who's super bowl is it?

where is this super bowl being held? if you look at a map and follow some basic rules of geography, it's not hard to determine that the actual game, the super bowl itself, will be in east rutherford, new jersey. and that sorta pisses some new yorkers off... cuz let's face it, if it wasn't for new york city, there'd be no super bowl in this area. nfl does their best to placate both sides by calling it the ny/nj super bowl but that never seems to satisfy anyone, because sharing is stupid.

i think the tribes should unite on this one. i don't think one gets the super bowl without the other and both sides own claim to it. even though it's not in new york city or state, the game will be played in the shadow of the towering skyline of manhattan. it can't be ignored. this is jersey's turf, but new york city hovers over it like a high roller at a craps table. that craps table belongs to the casino, but the current game, that belongs to the high roller. it don't happen without his money.

new york city is the money, the juice, the influence, the muscle. new york city made this happen. new york city just doesn't have a stadium of its own to have a game of this magnitude in. for years the state of new jersey has allowed two professional nfl teams to play here and refer to themselves as 'new york' teams. sure, that sucks... but we kinda let that standard become cemented over time. if you ever wanted to hoot, holler, or get your pitchforks and torches out, you should've done it some time ago. and even if you did, much like the super bowl, if new york city doesn't loom so near, is new jersey able to pull off the only stadium that hosts two nfl teams? 

and new york city, you need to get over yourself. new jersey's here. we're your neighbor. you play your football games on our dirt. show a little respect. you can't hog all the glory. that's just fucking rude. why can't you move over and share just a little bit of that spotlight with your ol' good neighbor, new jersey? if you're the best city in the world, prove it and be better than that. don't lay all the claim to a game that doesn't even take place within your state lines. new jersey knows without you, this isn't possible, but we still open our doors and deliver the hospitality. new york city, don't be a dick about this.

it's time to stop bickering and arguing over who owns this super bowl. it's time to share. new york city and new jersey need each other on this one. this isn't a competition. it's an event... one of the biggest shared experiences in this country. no one owns the super bowl. it's become so big, it's turned into an idea or a thing beyond words. it's not just a game or a day or even a weekend. and while new york city and new jersey belly ache over who gets to say it's "their game," millions will tune in from around the world. and the game's not possible without that. this game is as much theirs as it is yours and mine and peyton manning's. stop watering down the experience. hug it out and enjoy the show.

nirvana as a gateway drug

preface:  why am i writing about nirvana? hasn't enough been written? i don't know for certain and probably. if you read my blog a lot, and i'm assuming you don't, i write about nirvana and kurt cobain probably more than anything else. i'm just a really big fan. maybe it's because they're gonna be inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame this year. or maybe it's because i was sitting around the apartment and decided to give nirvana 'unplugged,' a spin. actually, that was probably it. so here it is, 'nirvana as a gateway drug.'

before nirvana, i didn't have excellent musical taste (i guess my current musical taste is still debatable but it's better than it was pre-nirvana by leaps and bounds). before nirvana, i owned cassettes by motley crue, poison, mc hammer, kriss kross, and vanilla ice. i was a musical mess. i don't even know what i was trying to get out of music back then. and then nirvana happened. everyone knows the story, right? video for, 'smells like teen spirit,' hits mtv. music world gets thrown into a frenzy. glam rock dies. michael jackson's career is never the same.

nirvana changed everything. i'm not sure why universally. i can only speak for myself. from my perspective, nirvana was like a first drug experience... not in a negative way. it's just like that first time you get high off of something and it hits your brain and you feel like you've never felt before and you don't know how to exactly describe it but everything's changed. after nirvana, my musical tastes changed drastically. i wanted to know about bands like nirvana. i wanted to know about bands that influenced nirvana. i started looking at my mom's record collection that included a lot of really good classic rock and thinking, 'holy shit, my mom's been cooler than me all along.' and just like that vanilla ice never got another spin on my boombox. that shit was for the squares, man.

like a pothead who's moved on to bigger and better things, i'll always look back on the first bag, the first drag, the first circle of friends where i learned that, 'puff, puff, pass,' was the rule... the first time i combined a case of the munchies with ice cream and my brain almost exploded in euphoria. that was nirvana. i just didn't know anything like that was out there before then. and ever since, i've been chasing the dragon looking for my next fix, eagerly anticipating the next time i'll press play and my soul gets shook down to its core.

right band, right time

i had once been told that i got into the band, against me!, ten years too late. true, i only became a fan after the album, 'white crosses.' by then they had found their core audience, made some epic albums, toured the world, and made some dynamic changes in their sound. this would definitely be a band that i wouldn't get in on the ground floor on. i'm not sure why or how i never found my way to this band until i did, but in many ways i'm glad i showed up late to the 'against me!' party.

i had seen against me! some years back at terminal 5 in new york city. i went without knowing anything of this band. all i knew was that my friend matt thought they were fucking awesome. i had a good time and the seed was possibly planted that night. but even with them right there in my face, i didn't instantly become the vociferous fan i am today. i don't think i even went home and youtube'd them. a part of me felt out of place that night. it's always tough to wanna sing along but you can't because you don't know any of the words.

