you can't bomb mother nature

you can't bomb mother nature. you can't point missiles at the sky and fire away. we can't observe what mother nature's done to us and use that as a rally cry for warfare. human beings are quick to fix problems with war. we assume we can go to war with anything. but we can't go to war against nature. there's no battlefield. it's a nonexistent option. in this one specific case, war no longer exists.

way i see it, we have two choices.

we can try and learn from our mistakes and see what we've done to negatively affect our surroundings and get our homo sapien asses in gear and start to treat the planet better. start making sacrifices. cut back on pollution and depletion of resources. plant more trees, reuse and recycle... y'know, all that happy hippie tree hugging stuff. i know this all sounds a little hokey but it's really the only option that can enhance any chance of survival.

the other choice is to just keep going on as we have. ignore the warning signs. debate whether global warming is real or not. keep on with the polluting and depleting. this is the easier option and in my estimation, based on what i know about humans from my 33 years of experience dealing with them, is the more likely option we'll choose. if this is our choice, things will continue to get worse. we'll never see progress. eventually we'll make earth uninhabitable to humans and we'll either have to fuck off to another planet or go the way of the dinosaurs.

it seems like as a species, we're wired to think that if we can't bomb the problem and make it go away, we'll just learn to adapt and live with it somehow. and that's stupid. we need to lace up our boots and start treating the planet better. but that takes effort and energy and sacrifice and that's all very hard.

the lesson that should be learned here is that war should never be the first go-to option. maybe we should assess situations and see how we can improve our relations with whatever it is that's bothering us. drug culture, terrorism, that shit's never going away. and neither is mother nature. at least drug culture and terrorism will die with us once mother nature puts us out of our misery. but mother nature's gonna live on. she don't give a fuck. she doesn't need us. we need her.

no scott weiland, no stone temple pilots

scott weiland is no longer a member of stone temple pilots. depending on who you ask, you'll hear different reasons for it. the rest of the band will say he's fired. scott will say that he wasn't fired or that they never told him he was fired or as far as he knew, they were still a band. either way, weiland's touring solo with a backup band called the wildabouts and the rest of the stone temple pilots replaced scott with chester bennington (of linkin park fame) and continue to use the same name.

as a fan of stone temple pilots AND scott weiland, i find the whole thing to be a bummer... even though i did  see scott weiland live at irving plaza a couple months ago and thought it was awesome. not only did i find it to be entertaining, but it was awesome to see scott in such a small venue. stp's an arena band. they're just too big to tour that circuit. but weiland solo can get away with it and i'm glad i was there.

i've strayed a bit off my point.... but my opinion on the matter is this, i believe scott weiland has the right to tour solo as 'scott weiland' and cover stone temple pilots songs. i believe the rest of stone temple pilots have the right to tour with another singer and play whatever they want as well, but (and this is a big BUT), i think they should use a different name. without scott weiland, they are no longer stone temple pilots. and i don't care what any court of law has to say about it. as an stp fan myself, i won't acknowledge it.

when a lead singer leaves a band (or more specifically, a famous band that's been famous for years), i think in almost all cases they're completely irreplaceable. and honestly, if both entities decide to tour separately, you're gonna probably get a closer replica of the original product at the lead singer's show as opposed to the show that features the rest of the band. it's way easier for a new batch of musicians to replicate what the former musicians did than it is for a new singer to replicate the sound of the original singer.

and it's even bigger bullshit when the old band picks up a new singer and writes new music under the old name. that's what stone temple pilots are doing right now. other bands are guilty of this as well... i'm looking at you alice in chains and sublime (w/ rome). granted, with those two examples, their original singers died... but death should be the end of it anyways. how are bands more concrete than marriages? it should be till death do us part... not till death do us part unless we can tour the country and make some fucking money off of the nostalgia.

i'm sure some of you are thinking, "yea, well what about van halen?" what about van halen? they got famous with david lee roth. they conquered the rock and roll pop market with david lee roth. sure, they made some hits with sammy hagar... but there's no way that if van halen started out with sammy hagar in the first place that they ever would have gotten as big as they did... no way at all. i'm not accepting any requests to even debate this.

