i won't blog about work

i'll never blog about work. no matter what happens, how funny, how traumatic, how awesome, or how tragic... work related junk will never make it to my blog.

it's not that i hate my job. in fact, it's almost the exact opposite. the thing is, i like having a job. it's my bread and butter and it helps to keep clothes on my back, my belly full, and the bills paid. it's a pretty sweet deal and i don't wanna fuck that up.

i don't wanna slip and write something that's in conflict of interest with my employment. maybe i'll slip a slur against a boss or co-worker (i love you guys, all of you, yes even the smelly one!!!). maybe i'll say something proprietary or complain about something i shouldn't. i don't think many important people at my job read my blog, but hey, you never know. if i was them, i'd read it. gotta be more interesting than boring corporate memos.

it's too bad. i got a ton of great work related shit to write about. oh well, guess you'll never know..... unless..... well, the only way i could blog about work is if you all make me really, really famous! then i can be rich, quit my job, and write a tell all book that i could sell for the low, low price of $45.99.


*in case i do get famous, don't hold me to the whole writing a book thing. i'm way too lazy for that.

**however, if i do get famous, here's 3 promises you can hold me to:

-i'll live somewhere warm all the time
-my place will be cleaner cuz i'll pay someone to clean it
-i still won't dress fancy-like

***i did a spell check and didn't mess up proprietary. go me.

unsung heroes (fireman ed on my shoulders)

this is fireman ed:







he's sorta a big deal in jets nation. he's the #1 fan and a real life mascot for the new york jets. whenever you watch a game and you hear the "J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS!!!" chant, it's fireman ed who's leading the charge. if you go to the games, you'll see him on the big screen, his bald, screaming face up close and personal for thousands of fans to see.

this dude gets tons of exposure. he's famous among jets fans and football fans in general. love him or hate him, his name is known. he's probably the world's most famous sports fan.

at every game, to help be seen, fireman ed sits atop the shoulders of another man. a man who's name i don't know and never heard. a man who's never been referred to by name. he's just the dude who carries fireman ed on his shoulders. he is an unsung hero.

i went to the jets pep rally in the middle of times square last week. and fireman ed got to give a speech! that's right! a fan!! a fan got to give a speech in the middle of the world, times square, new york!!! he was giving a speech alongside the likes of mayor bloomberg, gov. paterson, leon washington, and maybe the greatest jets player of all time, curtis martin.

he got the opening slot to get the crowd going. when they introduced him, he was carried up a flight of stairs onto the stage by who else but our nameless, unsung hero. he walked fireman ed up the stairs on his shoulders and fireman ed stayed on this dude's shoulder for his whole speech (probably like 3-4 minutes). but imagine looking out at a crowd dying to give fireman ed their undying adoration as they scream "J-E-T-S!!" back at that stage. and there he is, quiet and humble, never saying a word.

this one's for you, dude who carries fireman ed on your shoulder. i don't know anything about you. but without you, fireman ed would just be another big mouthed fan in the crowd. it's you who helps him rise above the masses and be seen. you are truly an unsung hero.

shameless self promotion

i just set up a wireless network in my house for my new net book i got for my birthday. i needed to come up with a name for my network. i wanted it to be something that sounds or seems semi-interesting. all the other networks i saw out there had boring names and i wanted to add something animated to the blah landscape. for the most part everyone else named their networks with their own name or the last name of their family (the one exception was GOSTEELERS... whatever front runner). YOU'RE ALL BORING!!! put a little thought and creativity into it!

being the shameless self promoter that i tend to be at times, i chose to name my wireless network after my blogspot. so when you see my network, you'll see:

GOTOJOSHAINTFUNNYBLOGSPOTCOM

unfortunately i couldn't put "." in between the words, so it's just one big, jumbled up, run on word... but i think people will get the picture. i'm sure this form of self promotion will send the traffic over to my blogspot in hordes. i can't wait! i'm sure i'll see witty comments like:

"HEY! UNLOCK YOUR NETWORK SO I CAN STEAL SOME OF YOUR BANDWIDTH DOUCHE BAG!"

or

"YOUR WIRELESS NETWORK NAME BLOWS!"

y'know, top notch literature in the form of internet blurbs.

in closing, i feel like i did an excellent job in naming my wireless network. let's hope i'm still this good if i ever have to name children (some of my current ideas for child names include Ninja, Robot, and Boxtrotriotfest).


ps- i can't afford a billboard......

pps- i am accepting donations for the whole billboard thing, which i will probably end up spending on booze! either way, it's a good cause, so loosen up them pockets tight wad!)

ppps- i'll try to never use a ppps in any of my blogs ever again.