can one not help but become drunk with power?

people like rush tell you they're right. they suck you into their existence. soon you're also surrounded by people telling you how right rush limbaugh is. it's a cult of personality. some people are lost and just looking to be right about something. through rush they are vindicated. and anyone who would stand against their own personal vindication must be a fool.

we've allowed ourselves to become too divided. we've become too easily defined. this isn't a multiple choice exam... and if it was, we should be given more than two choices. we're either republican or democrat, liberal or conservative... all the way, one way or the other. and whoever's all the way the other way is all the way wrong.

rush limbaugh thinks he's outnumbered because he is. most people don't wanna be defined by something as simple and inflexible as a party line. most people are ready to admit when they're wrong about something. most people are willing to cooperate and play nice with others if the result is the greater good. there's always gonna be those certain polarizing topics that divide us down the line, but we don't need to be told that every single issue is a do or die sorta thing. we can compromise. we can all fight for the greater good by being willing to deal with each other on a more rational level.

election day fever

i get so bummed out on election day. it seems that suddenly people are filled with all sorts of political furor and it's suddenly socially acceptable to be passionate about politics... even to the point where people are saying, suggesting, telling, and sometimes yelling at others to, "GO FUCKING VOTE!" and it's not all of this which bums me out... it's that it seems like it's only cool to be like this on election day. most other days you get something along the lines of, "don't talk politics or religion... ever."

and i'm bummed about our system. we're in a two party gridlock. this is the best we got. and i assume we have one of the more top notch political systems of the world (i could be wrong... i don't really know the in's and out's of other political systems like i know ours). if we're not the best, we're supposed to be some sorta standard bearer for democracy in the world. and the best we can do is vote for people who let big money and special interests influence their behavior.

i get that, for the most part, there are no saints. everyone's guilty of fucking up somewhere along the line and the one thing you can be sure of is that everyone is due at least one more good fuck up sometime soon. so no matter what happens ever in all of history, we'll never elect the perfect candidate. but if we had more of a selection... i just think several options would help keep people more honest. if you look at third party options in america today, for the most part, they're considered a joke. if you bring it up, you're often told your vote is being wasted.

our own unwillingness to be involved has ruined politics. all those other options that aren't republican or democrat running for political offices are hard to hear through the million dollar commercials. and we're a lazy country for the most part. no one wants to learn all that much about politics. i wish i could say something like, "i don't think most people vote based on commercials,"  but that has to be the case. why else would there be so many damn commercials if it didn't work? and to me it seems like the most absurd, obscene, and idiotic way to choose a leader... but that's how shit gets done around here.

so everyone go vote. do what's right in your conscience in that booth. but when you wake up tomorrow, try to keep a little bit of that, "giving a fuck," that got you off the couch or out of your daily routine and pushed you into that voting booth. this is an all day, everyday sorta thing. the two major parties of this country are counting on you to not pay attention again till it's commercial time four years from now. they're counting on you to mock the third party options. they're counting on and even preying on your ignorance. and if that's not enough to at least push you to learn and do more during the offseason, then maybe voting's not for you after all.

watching sandy from 3000 miles away

i just got back from a week long trip to portland, oregon today. it was a trip i planned months ago and had been looking forward to all year. me and a few friends, we try and get away to a different city every halloween. the timing couldn't have been more odd this year. i remember leaving sunday night, the night before hurricane sandy hit the new jersey area. my last thoughts regarding the storm before taking off was me hoping that it wouldn't delay or cancel my flight (we had originally planned to fly out monday night but decided to try and move it up a day as the news about sandy got more severe).

to be honest, i didn't think it'd be much and i thought maybe the hype was blown out of proportion... or maybe i just hoped that. but when i first realized just how bad sandy was, it was just a fucking shocker. we had been out and about in portland and we hit the hotel room for a quick break in between things. we turned on the news only to see pictures and videos of our home area getting fucked up by a hurricane. one second i'm feeling a nice head buzz courtesy of portland... the next i'm looking at the area i call home getting kicked in the teeth.

i felt helpless and odd and worried. i wanted to get away and have a good time. but now i'm 3000 miles away from everything i know getting fucked up. while i'm fortunate to have been out of town during a hurricane, there's a part of me that wanted to be there. that's my home. if it's under siege, i want to see it first hand. we weren't cowards. we didn't run from this storm. but i felt just a little shitty every time a portland native said something to us once they found out we were from jersey, "oh, running from the storm?" or, "wow, you're lucky." i didn't feel lucky at all... not when anyone i give a shit about is currently fighting the storm.