in fact, as far as i know, there's only two successful exceptions to the rule...the first one being ac/dc. i don't know how they did it. maybe 'back in black,' just rocks that hard. i don't know. i have no explanation. it's the exception damn it. i'll always be a bon scott guy myself, but it's hard to deny that ac/dc probably became more popular than ever when they enlisted brian johnson's vocal services.

the other exception is the dropkick murphys. i'll fight everyone in the world to the death in my defense that the murphys best two albums were the first two with singer mike mccolgan. but al barr did the job on every album since and the murphys, much like ac/dc (on a smaller scale), became more popular. however, the dropkick murphys are punk rock. and al barr was in another punk band before the murphys (the bruisers) and mike mcclogan eventually went on to start up another punk rock band called the, 'street dogs,' and that's just what punk rock bands do. they share and rotate vocalists and it works but you hardly ever hear about it cuz it's punk and not mainstream.

but the stone temple pilots are far from a punk rock band and they need to stop all this bickering and agree to put the moniker, 'stone temple pilots,' to rest. i can't stand reading about the two sides locked in bitter disagreement. stp's suing weiland. weiland claims stp has no right to use the name. it's like an ugly divorce. and stp comes from an era of grunge and alternative music when a lot of kids sought out bands as an escape from their problems. stp was part of that get away for kids of the 90's. and now that we're all grown up, a band that used to be part of the solution can't solve their own problems. it's time to put an official end to, 'stone temple pilots,' and let the legacy stand on it's own. and whatever you do, don't tour under the name, 'linkin park.'

the evolution of a dude who used to say, "that's gay," a lot

i used to be the sorta dude that said, "that's gay," a lot. i was younger and dumber than i am now. i'd say it without much effort, just sorta naturally rolled off the tongue. i never thought being gay was a bad thing. and i don't know why this phrase stuck to my vernacular like it did. i could try and blame it on my peer group or on growing up as a heterosexual dude who grew up around other heterosexual dudes and that's just what we said to things we disapproved of. it was the boy's club/locker room mentality. but i can't blame it on any of that. this is one of those things, looking back, that i had to take personal responsibility for.

i'm not sure when i stopped saying it. at some point i smartened up and just dropped it. what i can remember was the last time i said it and was shamed for it publicly. i was performing at an open mic and i was riffing and for some reason, i said something like, "blah blah blah, that's so gay." so the comic that came up after me took that and exposed me. he started to riff about people saying, 'that's gay,' and how stupid it sounded.

i'm not trying to say that if this shaming didn't take place, i'd still be saying, "that's gay." i just think that was the last clear memory i have of saying it and i immediately felt bad and stupid and looking back i think that's the right reaction to have. if i was ever gonna stop saying it, i had to feel bad about saying it in the first place. a younger josh didn't really get that he was making two HUGE mistakes every time he called something gay:

1- it's offensive and insensitive. i'm not trying to be a pc warrior here. offending people has its place and time. but saying, "that's gay," is to slight all gay people within earshot. and that's not cool and that was definitely never my intention. what i had to learn (and what i should've known to begin with)was that no matter how i thought i meant it, i was wrong and it was offending people who didn't deserve to be offended. cuz when it comes to offending people, i only wanna go after the assholes who deserve it.

2- usually the thing in question wasn't gay. it was just something i disapproved of... like i hate eggplant. so a younger, dumber josh would effortlessly say, "eggplant is gay." so not only was i offensive and insensitive but i was also stupid.

so anyways, here i stand before you now, a changed dude. i no longer use the word 'gay' as some form of disapproval. and it's cool to look back sometimes and see myself improve as a human being (i still probably have a shitload of work to do though in the 'improving as a human dept').

and could we please not talk about the times when i used to use the word, 'nigga' (cuz y'know, it ended with an 'a' and not an 'er')? i owned limp bizkit albums and a red yankees baseball cap. i was clearly a mess at the time.

public transportation warriors

the use of public transportation on a regular basis is for warriors only.

it's true. the people riding the buses and trains to work, those are warriors. it takes discipline and determination to keep it moving every single day. one wrong push of the snooze button means you miss your first bus of the day. and boom, now you're late and your whole day is fucked. public transportation warriors can't let that happen. we're constantly racing against time. 

