monday through friday, i run on a treadmill. i do it during lunchtime at the gym downstairs from my office. i have free gym access and it's really convenient. running for lunch means one less thing i have to do when i get out of work. so when i get home, i don't have the task of a daily run staring me down. i used to do other things during lunch but now i wonder how i ever filled an hour of free time in between the work day so well. it's also nice that on most days, there's not too many people in the gym. for the most part, i like running and exercising alone.
however, the grind of running in place on a treadmill everyday can become a little monotonous. and when the weekend rolls around, i usually run in the park near my house... and it's awesome. i feel like an animal suddenly uncaged and back out into the wild. there's fresh air (well, as fresh as the fine state of new jersey can provide), people, and actual distance being made with each thrust of my legs. there's stuff to look at... trees, a lake, geese, ducks, dogs, and all other sorts of stuff that a gym at the office just can't provide. if i could only run one certain way, on a treadmill or outdoors, for the rest of my life, i'd choose outdoors by a landslide margin.
when i started running, i used to run outdoors a lot more. i'd run after work. but i didn't run as often. the wear and tear of the average work day would beat me into submission and so many days i'd decide to sit on my ass and run the next day. when i started running at lunch, i ran out of excuses. i had the time. there's really nothing better i could be doing with that time either. the gym's right downstairs.... it was easier to not give in to not running. so a new tradition was born. this may be one of my bigger phases of progression in my experiences with running. suddenly i was stringing 5, 6, sometimes 7 days of running in a row... something i'd hardly ever done before then.
so while running indoors on a treadmill seems like the lamer option of the two, it has its advantages and i totally believe it's made me a better, more consistent, and more dedicated runner. also, it's pretty awesome to plug in the headphones and blast music and find something productive to do with some of my work related aggression. if i'm having a bad day at work, it's usually a whole lot better once my lunch time run is over.
but there'll always be a lot more joy and anticipation for the outdoor runs. there's so much going on when i'm running outdoors. it feels more natural. i feel more in tune with myself and my surroundings. i usually run way longer distances on the weekend than i do during lunchtime at work so it makes it feel like more of an event. and with an outdoor run, you're never exactly sure what you're gonna get. the weather's always changing and i just keep running through it all, t-shirt and shorts in the summer, hoodie and hat in the winter.
it's fall right now and i'm convinced fall is the best season for runners. summer runs can be so grueling. a lot of times when i'm running in the 90 degree heat, i think to myself, "fall's coming soon enough. it won't always be like this." outdoor fall runs are probably the best runs of the year. so if there was ever a time to embrace running outside, off the treadmill and free, it's right now.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
my mitt romney endorsement
this is it... my pre-election endorsement blog. and i endorse...... mitt romney!
why would i, a, 'leans so far to the left it sometimes looks like socialism,' kinda guy endorse a candidate like mitt romney? cuz america probably deserves mitt romney. apparently a large portion of the country doesn't remember the eight year donkey punching delivered to us by the george w. bush administration. him and his cronies fucked us senseless, threw us in a ditch, and ran away laughing. we probably deserve another go around just to refresh our memories.
when i see mitt romney, i see another george w. bush. scratch that, i see someone a lot worse than george w. bush. bush at least seems like the kinda dude that could sit down in a texas bar and talk some football over a coors light draft. mitt romney is a class a douchebag. if the election were a douchebag contest, this whole thing would've been wrapped up a long time ago. when it comes to douchebaggery, romney might be the undisputed champion of the world... and i like champions.
he hates women and doesn't want them to have any options when it comes to pregnancy. he's pro life and thinks everyone else should be too. cuz that's what freedom's all about... forcing your views on important matters down america's throat.
he thinks corporations are people which is great cuz corporate money is probably behind everything that is bad and wrong in this country. it's hard enough keeping the corporations out of politics (we're failing miserably at it) and keeping america from falling into a state of complete oligarchy.... mitt romney would come in on day one and offer an open door policy. bribes no longer needed to be slid under the table, in mitt's america, that's just the free market doing its thing. USA! USA! USA!
he probably thinks corporations are more human than gay people. i'd imagine him supporting a law allowing corporations to get married way before he ever supports gay marriage. who knows? maybe with a little luck he can bring us back to the days of 'don't ask, don't tell.' remember when homophobia was cool? mitt romney's bringing it back cuz he's old school like that.
he won't increase taxes on the rich cuz he's gotta watch out for his own kind and the people who pad his pockets. it's not people like me who show up at his $50,000 a plate, 47% of america bashing dinners. someone's gotta pay the piper. but hey, that's alright middle class americans. this is a sacrifice you should be willing to make. it'll pay off. trickle down economics always has, right?? (i wonder how 'joe the plumber' feels about all this).