i know jersey's tough and i don't wanna be too over dramatic about it. things eased up for me once i knew my friends and family were doing okay. a good time was had in portland. it's a great city and it does rain all the time but we were in no position to complain about rain. i'm back now and it all seems so odd.... people went back to work today. schools opened up. it's like things took a giant step back to somewhere closer to normal and i guess i'll never know what it was like when shit got real around here. but you were in my heart and on my mind jersey. no matter how far i get, this is home.

running free

monday through friday, i run on a treadmill. i do it during lunchtime at the gym downstairs from my office. i have free gym access and it's really convenient. running for lunch means one less thing i have to do when i get out of work. so when i get home, i don't have the task of a daily run staring me down. i used to do other things during lunch but now i wonder how i ever filled an hour of free time in between the work day so well. it's also nice that on most days, there's not too many people in the gym. for the most part, i like running and exercising alone.

however, the grind of running in place on a treadmill everyday can become a little monotonous. and when the weekend rolls around, i usually run in the park near my house... and it's awesome. i feel like an animal suddenly uncaged and back out into the wild. there's fresh air (well, as fresh as the fine state of new jersey can provide), people, and actual distance being made with each thrust of my legs. there's stuff to look at... trees, a lake, geese, ducks, dogs, and all other sorts of stuff that a gym at the office just can't provide. if i could only run one certain way, on a treadmill or outdoors, for the rest of my life, i'd choose outdoors by a landslide margin.

when i started running, i used to run outdoors a lot more. i'd run after work. but i didn't run as often. the wear and tear of the average work day would beat me into submission and so many days i'd decide to sit on my ass and run the next day. when i started running at lunch, i ran out of excuses. i had the time. there's really nothing better i could be doing with that time either. the gym's right downstairs.... it was easier to not give in to not running. so a new tradition was born. this may be one of my bigger phases of progression in my experiences with running. suddenly i was stringing 5, 6, sometimes 7 days of running in a row... something i'd hardly ever done before then.

so while running indoors on a treadmill seems like the lamer option of the two, it has its advantages and i totally believe it's made me a better, more consistent, and more dedicated runner. also, it's pretty awesome to plug in the headphones and blast music and find something productive to do with some of my work related aggression. if i'm having a bad day at work, it's usually a whole lot better once my lunch time run is over.

but there'll always be a lot more joy and anticipation for the outdoor runs. there's so much going on when i'm running outdoors. it feels more natural. i feel more in tune with myself and my surroundings. i usually run way longer distances on the weekend than i do during lunchtime at work so it makes it feel like more of an event. and with an outdoor run, you're never exactly sure what you're gonna get. the weather's always changing and i just keep running through it all, t-shirt and shorts in the summer, hoodie and hat in the winter.

it's fall right now and i'm convinced fall is the best season for runners. summer runs can be so grueling. a lot of times when i'm running in the 90 degree heat, i think to myself, "fall's coming soon enough. it won't always be like this." outdoor fall runs are probably the best runs of the year. so if there was ever a time to embrace running outside, off the treadmill and free, it's right now.

my mitt romney endorsement

this is it... my pre-election endorsement blog. and i endorse...... mitt romney!

why would i, a, 'leans so far to the left it sometimes looks like socialism,' kinda guy endorse a candidate like mitt romney? cuz america probably deserves mitt romney. apparently a large portion of the country doesn't remember the eight year donkey punching delivered to us by the george w. bush administration. him and his cronies fucked us senseless, threw us in a ditch, and ran away laughing. we probably deserve another go around just to refresh our memories.

when i see mitt romney, i see another george w. bush. scratch that, i see someone a lot worse than george w. bush. bush at least seems like the kinda dude that could sit down in a texas bar and talk some football over a coors light draft. mitt romney is a class a douchebag. if the election were a douchebag contest, this whole thing would've been wrapped up a long time ago. when it comes to douchebaggery, romney might be the undisputed champion of the world... and i like champions.

he hates women and doesn't want them to have any options when it comes to pregnancy. he's pro life and thinks everyone else should be too. cuz that's what freedom's all about... forcing your views on important matters down america's throat.

he thinks corporations are people which is great cuz corporate money is probably behind everything that is bad and wrong in this country. it's hard enough keeping the corporations out of politics (we're failing miserably at it) and keeping america from falling into a state of complete oligarchy.... mitt romney would come in on day one and offer an open door policy. bribes no longer needed to be slid under the table, in mitt's america, that's just the free market doing its thing. USA! USA! USA!