we have to endure all forms of outdoor weather... rain, snow, hot, cold, whatever fucked up weather you can think of, the public transportation warriors are out in it, not letting it slow us down. whenever the weather's against us, we suddenly find ourselves not only in a battle against time, but against nature as well.

and then we gotta deal with each other. public transportation gets crowded. and there's all sorts of people out there. sure, a lot of them are the sane ones playing music through earphones at a reasonable level and staring out the window till it's time for them to get off at their stop. but in the midst of the crowds, there's some fucking lunatics you have to share your space with. and the crazies come in all different shapes, ages, and sizes. you never know when you're about to find yourself in an encounter with quite possibly the craziest person you'll ever meet in your total existence. warriors, we are.

and sometimes drivers, conductors, and other public transportation employees are dicks. their power isn't much, but it's enough power to mess your life up. say you get the same driver everyday and that dude hates you. what're you going to do about it? he can passive-aggressively give you shit everyday of your life, at the beginning or end of your day no less when you really don't need that kinda bullshit, and there's nothing you can do about it. you need that dude and he knows it. oh what little bit of power that can be abused by some assholes. 

i'm not saying all employees are dicks. i definitely run into more cool bus drivers than not cool. but it's the ones that pull the d-bag routine that get remembered (unfortunately). they pose a threat to our basic survival in the urban jungle. we can't do anything about it. go ahead and complain. they're union. good luck. you can't punch a driver. you can do serious time for that sorta thing. you have to swallow  your pride and eat whatever bullshit an asshole bus driver gives you. that blows, but it's sorta just one more part of your life where you have to stay quiet and take shit if you know what's good for you. it's tough, but hey, we're warriors.

some people say, 'when are you gonna get a car?' and i'm tempted to blurt out, 'never!' every single time. having a car doesn't interest me. it's a lot of sacrifice for convenience. all it's really doing is breeding laziness. i'm now suddenly saddled with monthly bills and paying for gas and basic upkeep just so i can sleep an extra 20 minutes and not have to deal with the lunatic passengers and the d-bag bus driver. and cars are awful. they're in a constant state of decay. however good your car is now, it'll never be that good again. 

i run into a fair amount of lazy people with cars. and a year riding buses and trains would probably do them some good. when it's time to get up and go, that's it, you gotta move. and i don't know if that sorta thing sounds awful to other people cuz i'm so used to doing what i gotta do to make sure i'm there on time, that it's all second nature to me at this point. when it comes to the commute, i run like clockwork. so for whatever laziness i may be guilty of in life, no one can deny me this, when it's time to get out of bed or get off the couch and walk (or maybe even speed walk or run depending on the circumstances) into whatever elements outside, i move. i make it happen. 

also, public transportation is waaaay cheaper than owning a car. so we're not pulling this whole warrior routine for nothing. the money we save is the reward of the public transportation warrior. that's why we're always ordering out for lunch at work while you're eating ramen.  

jodi arias is ready to die

i don't know a whole lot about the jodi arias trial. it's one of those things i try and not get too into. i don't find it intriguing like a ton of other people do. i've done such a decent job of not knowing much about this topic up to this point, but recently she was found guilty of first degree murder and this story has suddenly become totally impossible to ignore.

so all i do know about it is what i hear from some of my coworkers. it's either that, or the bit of cnn i watch while sitting down in the break room at work cuz the tv is stuck on cnn forever. their coverage of the trial's increased even more in the past few days making it really hard for me to not know anything at all about this trial.

if i'm to believe my coworkers and cnn's coverage, jodi arias is psychotic. the way she killed that dude sure seems it. she changed her story a lot and she's pretty much the guiltiest thing in big time, media crazy murder trials since o.j. simpson. and i get all that. but i don't find any of it interesting. it's not that i find psychotic murder cases to be blasé, but it's sorta happening all the time. why should i focus in on this particular case right here?