president obama promised us hope and change. and then he found himself in the biggest recession since the great depression. and although he did things to make sure it didn't get worse, he didn't fix everything. you had four years? why isn't everything pristine and perfect? how much longer can we wait? we've been trying so hard not to pollute and go green.... but if it isn't gonna fix everything in four years, why should we continue doing this? obviously we're better off polluting the skies and destroying our resources. god's got our back anyways. it's all gonna be alright as long as we don't let the gays get married... we all know how much that angers the man upstairs.
so on election day, do the right thing. vote romney/ryan (don't forget paul ryan! he runs marathons which makes him way more qualified than sarah palin cuz he at least knows how to finish what he started).
why would i, a, 'leans so far to the left it sometimes looks like socialism,' kinda guy endorse a candidate like mitt romney? cuz america probably deserves mitt romney. apparently a large portion of the country doesn't remember the eight year donkey punching delivered to us by the george w. bush administration. him and his cronies fucked us senseless, threw us in a ditch, and ran away laughing. we probably deserve another go around just to refresh our memories.
when i see mitt romney, i see another george w. bush. scratch that, i see someone a lot worse than george w. bush. bush at least seems like the kinda dude that could sit down in a texas bar and talk some football over a coors light draft. mitt romney is a class a douchebag. if the election were a douchebag contest, this whole thing would've been wrapped up a long time ago. when it comes to douchebaggery, romney might be the undisputed champion of the world... and i like champions.
he hates women and doesn't want them to have any options when it comes to pregnancy. he's pro life and thinks everyone else should be too. cuz that's what freedom's all about... forcing your views on important matters down america's throat.
he thinks corporations are people which is great cuz corporate money is probably behind everything that is bad and wrong in this country. it's hard enough keeping the corporations out of politics (we're failing miserably at it) and keeping america from falling into a state of complete oligarchy.... mitt romney would come in on day one and offer an open door policy. bribes no longer needed to be slid under the table, in mitt's america, that's just the free market doing its thing. USA! USA! USA!
he probably thinks corporations are more human than gay people. i'd imagine him supporting a law allowing corporations to get married way before he ever supports gay marriage. who knows? maybe with a little luck he can bring us back to the days of 'don't ask, don't tell.' remember when homophobia was cool? mitt romney's bringing it back cuz he's old school like that.
he won't increase taxes on the rich cuz he's gotta watch out for his own kind and the people who pad his pockets. it's not people like me who show up at his $50,000 a plate, 47% of america bashing dinners. someone's gotta pay the piper. but hey, that's alright middle class americans. this is a sacrifice you should be willing to make. it'll pay off. trickle down economics always has, right?? (i wonder how 'joe the plumber' feels about all this).
president obama promised us hope and change. and then he found himself in the biggest recession since the great depression. and although he did things to make sure it didn't get worse, he didn't fix everything. you had four years? why isn't everything pristine and perfect? how much longer can we wait? we've been trying so hard not to pollute and go green.... but if it isn't gonna fix everything in four years, why should we continue doing this? obviously we're better off polluting the skies and destroying our resources. god's got our back anyways. it's all gonna be alright as long as we don't let the gays get married... we all know how much that angers the man upstairs.
so on election day, do the right thing. vote romney/ryan (don't forget paul ryan! he runs marathons which makes him way more qualified than sarah palin cuz he at least knows how to finish what he started).
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
i am a pro wrestling dork
i should've probably wrote this a long time ago.
i am a pro wrestling dork. i watch wwe events on television. i have for most of my life (except for that period of time when i first moved out from my mom's place and couldn't afford cable. then once i got cable, i had sorta forgotten about wrestling... but sure enough, with enough channel surfing on a bored monday night, there it was like it's always been. and it sucked me right back in).
so why write about this now? i just need to just get it out there. i'm not ashamed or embarrassed but i do realize that not a whole lot of people out there are watching wrestling (they're probably watching quality programming like, 'jersey shore,' honey boo boo,' or anything with a kardashian in it). pro wrestling doesn't exactly make for common water cooler talk at work the next day. plus, i can never escape the fact that it is pretty much dudes pretending to kick the shit out of each other in their underwear. and when you put it in that context, it sounds absolutely ridiculous.
and it is absolutely ridiculous. it's as ridiculous as comic books and reality television. in fact, it's almost a combo of the two.... if you combined them in this odd world of soap opera-esque bad acting. once you get past the idea that it's all staged, you're left with the story. and most of the time it's as simple as them telling you, "this is the good guy. you root for him. he fights the bad guy," classic good vs. evil type stuff. though as of late, they have done a decent job of blurring the lines a bit. i, like many wrestling fans in my age group, tend to gravitate towards rooting for bad guys (we wrestling dorks call them heels).