he probably thinks corporations are more human than gay people. i'd imagine him supporting a law allowing corporations to get married way before he ever supports gay marriage. who knows? maybe with a little luck he can bring us back to the days of 'don't ask, don't tell.' remember when homophobia was cool? mitt romney's bringing it back cuz he's old school like that.

he won't increase taxes on the rich cuz he's gotta watch out for his own kind and the people who pad his pockets. it's not people like me who show up at his $50,000 a plate, 47% of america bashing dinners. someone's gotta pay the piper. but hey, that's alright middle class americans. this is a sacrifice you should be willing to make. it'll pay off. trickle down economics always has, right?? (i wonder how 'joe the plumber' feels about all this).

president obama promised us hope and change. and then he found himself in the biggest recession since the great depression. and although he did things to make sure it didn't get worse, he didn't fix everything. you had four years? why isn't everything pristine and perfect? how much longer can we wait? we've been trying so hard not to pollute and go green.... but if it isn't gonna fix everything in four years, why should we continue doing this? obviously we're better off polluting the skies and destroying our resources. god's got our back anyways. it's all gonna be alright as long as we don't let the gays get married... we all know how much that angers the man upstairs.

so on election day, do the right thing. vote romney/ryan (don't forget paul ryan! he runs marathons which makes him way more qualified than sarah palin cuz he at least knows how to finish what he started).

i am a pro wrestling dork

i should've probably wrote this a long time ago.

i am a pro wrestling dork. i watch wwe events on television. i have for most of my life (except for that period of time when i first moved out from my mom's place and couldn't afford cable. then once i got cable, i had sorta forgotten about wrestling... but sure enough, with enough channel surfing on a bored monday night, there it was like it's always been. and it sucked me right back in).

so why write about this now? i just need to just get it out there. i'm not ashamed or embarrassed but i do realize that not a whole lot of people out there are watching wrestling (they're probably watching quality programming like, 'jersey shore,' honey boo boo,' or anything with a kardashian in it). pro wrestling doesn't exactly make for common water cooler talk at work the next day. plus, i can never escape the fact that it is pretty much dudes pretending to kick the shit out of each other in their underwear. and when you put it in that context, it sounds absolutely ridiculous.

and it is absolutely ridiculous. it's as ridiculous as comic books and reality television. in fact, it's almost a combo of the two.... if you combined them in this odd world of soap opera-esque bad acting. once you get past the idea that it's all staged, you're left with the story. and most of the time it's as simple as them telling you, "this is the good guy. you root for him. he fights the bad guy," classic good vs. evil type stuff. though as of late, they have done a decent job of blurring the lines a bit. i, like many wrestling fans in my age group, tend to gravitate towards rooting for bad guys (we wrestling dorks call them heels).

and ok, so the fights are staged and the decisions are predetermined. but what these dudes are doing is pretty real. there's injuries, a shitload of injuries. there's wear and tear and bumps, bruises and lacerations. they're touring all around the world all year round, wrestling doesn't have an off season. it's high pressure... performing your craft in front of thousands of people at a time and millions watching at home... knowing there's thousands of wrestling wannabes that wanna be you... and if you slip up and start to suck, they just might get the chance. so better make it look good in the squared circle (and yes, by 'it' i mean, better make two guys fighting in their underwear look good... good enough to make thousands of fans scream and holler. you try doing anything in your underwear in front of thousands of people).

i went to see monday night raw  last night, live at the izod center. and what i realized is there's a shitload of people who are fans like me. wrestling has it's own odd, not-so-mainstream audience. the fanaticism makes the atmosphere feel like an odd mix of sporting events and star trek conventions. there's posters and shirts and a crowd divided by who to root for. there's people dressed up like hulk hogan and the macho man randy savage... and those dudes came to throw on a show of their own (seriously, the two of them were in the middle of an aisle showboating and receiving a legit amount of cheers and chants from the fans around them).

before last night, i was all alone on mondays. just me and monday night raw on the tv, like it was some odd secret life i was leading. but no more. now i realize not only am i not alone, but  i have a common interest with a crowd of unique, fun loving maniacs. and if you don't get it, i get that you don't get it. it's not for everyone. we're all guilty of liking something that's not liked by others. pro wrestling happens to be my odd thing.