the only part that seems to intrigue me much is the deliberation over whether jodi arias should get life in jail or  the death penalty. me personally, i say give her life in prison. i mean, if you really wanna punish her. death's easy. anyone can die. there's no struggle in death. living the rest of your life in prison, that's shitty. that's a struggle. that's an awful fate to wake up to everyday, without fail, never ending. and even then, when you serve life in jail, you still die. it just takes forever. and however you end up dying in jail is probably a whole lot suckier than some ethical lethal injection. seriously? how hard is that? lay there, let them prick your skin with a needle, and in no time you'll be asleep forever.

jodi arias herself said she'd rather die. i heard nancy grace call her a liar. grace accused arias of trying to dupe everyone with reverse psychology cuz she wants to live. but i disagree. if i were in that situation, i'd totally wanna die... and as soon as possible. arias said death is true freedom and she's right. once you're dead, you're relieved of all your duties on this planet. i don't see how anyone can possibly see the death penalty as the worst option of the two. it boggles my mind.

i'm guessing it has something to do with most people being scared to die. so when they look at the situation from afar, they simplify it as, 'being alive' vs. 'being dead.' and hey, i don't dig the idea of dying as much as the next human being, but when i think of the idea of living out the rest of my life (random shot in the dark, that's probably at least 40 years) in a jail cell, in a prison with no hopes, no dreams, no vacations, pretty much no freedom... that seems way scarier than death.

and the odd thing is that in principle, i'm against the death penalty. i don't think human beings have a right to kill other human beings. i mean, that's why we're all so pissed at jodi arias, isn't it? so what gives us the right to turn around and do the same thing (although there'd be some shock value entertainment if the death penalty was all eye-for-an-eye and her execution was done in the same style that she killed travis alexander)? so it's like a double whammy for me.... if she gets life in prison, my ethical code is not affected AND she pays the bigger price.

jodi arias is ready to die. what she's not ready for is spending the rest of her shitty life in a shitty prison.

somebody scream

today was just one of those days where i wanted to scream my head off. you know what i'm talking about, right? whether it's work or something in your home or social life or something you encountered throughout your day, sooner or later we all get to experience those special days that infuriate us to a point where we wanna scream. or at least i think this is a universal thing... if i'm alone on this, then i wanna know what everyone else's secret is.

but what's frustrating is i can't scream. there's no suitable place to scream. i can't do it at the office. coworkers and superiors might not appreciate that. i can't do it at home cuz my neighbors won't appreciate it. i can't do it on the street cuz people will think i'm some nut. i can't do it on buses, in stores, at a friend's house, or during a yoga class (although sporadically screaming during a yoga class would probably be some epic shit).

and i know if i scream, i'll feel a little better. i just gotta get it out of my system. i'm basically just an angry animal that needs to let out a ferocious roar (or as ferocious as i can make it), and there is no place accepting of that type of behavior. and that tends to frustrate me a little more. i can't silence the urge to scream. i can only suppress it and hold it down till a later time. but i know i gotta let it out or else it'll eventually find it's way out of my system on its own.

i'm starting to think that maybe we need designated times and/or places where/when it's okay to scream. need to scream? just visit the nearest screaming room equipped with soundproof walls. let it out and don't leave that room till you get it all out of your system. or if we could all agree on a specific time, let's say 5:46pm, when everyone just drops what they're doing and let's out the biggest scream they got. that'd not only be relieving but it'd be kinda awesome.

i don't think there's anything wrong with screaming. i'm just a dude who's slightly ticked at the ways of the universe at the moment and i know a good, guttural scream would fix everything and i'd be all good after that, or at least until the next time i need to scream.

all i am saying, is give scream a chance.... man.

look ma, i'm shaving again

i got rid of my beard just about two weeks ago. since then, i've shaved four times. i actually just shaved for the fourth time right before sitting down to write this at 10:12pm on a tuesday night. for just about the past two years, i didn't shave much. i hardly had a clean shaven face. i usually shaved 2-3 months apart, letting my beard grow in during those times. and i've come to really enjoy having a beard. and now that i've shaved four times in the past two weeks, which is probably as frequent as any six month period in the pat few years, i'm reminded just how much i dislike shaving.