and ok, so the fights are staged and the decisions are predetermined. but what these dudes are doing is pretty real. there's injuries, a shitload of injuries. there's wear and tear and bumps, bruises and lacerations. they're touring all around the world all year round, wrestling doesn't have an off season. it's high pressure... performing your craft in front of thousands of people at a time and millions watching at home... knowing there's thousands of wrestling wannabes that wanna be you... and if you slip up and start to suck, they just might get the chance. so better make it look good in the squared circle (and yes, by 'it' i mean, better make two guys fighting in their underwear look good... good enough to make thousands of fans scream and holler. you try doing anything in your underwear in front of thousands of people).
i went to see monday night raw last night, live at the izod center. and what i realized is there's a shitload of people who are fans like me. wrestling has it's own odd, not-so-mainstream audience. the fanaticism makes the atmosphere feel like an odd mix of sporting events and star trek conventions. there's posters and shirts and a crowd divided by who to root for. there's people dressed up like hulk hogan and the macho man randy savage... and those dudes came to throw on a show of their own (seriously, the two of them were in the middle of an aisle showboating and receiving a legit amount of cheers and chants from the fans around them).
before last night, i was all alone on mondays. just me and monday night raw on the tv, like it was some odd secret life i was leading. but no more. now i realize not only am i not alone, but i have a common interest with a crowd of unique, fun loving maniacs. and if you don't get it, i get that you don't get it. it's not for everyone. we're all guilty of liking something that's not liked by others. pro wrestling happens to be my odd thing.
wrestlemania is coming around to metlife stadium (15 minutes away from me) in april. tickets go on sale november 10th. i fully intend to be at wrestlemania, with a poster in hand, screaming my head off and beholding one of the greatest spectacles there is to behold in the world of staged underwear fighting soap operas. and i can't fucking wait!
i am a pro wrestling dork. i watch wwe events on television. i have for most of my life (except for that period of time when i first moved out from my mom's place and couldn't afford cable. then once i got cable, i had sorta forgotten about wrestling... but sure enough, with enough channel surfing on a bored monday night, there it was like it's always been. and it sucked me right back in).
so why write about this now? i just need to just get it out there. i'm not ashamed or embarrassed but i do realize that not a whole lot of people out there are watching wrestling (they're probably watching quality programming like, 'jersey shore,' honey boo boo,' or anything with a kardashian in it). pro wrestling doesn't exactly make for common water cooler talk at work the next day. plus, i can never escape the fact that it is pretty much dudes pretending to kick the shit out of each other in their underwear. and when you put it in that context, it sounds absolutely ridiculous.
and it is absolutely ridiculous. it's as ridiculous as comic books and reality television. in fact, it's almost a combo of the two.... if you combined them in this odd world of soap opera-esque bad acting. once you get past the idea that it's all staged, you're left with the story. and most of the time it's as simple as them telling you, "this is the good guy. you root for him. he fights the bad guy," classic good vs. evil type stuff. though as of late, they have done a decent job of blurring the lines a bit. i, like many wrestling fans in my age group, tend to gravitate towards rooting for bad guys (we wrestling dorks call them heels).
and ok, so the fights are staged and the decisions are predetermined. but what these dudes are doing is pretty real. there's injuries, a shitload of injuries. there's wear and tear and bumps, bruises and lacerations. they're touring all around the world all year round, wrestling doesn't have an off season. it's high pressure... performing your craft in front of thousands of people at a time and millions watching at home... knowing there's thousands of wrestling wannabes that wanna be you... and if you slip up and start to suck, they just might get the chance. so better make it look good in the squared circle (and yes, by 'it' i mean, better make two guys fighting in their underwear look good... good enough to make thousands of fans scream and holler. you try doing anything in your underwear in front of thousands of people).
i went to see monday night raw last night, live at the izod center. and what i realized is there's a shitload of people who are fans like me. wrestling has it's own odd, not-so-mainstream audience. the fanaticism makes the atmosphere feel like an odd mix of sporting events and star trek conventions. there's posters and shirts and a crowd divided by who to root for. there's people dressed up like hulk hogan and the macho man randy savage... and those dudes came to throw on a show of their own (seriously, the two of them were in the middle of an aisle showboating and receiving a legit amount of cheers and chants from the fans around them).
before last night, i was all alone on mondays. just me and monday night raw on the tv, like it was some odd secret life i was leading. but no more. now i realize not only am i not alone, but i have a common interest with a crowd of unique, fun loving maniacs. and if you don't get it, i get that you don't get it. it's not for everyone. we're all guilty of liking something that's not liked by others. pro wrestling happens to be my odd thing.