wrestlemania is coming around to metlife stadium (15 minutes away from me) in april. tickets go on sale november 10th. i fully intend to be at wrestlemania, with a poster in hand, screaming my head off and beholding one of the greatest spectacles there is to behold in the world of staged underwear fighting soap operas. and i can't fucking wait!

suck it yankee fans

yankee fans, you are the worst. you're spoiled and bratty. your team makes it to the playoffs every year and you still find something to complain about. you have more world series championships than any other team (by a long shot at that), which has obviously only added to your obscene sense of entitlement. this whole 'championship or bust,' philosophy is a crock and makes you unbearable to be around during baseball season, which last time i checked, lasts practically all year.

just recently your own team turned on you. ny media reported that anonymous players on the yankee squad were mad at the fans for booing them. can't you see yankee fans? you're so unbearable, not even your own team likes you. (not that i'm defending a professional athlete blaming fans for their poor performance. that's some cry baby bullshit. those fans paid good money to see millionaires hit baseballs. when the millionaires failed them, they had all the right in the world to boo them.)

i just can't see how anyone can feel good about rooting for the yankees. to paraphrase stand up comedian doug stanhope, rooting for the yankees is like rooting for the house at a blackjack table in a casino. you're rooting for the dealer cuz the cards are stacked against everyone else. the dealer and the yankees have one major thing in common, they'll always win more than anyone else.

if you're a yankee fan, i suppose you can be proud of all that winning. but doesn't it get boring to root for the team that's destined to always have more championships than everyone else? how do you find the passion to complain when things get tough? try rooting for another team... which millions of other fans do all the time. spend a season waving a pittsburgh pirate flag around... you'll run back in a year apologizing to a-rod for all the mean things you said about him.

when you look around and see the rest of the baseball universe grinning at your recent playoff collapse, you have to understand... for everyone else except for you, watching the yankees lose is like watching that one asshole boss of yours get slapped around in a boxing ring. and much like that asshole boss, the yankees are also out of touch. there's nothing cool or edgy about them. they're not even allowed to have facial hair.

in conclusion:

fuck the yankees,
fuck asshole yankee fans (some of you are cool, but you're the tiniest of minorities),
aaaaaaaaaaaaand motherfuck baseball in general. seriously. this is the most i've ever written about baseball, a sport i despise. i'm gonna go take a shower now cuz i feel dirty, awful, and full of shame.

a dude jumped from outer space

did you see that? this past sunday? a dude, no... not just a dude... felix baumgartner is his name, jumped to the earth from damn near outer space. it was fucking insane! and i if you're reading this blog, then i assume you're internet savvy enough to have already seen this or at least know about it. so i'm not gonna dedicate this time to bore you with the details.. .which is good, cuz then i'd have to do some research. and any fan (okay, maybe not fan, more like any passive observer) of my writing knows how much i don't like research.

i didn't even know this was happening till right before it happened. i've heard it in passing over the past few months but i never really focused in on it. i never really took a minute to think about what was really happening here. but there i was on sunday, facebooking through the abundance of commercials during the jets game and there were tons of updates about watching this space jump. i quickly rushed through my channel guide and saw it was being televised on the discovery network. i actually switched from the jets game (big leap for me) to watch it.

what i saw was something so inspiring, so crazy, so exhilarating, so fucking amazing... and probably dangerous. this dude took his little pod to the very edge of our atmosphere... to the edge of outer space, to the ever so fragile line that divides earth from universe. if he'd have just done that, gone all the way up there in his little single person pod and come back down, i would have been amazed. but he didn't. he went all the way. he walked out of his pod in his spacesuit and right over the edge to make his epic descent back to the planet.

this dude fell and fell and fell.... free falling for multiple minutes and several thousand feet. seriously, during free fall, i was thinking, "isn't this guy gonna die?" hopefully he wasn't thinking that. i'm sure he had his plan and that plan ended with him living. but to see this individual falling in the sky.... all by himself, from outer space till the ground of the earth, it just blew me away. that's quite the landing. some space shuttles can't pull that off (not trying to be insensitive but i feel like the comparison gives it some perspective).

as he pulled a cable or pressed a button on his super suit,  his big ol' red bull parachute filled the air and slowed him down so that he could complete his elegant descent back onto the earth. holy shit. holy fucking shit. i couldn't believe i just saw that. no frenzy of jets touchdowns could replace something so amazing. in a moment's notice, i had totally forgotten all about that dude who walked over niagra falls.

i'm just inspired that someone would choose to do this. shit ain't perfect and the world's a fucked up mess. but every now and again someone does something absolutely amazing to help restore just a bit of my faith in other people. i'm sure there's a payoff and a paycheck... but this isn't done without passion and without purpose. this dude's driven.