since the time when hairs started growing on my face and i've had to put a blade to it, i've never enjoyed it much. i always found it to be the most annoying of personal grooming habits. when i first started shaving, it was like i had to. i didn't have the ability to grow a semi-decent looking beard till somewhere in my 20's. and i lacked so much confidence in beard growing, i didn't really start giving it my best effort till late into my 20's.

but then i grew a full beard and let it go for a month... and then a second month. and i realized something when i'd look in the mirror or see myself in pictures. i liked the results. i was a fan of a bearded josh. and as time moved on, i shaved less and less and worried less and less about my facial hair, confident in what was growing on my face.

and then two weeks ago i decided i was gonna try to go clean shaven for a while cuz i hadn't kept up with a clean shaven face on a consistent basis in what's felt like years. the idea first came to me cuz i'd shave and i wouldn't recognize the dude in the mirror anymore. he looked weird. i was so used to me with a beard i just couldn't fathom myself without one. so now my challenge to myself is to stay clean shaven at least till i look in the mirror and i don't think that anymore. i wanna see myself beardless and go, 'yep, that's me right there.' i don't wanna feel like a freak in my own head for not having a beard.

but it's sorta a bummer. my dislike for shaving is probably greater than my love for having a beard (which is a healthy amount of lovin'). and i can't help but wonder, why do we shave? who started this? seriously. i don't get it. beards are natural. we're supposed to have them otherwise we wouldn't, right??? some dingus somewhere in history picked up a blade, chopped his own beard, and said, "hey, look at me." and for whatever reason, other people followed in this trend. the whole thing lacks common sense if you ask me. you see someone with a big, scruffy beard nowadays and think, "oh, look at that freak." but he's not a freak, daddy-o. he's a lot closer to the way nature intended him to be than all the clean shaven squares of the world.

so anyways, i miss my beard. again. and i just shaved and my face feels violated... like i robbed it of it's natural form of expression. but this too shall pass and eventually i'll either: a) get used to looking clean shaven and keep it going for a while or b) revolt against shaving which is just a revolt against natural order anyways so really i'll end up doing what all men were meant to do and that's let my beard grow.

option b is a strong contender.

being 33

it's been an odd time for me to find myself at the age of 33. three very distinct things have crossed my path within the past couple of days that has me all sorts of contemplative about my age and where i'm at in life. i don't have a verdict. i can't tell you if i've done good or bad. i suppose i'm much like anyone else. i have a bunch of good days with a few bad days here and there. my life isn't perfect (who's is?) and my life isn't awful. it's somewhere in between and sometimes i feel good about it and sometimes i don't. and most of the time i think everyone thinks the same thing about their own lives.

the first thing to cross my path was this article written by none other than kareem abdul-jabbar. he lists 20 things he wish he knew at age 30 (i realize i'm 33, but close enough). i read this article and most of the advice probably won't stick with me and maybe it should... or maybe i have the right to stumble through my 30's and write an article much like he did somewhere down the line later in life as well.

but that's all besides the point at hand here. what struck me most was the nature of the article as a whole. for the first time in quite a while, i felt a-ok with not having it all figured out. if an nba megastar can look back on his 30's with some regret, it helps me put things into perspective. i'm not looking for excuses to fuck up and do things (or in some cases, not do things) i'll regret. but it's sorta comforting to know that if and when i do, i'm not alone. cuz if kareem abdul-jabbar didn't have all the answers at age 30, none of us stand much of a chance.

the next thing that happened was the passing of chris kelly, who was a member of kriss kross. he was 34. whenever a celebrity dies near my age, i get a little freaked out for a second. i'm not scared to die but i don't wanna die now. whenever i think about death, i always think it's something that's gonna happen much later and i don't have to worry or plan for that at this moment. then chris kelly dies and it's all over the place and i'm confronted with the harsh reality that i could die at this age. belushi died at 33. so did jesus. it's not that any of this makes me think i'm gonna die soon, but i gotta admit to myself that it's not impossible either.

the good news i tell myself is that the three names listed above lived life a little differently than i did. if what i've read turns out to be true, people suspect chris kelly died due to a drug overdose (that's how belushi went out also). i'm not on hardcore drugs. i don't even smoke pot (i'm not trying to say pot's any sorta thing that can kill you, i'm just trying to paint a vivid image of how non-hardcore i am). and people were pissed at jesus cuz he proclaimed to be the son of god. i don't know if it's true, but even if it is, that's some crazy shit to say and people don't like what they don't understand.