wrestlemania is coming around to metlife stadium (15 minutes away from me) in april. tickets go on sale november 10th. i fully intend to be at wrestlemania, with a poster in hand, screaming my head off and beholding one of the greatest spectacles there is to behold in the world of staged underwear fighting soap operas. and i can't fucking wait!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
suck it yankee fans
yankee fans, you are the worst. you're spoiled and bratty. your team makes it to the playoffs every year and you still find something to complain about. you have more world series championships than any other team (by a long shot at that), which has obviously only added to your obscene sense of entitlement. this whole 'championship or bust,' philosophy is a crock and makes you unbearable to be around during baseball season, which last time i checked, lasts practically all year.
just recently your own team turned on you. ny media reported that anonymous players on the yankee squad were mad at the fans for booing them. can't you see yankee fans? you're so unbearable, not even your own team likes you. (not that i'm defending a professional athlete blaming fans for their poor performance. that's some cry baby bullshit. those fans paid good money to see millionaires hit baseballs. when the millionaires failed them, they had all the right in the world to boo them.)
i just can't see how anyone can feel good about rooting for the yankees. to paraphrase stand up comedian doug stanhope, rooting for the yankees is like rooting for the house at a blackjack table in a casino. you're rooting for the dealer cuz the cards are stacked against everyone else. the dealer and the yankees have one major thing in common, they'll always win more than anyone else.
if you're a yankee fan, i suppose you can be proud of all that winning. but doesn't it get boring to root for the team that's destined to always have more championships than everyone else? how do you find the passion to complain when things get tough? try rooting for another team... which millions of other fans do all the time. spend a season waving a pittsburgh pirate flag around... you'll run back in a year apologizing to a-rod for all the mean things you said about him.
when you look around and see the rest of the baseball universe grinning at your recent playoff collapse, you have to understand... for everyone else except for you, watching the yankees lose is like watching that one asshole boss of yours get slapped around in a boxing ring. and much like that asshole boss, the yankees are also out of touch. there's nothing cool or edgy about them. they're not even allowed to have facial hair.
in conclusion:
fuck the yankees,
fuck asshole yankee fans (some of you are cool, but you're the tiniest of minorities),
aaaaaaaaaaaaand motherfuck baseball in general. seriously. this is the most i've ever written about baseball, a sport i despise. i'm gonna go take a shower now cuz i feel dirty, awful, and full of shame.
just recently your own team turned on you. ny media reported that anonymous players on the yankee squad were mad at the fans for booing them. can't you see yankee fans? you're so unbearable, not even your own team likes you. (not that i'm defending a professional athlete blaming fans for their poor performance. that's some cry baby bullshit. those fans paid good money to see millionaires hit baseballs. when the millionaires failed them, they had all the right in the world to boo them.)
i just can't see how anyone can feel good about rooting for the yankees. to paraphrase stand up comedian doug stanhope, rooting for the yankees is like rooting for the house at a blackjack table in a casino. you're rooting for the dealer cuz the cards are stacked against everyone else. the dealer and the yankees have one major thing in common, they'll always win more than anyone else.
if you're a yankee fan, i suppose you can be proud of all that winning. but doesn't it get boring to root for the team that's destined to always have more championships than everyone else? how do you find the passion to complain when things get tough? try rooting for another team... which millions of other fans do all the time. spend a season waving a pittsburgh pirate flag around... you'll run back in a year apologizing to a-rod for all the mean things you said about him.
when you look around and see the rest of the baseball universe grinning at your recent playoff collapse, you have to understand... for everyone else except for you, watching the yankees lose is like watching that one asshole boss of yours get slapped around in a boxing ring. and much like that asshole boss, the yankees are also out of touch. there's nothing cool or edgy about them. they're not even allowed to have facial hair.
in conclusion:
fuck the yankees,
fuck asshole yankee fans (some of you are cool, but you're the tiniest of minorities),
aaaaaaaaaaaaand motherfuck baseball in general. seriously. this is the most i've ever written about baseball, a sport i despise. i'm gonna go take a shower now cuz i feel dirty, awful, and full of shame.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
a dude jumped from outer space
did you see that? this past sunday? a dude, no... not just a dude... felix baumgartner is his name, jumped to the earth from damn near outer space. it was fucking insane! and i if you're reading this blog, then i assume you're internet savvy enough to have already seen this or at least know about it. so i'm not gonna dedicate this time to bore you with the details.. .which is good, cuz then i'd have to do some research. and any fan (okay, maybe not fan, more like any passive observer) of my writing knows how much i don't like research.
i didn't even know this was happening till right before it happened. i've heard it in passing over the past few months but i never really focused in on it. i never really took a minute to think about what was really happening here. but there i was on sunday, facebooking through the abundance of commercials during the jets game and there were tons of updates about watching this space jump. i quickly rushed through my channel guide and saw it was being televised on the discovery network. i actually switched from the jets game (big leap for me) to watch it.