and i know a jump from outer space isn't gonna fix the world... but if we could all just pause for a second and let go of all our bullshit and just be in awe of a human being who wanted to stretch the limitations of what we consider to be possible, isn't there something redeeming in that? i'm not looking for a revolution of space jumpers to come plummeting to the earth. but look around... there's so many possibilities, so much that can be done. let's get to work people. felix is doing his part. go be amazing.

reverend josh, stand up comedian

one week ago today, i officiated a wedding ceremony. i'm an ordained minister (i became ordained through the internet. go look up 'universal life church,' if you for any reason want more info on that sorta stuff. it's not a religion and i'm definitely not religious). it was the third wedding ceremony i officiated. not bad for a dude who thought it'd be fun as a goof to refer to myself as reverend josh.

officiating a marriage is definitely a cool experience. i can't help but notice certain similarities it shares with stand up comedy. the first and most obvious being that the more you do it, the better you get at it. no surprise there, practice makes perfect. this last marriage was also the most ceremonious one i've done so far. there was a reception, a bar, a dj, and caterers. people traveled from far places to be there. i felt more pressure than usual to be good (not bad pressure, like it wasn't panicky, anxiety like pressure. i just wanted to do a good job). because of that i prepped more this time around and spoke a whole lot more fancy words than in my previous two ceremonies. 

the next similarity would be how i observe other weddings i go to. since my first marriage gig, i've never been able to go to other weddings and just enjoy the ceremony as it's happening. i'm mentally taking notes. i'm looking for positive things that i can take away from it so that i can be better for my next performance. sometimes i'm criticizing whoever it is that's doing the officiating. if something's not good, i'll say to myself, "i would never do that."

and i'm guilty of the same shit with stand up comedy. i can't watch stand up comedy and just chill back and enjoy it. i'm always taking notes. i'm always critiquing and comparing myself and looking for ways to observe others and take away aspects of performances that can help me become a better performer. with stand up, it's almost a little sucky that it has to be this way. i started doing stand up comedy cuz i was such a fan of it. before i ever tried it myself, i never watched stand up comedy with such scrutiny. i'm not gonna say the thrill is totally gone. i can still enjoy a good joke. but it's harder. and sometimes, especially with someone on the level of george carlin, i'll watch and think to myself, "why am i even trying to do this? he was so damn good, and i'm just not so damn good. i should just quit." i don't quit, but i guess it's sorta a bummer when the highest compliment i have now for stand up comedy is, "your shit's so good, it makes me wanna quit."

on a sorta unrelated but sorta related note, i'm glad i never followed through on rock and roll pipe dreams of picking up a guitar and learning how to play and writing songs and starting bands. i love music so much as a fan. and it's great that i know absolutely nothing about how to create music myself. the magic still exists. i don't know how easy or how hard it is to create certain songs... all i know is how much i love or dislike them. and i think it'd be the biggest bummer of all if my music listening experience was in any way altered from the way it is now.

the lesson here.... fuck rock and roll, go get ordained... and when you see me on the streets, tell me i should never quit stand up comedy.

thanks!

happy national coming out day

 today is 'national coming out day,' which i think is awesome. however, it feels a lot like mother's day to me... which is another holiday i also find to be awesome cuz my mom rules. so i'm more than happy to make that day about her. but my mom's a special kinda awesome, the kinda awesome that can't just be contained to a single day. i think my mom should be appreciated every day.

to me, 'coming out' is a shorter way of saying, 'i'm gonna be and love myself and let the world know about it.'  i'm all for it. you should be yourself and love yourself for who you are. what bothers me though is that we live in a world where a shitload of people still feel bullied and pressured to repress and hide who they really are from everyone else. that's fucked up.

having a day dedicated to coming out to bring awareness to the cause is awesome. but it's also an acknowledgement of our past. the homophobic have been winning. but the tides are turning and i feel confident in saying that those who look down on the lgbt community are on the wrong side of history. that's why 'national coming out day,' is a great thing. it's a positive step in the right direction.

but i wait, speak, hope, and fight for a day when being yourself is never a big deal. no one should ever feel like they have to hide who they really are. being gay isn't wrong. condemning people for being gay is the real wrongdoing. those who try to force their heterosexual lifestyle onto the lgbt community are not only wrong, they're guilty of exhibiting fascist behavior. stop being fascists! just let people be people. seems so simple.