the pattern for dying at age 33 seems to be that you really have to go out and earn it. you have to do lots of drugs or you have to tell people something that makes them feel uncomfortable or makes them think you're crazy and a danger to society. and i don't do any of that. it seems that if you really wanna die at age 33, you really gotta get out there and try hard to make it happen.

and i realize there's other things that could happen as well that could kill me... car accidents, natural disasters... stuff you can't control. and yea that all sucks. but all that sorta stuff can kill a 7 year old in much the same manner. those sorta things are beyond our control and have nothing to do with being 33 or being any age in particular.

the last thing that happened was hearing that andrew seward left the band against me! he was their bassist. i don't know exactly how old he is and it doesn't show up right away after doing a google search so i've stopped trying to find out. but i assume he's near my age. i'm pretty sure all the members of the band are. and against me! is one of my all time favorites. i fucking love this band. so i was really bummed to hear it. it seemed to be a peaceful separation with no drama though. the other members of the band even wished him luck.

and that's the thing. he's just moving on. i don't know why specifically but i think i get it. life's odd like that. you find yourself in a kick ass rock and roll band but there's still other stuff you probably wanna do with your life. here he is making a major transition in his life and he's in my age group. that's insane. i'd give almost anything to wake up tomorrow and be the bassist of against me! (even though i haven't earned it in anyway and don't know how to play bass anyways so that would be completely ridiculous and unfair). but that's just cuz i haven't done that yet. he has. he's accomplished this great thing and now he's my age and it's time to move on to the next thing.

and i'm not trying to say i haven't accomplished anything. but i haven't been a member of against me! i haven't been a member of against me! for so long that it's time for me to move on and do other things. the idea seems crazy to me. i'd like to stumble into my first life experience that's somehow equal to the against me! experience. but i can't. andrew seward probably made crazy sacrifices early in life. i didn't. i played it safe and as a result i have a very stable life that is nothing at all like being in a rock band. the end result being that me and andrew seward chose very different paths in life and because of that, we both have a completely different list of 'what's next in life' options.

that's all. 33. i made it. here's to 33 more... and maybe 33 more after that.

hope in a world shared with the westboro baptist church

this in no way is a defense of the westboro baptist church (wbc). what they believe and what they do are deplorable on levels much deeper than most any other person or organization could ever attempt to reach. all i ever hear in reference to the wbc is negative. i never hear of anyone supporting them. they just seem to be this self sufficient organization of hate that doesn't need outside support to keep going.

it's this shared disdain that everyone else has for the wbc that gives me hope. i don't think anything's been disliked this unanimously since adolph hitler and nazis. we all have different points of view, especially when it comes to morality and ethics. there's a whole lot we all disagree upon. but no one seems to disagree about this, the wbc is awful and stupid. and if we can all agree upon that, then maybe humanity does stand some semblance of a chance of getting along. no matter where we go or what we do, we all know that whoever we encounter along the way almost assuredly thinks the wbc sucks.

and i think the wbc helps in other ways that they haven't intended. as they run around pulling stunts like protesting the funerals of dead soldiers, cuz y'know... gay people, it's getting harder and harder to be homophobic. what, you don't like gay people? that's so wbc! if you take a good look at yourself and can honestly see similarities between you and the wbc, that should be as good a wake up call as any to snap out of it and be the better person you know you can be (some children have grown up in the church only to grow up, leave the church, and condemn it publicly).

when it comes to prejudice, sometimes all we need is for some ridiculous group of douchebags to congregate waaaaay out in the spotlight for all the world to see so we can all point and laugh. and then once the laughter has settled down, maybe we can share a realization that the prejudices this group symbolizes are irrational, unintelligent, and all sorts of ugly. and who would willingly wanna invest their mind and/or heart into a thing like that? in the end, i hope we take a good shared look at the wbc and decide it's time to evolve and leave the weak mind frame it takes to be part of such stupidity dead in the past, never to take human form again.