what i saw was something so inspiring, so crazy, so exhilarating, so fucking amazing... and probably dangerous. this dude took his little pod to the very edge of our atmosphere... to the edge of outer space, to the ever so fragile line that divides earth from universe. if he'd have just done that, gone all the way up there in his little single person pod and come back down, i would have been amazed. but he didn't. he went all the way. he walked out of his pod in his spacesuit and right over the edge to make his epic descent back to the planet.
this dude fell and fell and fell.... free falling for multiple minutes and several thousand feet. seriously, during free fall, i was thinking, "isn't this guy gonna die?" hopefully he wasn't thinking that. i'm sure he had his plan and that plan ended with him living. but to see this individual falling in the sky.... all by himself, from outer space till the ground of the earth, it just blew me away. that's quite the landing. some space shuttles can't pull that off (not trying to be insensitive but i feel like the comparison gives it some perspective).
as he pulled a cable or pressed a button on his super suit, his big ol' red bull parachute filled the air and slowed him down so that he could complete his elegant descent back onto the earth. holy shit. holy fucking shit. i couldn't believe i just saw that. no frenzy of jets touchdowns could replace something so amazing. in a moment's notice, i had totally forgotten all about that dude who walked over niagra falls.
i'm just inspired that someone would choose to do this. shit ain't perfect and the world's a fucked up mess. but every now and again someone does something absolutely amazing to help restore just a bit of my faith in other people. i'm sure there's a payoff and a paycheck... but this isn't done without passion and without purpose. this dude's driven.
and i know a jump from outer space isn't gonna fix the world... but if we could all just pause for a second and let go of all our bullshit and just be in awe of a human being who wanted to stretch the limitations of what we consider to be possible, isn't there something redeeming in that? i'm not looking for a revolution of space jumpers to come plummeting to the earth. but look around... there's so many possibilities, so much that can be done. let's get to work people. felix is doing his part. go be amazing.
i didn't even know this was happening till right before it happened. i've heard it in passing over the past few months but i never really focused in on it. i never really took a minute to think about what was really happening here. but there i was on sunday, facebooking through the abundance of commercials during the jets game and there were tons of updates about watching this space jump. i quickly rushed through my channel guide and saw it was being televised on the discovery network. i actually switched from the jets game (big leap for me) to watch it.
what i saw was something so inspiring, so crazy, so exhilarating, so fucking amazing... and probably dangerous. this dude took his little pod to the very edge of our atmosphere... to the edge of outer space, to the ever so fragile line that divides earth from universe. if he'd have just done that, gone all the way up there in his little single person pod and come back down, i would have been amazed. but he didn't. he went all the way. he walked out of his pod in his spacesuit and right over the edge to make his epic descent back to the planet.
this dude fell and fell and fell.... free falling for multiple minutes and several thousand feet. seriously, during free fall, i was thinking, "isn't this guy gonna die?" hopefully he wasn't thinking that. i'm sure he had his plan and that plan ended with him living. but to see this individual falling in the sky.... all by himself, from outer space till the ground of the earth, it just blew me away. that's quite the landing. some space shuttles can't pull that off (not trying to be insensitive but i feel like the comparison gives it some perspective).
as he pulled a cable or pressed a button on his super suit, his big ol' red bull parachute filled the air and slowed him down so that he could complete his elegant descent back onto the earth. holy shit. holy fucking shit. i couldn't believe i just saw that. no frenzy of jets touchdowns could replace something so amazing. in a moment's notice, i had totally forgotten all about that dude who walked over niagra falls.
i'm just inspired that someone would choose to do this. shit ain't perfect and the world's a fucked up mess. but every now and again someone does something absolutely amazing to help restore just a bit of my faith in other people. i'm sure there's a payoff and a paycheck... but this isn't done without passion and without purpose. this dude's driven.
and i know a jump from outer space isn't gonna fix the world... but if we could all just pause for a second and let go of all our bullshit and just be in awe of a human being who wanted to stretch the limitations of what we consider to be possible, isn't there something redeeming in that? i'm not looking for a revolution of space jumpers to come plummeting to the earth. but look around... there's so many possibilities, so much that can be done. let's get to work people. felix is doing his part. go be amazing.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
reverend josh, stand up comedian
one week ago today, i officiated a wedding ceremony. i'm an ordained minister (i became ordained through the internet. go look up 'universal life church,' if you for any reason want more info on that sorta stuff. it's not a religion and i'm definitely not religious). it was the third wedding ceremony i officiated. not bad for a dude who thought it'd be fun as a goof to refer to myself as reverend josh.