anyways, happy coming out day everybody. hopefully this time next year they'll have hallmark cards in cvs to mark the occasion.

just say what you're thinking

it's so hard to just say what you're thinking. hard for me, anyways. i've lived a good chunk of my life playing it safe and trying to offend the least amount of people as possible. i've tended to travel the road that had the highest probability of me coming out on the other end unscathed. most times if there was a thought in my head that i thought might offend, i've swallowed it and kept it to myself... figuring either no one is interested in what i got to say or even worse, someone will think negative of what it is i have to say.

the older i get, the less safe i play it, the more i find myself speaking my mind more openly. but the amount of time i speak my mind openly is still not sufficient for me. i still find myself in many situations where i hold on to my words cuz i don't wanna rock a boat that don't need rocking. it's not that i don't wanna say whatever it is that i'm thinking, i just don't wanna deal with the consequences. whenever i convince myself to not speak my mind, it's more a matter of convenience than anything else.

but  that makes me sad. i feel like i keep sacrificing the greater good and the bigger picture for measly moments. and i keep telling myself that i'm gonna stop acting like that. that i'm gonna say what's on my mind and that i'm gonna follow through on my own convictions. cuz if i think something is right in my own heart, then i'm only being my own worst enemy when i deny myself the opportunity to follow through on that. i may avoid awkward or negative moments... but the price i pay is my own self respect.

i know this for certain... it's harder to speak your mind. it's harder to be honest with yourself by being honest with everyone else around you. the more i speak my mind, the more i open up, the more i tell myself i don't give a fuck what people think about me or what i think or say, the more resistance i get. my mantra as of late has been, "i don't give a fuck what they think." repeat it three times and speak:

i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.

but just the simple fact that i have to try and pump myself up let's me know that i have a long way to go. i wanna speak my mind like it's my natural instinct. i want to say what's on my mind like i have to use the bathroom. it comes out, nothing's stopping it, and when it's said and done, i feel like a better person for it. that's where i want to be. that's what i have my sights on.

but shit ain't easy. i'm sure i'll find myself being opened to more scrutiny and feedback and a lot of it will turn out to be negative. and that's a lot to face. it's tough to stay strong sometimes when it feels like the world is telling you that you're wrong even though you know in the deepest caverns of your heart that you're fucking right. it can be all so soul crushing.

just keep saying....


i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.

albums and running and whatnot

when i run, i like to listen to music. i usually listen to full length albums instead of having some sorta shuffle mode to listen to random songs by random artists. i find there's something about running to an entire album that's sorta cool.... like as i'm running, i'm also discovering the depth of whichever band it is i'm listening to at the moment. plus it allows me to get lost in the music. i've tried running to shuffle mode and it's not the same. most times when the next song begins to play, it'll momentarily take me out of whatever zone i may have been in. listening to full albums allows me to stay in that zone, which i find to be really good for lengthy runs.

and outside of running, it's helped to reinforce how i listen to music. i was a late bloomer to mp3. i had been listening to cd's longer than most people i know. when i first made the switch to mp3, i kinda adopted the shuffle mode. i guess cuz it was something new that wasn't available to me before. but running helped bring me back to listening to albums in their entirety. and as a music fan, i prefer it that way. to really appreciate a band and their sound, i think you have to dig your claws into whole albums instead of a random song here and there.

what concerns me as of late is the effect internet radio has on the concept of listening to full albums. i'm looking for an internet radio station that will play full albums. but i guess that'd sorta be against the point. if i could hear a full album on the radio, why would i go out and buy it? still, i can't help but notice lately that when i'm out and about, most people are fine with playing an internet radio station for parties, get togethers, long drives, and so on. makes me nostalgic for the times when the soundtrack of house parties always included a skipping cd.

maybe i'm just out of touch. i don't know, i'll let you decide. i'm gonna go play with my record player now (yes, i own a record player and records and it's awesome).

stop making fun of lady gaga

i keep seeing and reading things here and there on the internet claiming that lady gaga put on weight. i read a story somewhere that her label or her management or whatever over intrusive party wanted her to lose weight. cuz that's what makes the music, right? if lady gaga's not thin, the sound changes... cuz that's how music works, of course.

it doesn't matter who you are... even if you happen to be the biggest pop star in the world. if lady gaga and jay-z decided to dedicate the next five years of their lives to eating deep fried twinkies, who gives a fuck? if they're happy, why can't everyone else mind their own shit. you like skinny? go be skinny. don't throw that shit on everyone else.

