i hope i don't get fired for this post

let's say there was this company that you worked for. and you've been there for years. you've worked in a 4 person dept and the lineup hasn't changed in years... at least 5 or 6. and then one day you walk into work to find out that they're getting rid of 2 people, including your boss, because they have to make cutbacks. you still have a job. should you have gratitude?

i imagine you'd find it increasingly harder to take your job serious. i mean, you can bust your ass all you want, but if cutbacks need to be made again, it's obvious all that hard work doesn't mean much. you could be out just as soon as those other 2 who were just here a minute ago. and now you gotta answer to your old boss's manager and pretend that you really wanna fill in the gaps that will now be missing with 2 men down. but you really don't, right? why would you? succeeding in doing that will only make it look like they were justified in laying off your former teammates and you know for sure they weren't.

and then you'll think about your ex-coworkers. what it's like to be them right now. jobless. you hope they're okay. and then you feel bad. you like these 2 people and you don't wanna think about them in a struggle. and you're now at your job which is the same place that is responsible for putting those 2 people in a shitty position in the first place. and it's gonna be assumed that you'll just smile and move on and try real hard from here on out to be the best employee you can be. but it all feels like bullshit.

you'll deal with vendors and coworkers from other dept's who really don't care all that much that your buddies are gone. that you like them as human beings. that you miss them being there. they'll demand of you whatever it is they demanded of the whole dept a week and a half ago before this all happened. and you'll wanna scream and throw stuff at walls. and a part of you will think that's a good plan, cuz fuck this place, right?

because seriously, fuck this place. this place has just proven that your loyalty and hard work might end in a box to carry your personal belongings to your car. you're pissed. you'll walk into the office everyday waiting for upper management to admit they made a mistake, turn back time, and bring it back to how it was when you still sorta liked your job. they'll want you to forgive them. yea, any day now.

and you like security and comfort. and your job provides both of those for the moment. and you know that if you do something too crazy, it might be the end of all that. and as much as you wanna be the badass who doesn't give a fuck anymore, you can't help but just give a bit of a fuck. and you don't know why because fuck these people, right? and you'll feel like a bit of a sellout. you're trading in your time to come to a place that no longer meets your standards.