officiating a marriage is definitely a cool experience. i can't help but notice certain similarities it shares with stand up comedy. the first and most obvious being that the more you do it, the better you get at it. no surprise there, practice makes perfect. this last marriage was also the most ceremonious one i've done so far. there was a reception, a bar, a dj, and caterers. people traveled from far places to be there. i felt more pressure than usual to be good (not bad pressure, like it wasn't panicky, anxiety like pressure. i just wanted to do a good job). because of that i prepped more this time around and spoke a whole lot more fancy words than in my previous two ceremonies.
the next similarity would be how i observe other weddings i go to. since my first marriage gig, i've never been able to go to other weddings and just enjoy the ceremony as it's happening. i'm mentally taking notes. i'm looking for positive things that i can take away from it so that i can be better for my next performance. sometimes i'm criticizing whoever it is that's doing the officiating. if something's not good, i'll say to myself, "i would never do that."
and i'm guilty of the same shit with stand up comedy. i can't watch stand up comedy and just chill back and enjoy it. i'm always taking notes. i'm always critiquing and comparing myself and looking for ways to observe others and take away aspects of performances that can help me become a better performer. with stand up, it's almost a little sucky that it has to be this way. i started doing stand up comedy cuz i was such a fan of it. before i ever tried it myself, i never watched stand up comedy with such scrutiny. i'm not gonna say the thrill is totally gone. i can still enjoy a good joke. but it's harder. and sometimes, especially with someone on the level of george carlin, i'll watch and think to myself, "why am i even trying to do this? he was so damn good, and i'm just not so damn good. i should just quit." i don't quit, but i guess it's sorta a bummer when the highest compliment i have now for stand up comedy is, "your shit's so good, it makes me wanna quit."
on a sorta unrelated but sorta related note, i'm glad i never followed through on rock and roll pipe dreams of picking up a guitar and learning how to play and writing songs and starting bands. i love music so much as a fan. and it's great that i know absolutely nothing about how to create music myself. the magic still exists. i don't know how easy or how hard it is to create certain songs... all i know is how much i love or dislike them. and i think it'd be the biggest bummer of all if my music listening experience was in any way altered from the way it is now.
the lesson here.... fuck rock and roll, go get ordained... and when you see me on the streets, tell me i should never quit stand up comedy.
thanks!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
happy national coming out day
today is 'national coming out day,' which i think is awesome. however, it feels a lot like mother's day to me... which is another holiday i also find to be awesome cuz my mom rules. so i'm more than happy to make that day about her. but my mom's a special kinda awesome, the kinda awesome that can't just be contained to a single day. i think my mom should be appreciated every day.
to me, 'coming out' is a shorter way of saying, 'i'm gonna be and love myself and let the world know about it.' i'm all for it. you should be yourself and love yourself for who you are. what bothers me though is that we live in a world where a shitload of people still feel bullied and pressured to repress and hide who they really are from everyone else. that's fucked up.
having a day dedicated to coming out to bring awareness to the cause is awesome. but it's also an acknowledgement of our past. the homophobic have been winning. but the tides are turning and i feel confident in saying that those who look down on the lgbt community are on the wrong side of history. that's why 'national coming out day,' is a great thing. it's a positive step in the right direction.
but i wait, speak, hope, and fight for a day when being yourself is never a big deal. no one should ever feel like they have to hide who they really are. being gay isn't wrong. condemning people for being gay is the real wrongdoing. those who try to force their heterosexual lifestyle onto the lgbt community are not only wrong, they're guilty of exhibiting fascist behavior. stop being fascists! just let people be people. seems so simple.
anyways, happy coming out day everybody. hopefully this time next year they'll have hallmark cards in cvs to mark the occasion.
to me, 'coming out' is a shorter way of saying, 'i'm gonna be and love myself and let the world know about it.' i'm all for it. you should be yourself and love yourself for who you are. what bothers me though is that we live in a world where a shitload of people still feel bullied and pressured to repress and hide who they really are from everyone else. that's fucked up.
having a day dedicated to coming out to bring awareness to the cause is awesome. but it's also an acknowledgement of our past. the homophobic have been winning. but the tides are turning and i feel confident in saying that those who look down on the lgbt community are on the wrong side of history. that's why 'national coming out day,' is a great thing. it's a positive step in the right direction.
but i wait, speak, hope, and fight for a day when being yourself is never a big deal. no one should ever feel like they have to hide who they really are. being gay isn't wrong. condemning people for being gay is the real wrongdoing. those who try to force their heterosexual lifestyle onto the lgbt community are not only wrong, they're guilty of exhibiting fascist behavior. stop being fascists! just let people be people. seems so simple.