anyone who would even make a comment about lady gaga's weight immediately reveals the depths of their own shallowness. and when you put it into perspective, this is about way more than just lady gaga. this is the judgmental world we live in. for fuck's sake, drop the magazines, turn off the tv, and get the fuck off the internet. go outside. get some fresh air. live your life and go do what you gotta do so that you feel beautiful to yourself. cuz the more you trap yourself inside the confines of what "they" think is sexy, the more of a prisoner you become. you're just a sucker who believes there's nothing more to the human experience than being pretty by some set of bullshit standards other people made up.

see behind the bullshit. beautiful doesn't have a weight requirement. whether it's lady gaga or your next door neighbor... stop casting your shallow, uninformed judgments on everyone else. don't you see how miserable you've become? when you have nothing better to do than mock a pop star for how they appear on tv.... you've lost grip of your own reality. turn the tv off. go outside. breath. for fuck's sake, what's wrong with you???

an open letter to jaded cashiers

i get it. you don't like your job. maybe it's the bosses or the hours or maybe you're too good for your job. hey, i've been there. i've been you, serving the public eight hours at a time and loathing all parts of the experience. no one likes to be treated like shit and unfortunately people have a tendency to treat cashiers like shit. and that's fucked up and totally not cool. you're mad at the world and you're totally justified in your rage.

but don't take it out on me. i know you need an outlet and i wish you luck in your quest to find one. but i can assure you i'm not that dude. i've seen things from your perspective and i empathize to a degree. my empathy is made blatantly obvious by how well mannered i am in my interactions with cashiers. so please, when i stroll up into the front of the line ready to make my purchase, please don't retort to my politeness with some rude behavior. i'm trying to be a nice guy here. but if you push my buttons, then suddenly i find myself pushed into my own form of cashier rage. here i was just trying to be nice and now i'm getting shitted on for my efforts.

you see what happened there? you're suddenly guilty of being everything you hate in everyone else. people treat you like crap and that makes you mad. you take your anger out on me and maybe you somehow feel better, but you shouldn't. as a cashier, you of all people should know how much it sucks to be treated like crap. and every time you pull that shit on me, i start to feel less and less bad for you. i start to think that maybe you're a douche and you deserve to be where you are, behind that register not enjoying one moment of it.

and please spare me the shopping advice. you not liking your job is not a good reason for you to tell me i shouldn't shop there. yes, i understand, you would never shop here. and i would hope you wouldn't if you hate it so much. but that's not me. i don't have to answer to your asshole bosses. you either work in a place that has excellent prices or a convenient location and there's not much you can say that will convince me that i shouldn't shop here. so thanks, sorta, for the advice. but maybe you should think about the money i spend in this "hellhole," and how part of it ends up in your paycheck.... the same paycheck which i'm sure you spend on shit you enjoy. if everyone decides to stop shopping here, you'll stop receiving paychecks and you'll be out of a job.

but i get it. you can always find another job being a shitty cashier somewhere else.

and to all the cool cashiers out there, i love you and hope you take no offense. i'm a big fan and you should be commended for staying so awesome under such hostile conditions. you're the best of our breed.

so long replacement refs, i hardly knew ya

i for one am gonna miss the replacement refs in the nfl. sure, they were pretty bad at their job, made a ton of mistakes, and were absolutely responsible for fucking up the final outcome of a few games along the way. as far as the art of refereeing goes, they were hard to watch... kinda like that sucky band your friend is in who always guilt trips you into going to see them live and you go cuz you know it means a lot to your friend but boy does that band suck. yea, it's a lot like that. these were the kinda referees that only their own mothers could love... unless their mothers had money on the green bay packers three nights ago.

so if the replacement refs sucked so much, why do i suddenly find myself a fan of theirs now that i know they won't be around anymore? mostly it's cuz i'm a fan of chaos. i love watching things not go as planned. and who plans harder than the nfl? there's a time limit and boundaries, and rules.... so many rules. it's such a big show and the expectations are so high and everyone expects the nfl to deliver on a consistent, never-ending basis. up until this whole replacement ref debacle, i'd dare say that as far as packaging a sports product for tv goes, no one runs a tighter ship than the nfl. so watching replacement refs fuck it all up brought me a certain kind of joy. it's the same thing as watching people fall down staircases (or the ever so rare falling upstairs). it's a train wreck. it's watching explosions. who doesn't, on some primal level, enjoy the fuck out of that sorta thing?