around age 28, i was starting to become set in my lazy ways. i'm not a fan of classifications but if i could be nailed into one grouping at age 28, it'd be couch potato, pure and simple. everything about my life was rotated around a tv watching schedule. i also drank... a lot. i don't know if i was officially depressed but i felt sad a lot and i was definitely stagnant and in no hurry to try and do anything about it. i think the constant head buzzes kept me distracted from my sad life.

and then one day i got up and ran. i think i saw my exceeding beer gut as a sign of trouble ahead. i was lazily stumbling into a lifestyle and a future i had no interest in. so i found the best running gear i had available and tried my best to run around a lake at a park by my place. it was pitiful. i couldn't even make it all the way around without stopping four or five times. but i did it. i made it around once and i vowed to go back.

and i kept going back. some weeks i'd hit the park 2-3 times.... but as time went on, i found myself upping it to 4-5, sometimes 6 times a week. and i needed music. music kept me going. it was during this time that i downloaded against me's complete discography (i downloaded it for free, sorry AM!, i owe you guys and constantly buy tickets and merch at any/all of your shows), and started listening to against me! on my runs. and it worked. it was the right sound that kept me going. it made me wanna run. i enjoyed the albums so much, i just wanted to get out and dig into them more. soon running became my favorite way to take in music. there was nothing else to concentrate on except myself and the sound. it was (and still is) beautiful.

years have passed. i've grown to love a certain amount of bands and definitely have a specific attachment between certain bands and running (in particular: atmosphere, the bronx, h2o, rancid, opivy, bouncing souls, and minor threat). but none of these bands have ever hit home quite like against me! does. they're the soundtrack of my revival. i feel like a different and more awesome person today. running had a lot to do with that. the music i started listening to also plays a major part.

my attitude on a lot of different things in life has changed dramatically. i'm more aware of what i want out of life and i'm more actively chasing dreams and trying to accomplish goals. i read and write more. i watch way less tv. i drink less. i eat better. i feel better. i fucking care. that may be the biggest difference. at age 28, i had hit my peak level of not giving a fuck, to a point where i was starting to not give a fuck about myself or my life. but now i do give a fuck. a part of me was awakened and i'm so much more alive because of it. when the alarm went off, i'm pretty sure it was against me!'s, 'walking is still honest,' that finally forced me out of my dismal cocoon.

i'm going to see against me! live the next two nights of my life. to say i'm stoked is an understatement.

making you think you're crazy is a billion dollar industry

whenever you're feeling odd or out of place or the world's got you thinking there's something wrong with you, just remember that there's a whole lot of people that make a whole lot of money off of that notion. the more people feel like they don't fit in to the point that they seek some kind of help, guidance, or material possession for it, the richer some people get. they're selling you your own inadequacies for their own personal gain.

so fuck 'em over and be weird or odd or strange or whatever you are. just be you. don't let them furnish homes off your insecurities. it's not you that's out of place. it's this idea of a mythical place that all these companies try to build in your head to make you feel like you don't belong. it's not real. the only thing you don't fit into is their illusion. it's a scam.

look, you might be crazy. maybe all human beings are crazy. we're a crazy fucking species. there's no reason to feel like you're the only one who's feeling like that. if we all just stopped for a second and realized that feeling out of place is a pretty common feeling, maybe we could break out of this molding that they've tried to keep us inside of with advertising, drugs, and manipulation.

drugs and dressing like everyone else and self help books on how to fit in will not make you normal. it'll make you less you. it'll rob you of whatever it is that makes you unique, makes you awesome. they don't want to fix you. they don't care about your self esteem or your well being. all they care about is your money. they're wrong about you and hopefully one day we'll all understand that and watch as their castles made of sand crumble.

(the title of this blog post is a sage francis lyric)

and this bird you cannot change with a new year's resolution

for new years we come up with resolutions to better ourselves. on christmas we're expected to be nicer to one another. on thanksgiving we're supposed to show gratitude for things. i suppose next they'll expect us to be more loving to our significant others on valentine's day. with all these holidays imposing on us what to do, when do we ever have a chance to just be who we are?

are we all horrible people in need of several days a year to remind us to try and be better than what we actually are? maybe we're chasing something that's not possible. maybe we're all just looking for ways to hide who we really are... which might help explain some of the popularity of halloween (although i'm sure candy and slutty costumes factor in there somewhere).

i think it's great that tons of people resolve to better themselves this time of year. but i can't help but feel like a good portion of it is totally insincere. it feels like some of this may be a case of mob mentality. if everyone else wasn't doing it, would you? or would you allow today to be like any other day because technically that's all it is... just another day. we put labels on the days and we try to fill them with this imaginary sense of worth but if you strip the titles away from the holidays, it's just another 24 hour period.

if you're feeling the spirit, then by all means, go be a better person and go love your girlfriend more and be a patriot and remember the veterans and do all these things that these "special" days remind us to do. but maybe do them everyday... or maybe don't do them at all. allow yourself to make today whatever day you want it to be. don't let the calender bully you into wasting a day acting how you don't wanna act. if you're a horrible person (or a great human being who's in need of no improvement whatsoever) and you know it and you know that this bird you cannot change, then fly on freebird and do your thing. define your day, don't let it define you.