anyways, happy coming out day everybody. hopefully this time next year they'll have hallmark cards in cvs to mark the occasion.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
just say what you're thinking
it's so hard to just say what you're thinking. hard for me, anyways. i've lived a good chunk of my life playing it safe and trying to offend the least amount of people as possible. i've tended to travel the road that had the highest probability of me coming out on the other end unscathed. most times if there was a thought in my head that i thought might offend, i've swallowed it and kept it to myself... figuring either no one is interested in what i got to say or even worse, someone will think negative of what it is i have to say.
the older i get, the less safe i play it, the more i find myself speaking my mind more openly. but the amount of time i speak my mind openly is still not sufficient for me. i still find myself in many situations where i hold on to my words cuz i don't wanna rock a boat that don't need rocking. it's not that i don't wanna say whatever it is that i'm thinking, i just don't wanna deal with the consequences. whenever i convince myself to not speak my mind, it's more a matter of convenience than anything else.
but that makes me sad. i feel like i keep sacrificing the greater good and the bigger picture for measly moments. and i keep telling myself that i'm gonna stop acting like that. that i'm gonna say what's on my mind and that i'm gonna follow through on my own convictions. cuz if i think something is right in my own heart, then i'm only being my own worst enemy when i deny myself the opportunity to follow through on that. i may avoid awkward or negative moments... but the price i pay is my own self respect.
i know this for certain... it's harder to speak your mind. it's harder to be honest with yourself by being honest with everyone else around you. the more i speak my mind, the more i open up, the more i tell myself i don't give a fuck what people think about me or what i think or say, the more resistance i get. my mantra as of late has been, "i don't give a fuck what they think." repeat it three times and speak:
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
but just the simple fact that i have to try and pump myself up let's me know that i have a long way to go. i wanna speak my mind like it's my natural instinct. i want to say what's on my mind like i have to use the bathroom. it comes out, nothing's stopping it, and when it's said and done, i feel like a better person for it. that's where i want to be. that's what i have my sights on.
but shit ain't easy. i'm sure i'll find myself being opened to more scrutiny and feedback and a lot of it will turn out to be negative. and that's a lot to face. it's tough to stay strong sometimes when it feels like the world is telling you that you're wrong even though you know in the deepest caverns of your heart that you're fucking right. it can be all so soul crushing.
just keep saying....
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
the older i get, the less safe i play it, the more i find myself speaking my mind more openly. but the amount of time i speak my mind openly is still not sufficient for me. i still find myself in many situations where i hold on to my words cuz i don't wanna rock a boat that don't need rocking. it's not that i don't wanna say whatever it is that i'm thinking, i just don't wanna deal with the consequences. whenever i convince myself to not speak my mind, it's more a matter of convenience than anything else.
but that makes me sad. i feel like i keep sacrificing the greater good and the bigger picture for measly moments. and i keep telling myself that i'm gonna stop acting like that. that i'm gonna say what's on my mind and that i'm gonna follow through on my own convictions. cuz if i think something is right in my own heart, then i'm only being my own worst enemy when i deny myself the opportunity to follow through on that. i may avoid awkward or negative moments... but the price i pay is my own self respect.
i know this for certain... it's harder to speak your mind. it's harder to be honest with yourself by being honest with everyone else around you. the more i speak my mind, the more i open up, the more i tell myself i don't give a fuck what people think about me or what i think or say, the more resistance i get. my mantra as of late has been, "i don't give a fuck what they think." repeat it three times and speak:
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
but just the simple fact that i have to try and pump myself up let's me know that i have a long way to go. i wanna speak my mind like it's my natural instinct. i want to say what's on my mind like i have to use the bathroom. it comes out, nothing's stopping it, and when it's said and done, i feel like a better person for it. that's where i want to be. that's what i have my sights on.
but shit ain't easy. i'm sure i'll find myself being opened to more scrutiny and feedback and a lot of it will turn out to be negative. and that's a lot to face. it's tough to stay strong sometimes when it feels like the world is telling you that you're wrong even though you know in the deepest caverns of your heart that you're fucking right. it can be all so soul crushing.
just keep saying....
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
i don't give a fuck what they think.