i also take into account that these refs were thrown into a situation they couldn't win. there was no way they were gonna be able to keep up with the speed of the game and deliver the goods. and yet the nfl stuck by them hard for three weeks. they defended them publicly and fined coaches for disrespecting them. players trashed them on radio shows and twitter accounts. i found it kinda hard not to sympathize with the poor bastards. the nfl fucked up by not taking care of the "real" refs in the first place before the season started. these replacements took the fall and were subjected to being boo'd by thousands. imagine how shitty that feels?

or how great, who knows? they were villains, whether they liked it or not. and if you're gonna be labeled a villain no matter how hard you try not to be one, why not flip the script and enjoy it for what it's worth? as it stands now, these replacements will have this story to tell for the rest of their lives. they'll be able to say that they were the ones who tarnished the infallible nfl. up until three days ago, the nfl thought they could do whatever they wanted and the fans would always blindly stick by their side. but by messing up one certain game so bad, there was no way the nfl could stay the course any longer.

these replacement refs may have been a scourge to the purity of football. but they may have also helped the nfl evolve. for once fans were outraged enough to start saying things like, "i'm not watching that anymore." i don't know if most fans would've followed through at first, but this was just the beginning. people were just starting to say it. if bad things kept happening, fans would've eventually followed through on the tough talk and stopped watching.

and if you don't believe it, the nfl surely did. it's no coincidence that talks with the "real" refs intensified the day after the infamous seahawks/packers debacle. an agreement was finalized in two days.... TWO DAYS! the nfl went three weeks deep into the regular season talking tough and in the end, all it took was two days to totally deflate and admit defeat.

if this were a battle, the replacement refs won. sure, they won't work in the nfl anymore, but their impact will be felt for many years to come. it'll be some time before anyone... fans, nfl brass, the "real" refs, players/coaches, etc forgets what happened this season.

way to go replacement refs. you're gone but won't be forgotten.

 

things i think i know about fighting

i know i suck at fighting. that's first and foremost. okay, i don't know that for sure... but it's most likely the safest of assumptions. i haven't been in a fight since the fifth grade. and even that fight was pretty uneventful. me and this other kid, mike, paced around each other. we were surrounded by kids from school. he took a swing at my ear and it hurt. i looked up and next thing i knew, my brother phil had jumped on his back.  we were fighting on some dude's front yard and it was at that moment that he came out of his house and chased us away.

so that's it. that's my fighting career pretty much. i'd say i'm 0-1, but my loss is a technicality. we never got to finish it. who knows what would've happened? sometimes i like to think that maybe i have this natural flair for fighting and if i was given the proper chance, i would've kicked mike's ass in fifth grade.

but i don't like fighting. i'm usually the dude who tries to break it up. which is good and leads me to my next point about fighting. i'm convinced you can stop almost all fights from happening. the only fights you can't stop are the ones that start with a cheap shot.... and that's not fair cuz no one sees that coming. it's not fair to the dude you hit and it's not fair to people like me who try to play peace keeper. but otherwise, most fights start with two dudes (or females) talking shit to each other. if you can get a few people in between them who are really committed to not seeing them fight, then you can usually have them talk trash to one another till they exhaust themselves and lose the passion they had to kick one another's asses.

on to the next point- don't judge people by how they look. just the other night i saw 2 people kick 4 people's asses. i tell no lie. and if you lined the 6 combatants up, you'd probably pick the 4 dudes dressed in your typical urban/thuggish attire to be able to handle the other 2, one with long hair and glasses, the other with a fancy looking hat (sorry billy, love your fancy hats, please don't kick my ass). and if you would've picked those 4, you would've been very wrong that night.

whatever it is that inspires people to fight seems like a big deal at the moment. but most of the time, if you allow yourself to sleep on it, whatever it is you found yourself fighting over will seem like way less of a big deal. i'm not saying all reasons to fight are stupid or unimportant.... there's exceptions to this rule i suppose... i'm speaking more about the majority of the time, and from what i have seen with my own eyes.

i don't think fighting is cool. but at the same time, i also think there should be more fighting. every time i hear about a stabbing or a shooting, i think to myself, how much better would it be if they just threw fists at each other instead? fighting's a shitty thing to do, but if you compare it to certain things, it doesn't seem so bad. i'd love to root for world peace... but i don't think it's very likely in my lifetime. so if i can trade down some of the more violent stuff that happens for fistfights, i'd be all for it.

anyways, if you can and when in doubt, hug it out bitches. real men give hugs. increase the peace. i'm out.