Friday, October 5, 2012
albums and running and whatnot
when i run, i like to listen to music. i usually listen to full length albums instead of having some sorta shuffle mode to listen to random songs by random artists. i find there's something about running to an entire album that's sorta cool.... like as i'm running, i'm also discovering the depth of whichever band it is i'm listening to at the moment. plus it allows me to get lost in the music. i've tried running to shuffle mode and it's not the same. most times when the next song begins to play, it'll momentarily take me out of whatever zone i may have been in. listening to full albums allows me to stay in that zone, which i find to be really good for lengthy runs.
and outside of running, it's helped to reinforce how i listen to music. i was a late bloomer to mp3. i had been listening to cd's longer than most people i know. when i first made the switch to mp3, i kinda adopted the shuffle mode. i guess cuz it was something new that wasn't available to me before. but running helped bring me back to listening to albums in their entirety. and as a music fan, i prefer it that way. to really appreciate a band and their sound, i think you have to dig your claws into whole albums instead of a random song here and there.
what concerns me as of late is the effect internet radio has on the concept of listening to full albums. i'm looking for an internet radio station that will play full albums. but i guess that'd sorta be against the point. if i could hear a full album on the radio, why would i go out and buy it? still, i can't help but notice lately that when i'm out and about, most people are fine with playing an internet radio station for parties, get togethers, long drives, and so on. makes me nostalgic for the times when the soundtrack of house parties always included a skipping cd.
maybe i'm just out of touch. i don't know, i'll let you decide. i'm gonna go play with my record player now (yes, i own a record player and records and it's awesome).
and outside of running, it's helped to reinforce how i listen to music. i was a late bloomer to mp3. i had been listening to cd's longer than most people i know. when i first made the switch to mp3, i kinda adopted the shuffle mode. i guess cuz it was something new that wasn't available to me before. but running helped bring me back to listening to albums in their entirety. and as a music fan, i prefer it that way. to really appreciate a band and their sound, i think you have to dig your claws into whole albums instead of a random song here and there.
what concerns me as of late is the effect internet radio has on the concept of listening to full albums. i'm looking for an internet radio station that will play full albums. but i guess that'd sorta be against the point. if i could hear a full album on the radio, why would i go out and buy it? still, i can't help but notice lately that when i'm out and about, most people are fine with playing an internet radio station for parties, get togethers, long drives, and so on. makes me nostalgic for the times when the soundtrack of house parties always included a skipping cd.
maybe i'm just out of touch. i don't know, i'll let you decide. i'm gonna go play with my record player now (yes, i own a record player and records and it's awesome).
Monday, October 1, 2012
stop making fun of lady gaga
i keep seeing and reading things here and there on the internet claiming that lady gaga put on weight. i read a story somewhere that her label or her management or whatever over intrusive party wanted her to lose weight. cuz that's what makes the music, right? if lady gaga's not thin, the sound changes... cuz that's how music works, of course.
it doesn't matter who you are... even if you happen to be the biggest pop star in the world. if lady gaga and jay-z decided to dedicate the next five years of their lives to eating deep fried twinkies, who gives a fuck? if they're happy, why can't everyone else mind their own shit. you like skinny? go be skinny. don't throw that shit on everyone else.
anyone who would even make a comment about lady gaga's weight immediately reveals the depths of their own shallowness. and when you put it into perspective, this is about way more than just lady gaga. this is the judgmental world we live in. for fuck's sake, drop the magazines, turn off the tv, and get the fuck off the internet. go outside. get some fresh air. live your life and go do what you gotta do so that you feel beautiful to yourself. cuz the more you trap yourself inside the confines of what "they" think is sexy, the more of a prisoner you become. you're just a sucker who believes there's nothing more to the human experience than being pretty by some set of bullshit standards other people made up.
see behind the bullshit. beautiful doesn't have a weight requirement. whether it's lady gaga or your next door neighbor... stop casting your shallow, uninformed judgments on everyone else. don't you see how miserable you've become? when you have nothing better to do than mock a pop star for how they appear on tv.... you've lost grip of your own reality. turn the tv off. go outside. breath. for fuck's sake, what's wrong with you???
it doesn't matter who you are... even if you happen to be the biggest pop star in the world. if lady gaga and jay-z decided to dedicate the next five years of their lives to eating deep fried twinkies, who gives a fuck? if they're happy, why can't everyone else mind their own shit. you like skinny? go be skinny. don't throw that shit on everyone else.
anyone who would even make a comment about lady gaga's weight immediately reveals the depths of their own shallowness. and when you put it into perspective, this is about way more than just lady gaga. this is the judgmental world we live in. for fuck's sake, drop the magazines, turn off the tv, and get the fuck off the internet. go outside. get some fresh air. live your life and go do what you gotta do so that you feel beautiful to yourself. cuz the more you trap yourself inside the confines of what "they" think is sexy, the more of a prisoner you become. you're just a sucker who believes there's nothing more to the human experience than being pretty by some set of bullshit standards other people made up.
see behind the bullshit. beautiful doesn't have a weight requirement. whether it's lady gaga or your next door neighbor... stop casting your shallow, uninformed judgments on everyone else. don't you see how miserable you've become? when you have nothing better to do than mock a pop star for how they appear on tv.... you've lost grip of your own reality. turn the tv off. go outside. breath. for fuck's sake, what's wrong with you???
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