no utopia

there is no utopia. there'll never be a perfect civilization. there's no point where human beings will evolve and finally all will be well all the time. shit just don't work like that. no matter how far we go, there will always be mishaps and misunderstandings. there will always be emotions that we can't control that will drive us to do things that will put a wedge into society... no matter how little or how large that action may be... everything has some sort of ripple effect.

this doesn't mean we shouldn't aspire to be better people. i think we should all do the best we can. but no matter how much we tell ourselves we're gonna do that, we'll never meet the expectations of someone else somewhere who'll say we're not doing good enough. we're all disappointing somebody and someone is always disappointing us.

all we can do is keep putting one foot forward in front of the other. keep walking. never quitting. keep trying to make this next step count for something. if this step can count for something, then maybe the step after that can count for something even better and more important. this is it. this is all we can do. take that next step. if you fucked up somewhere along the line in the past (spoiler alert: you did), you gotta leave that shit there. even if it fucked up a whole lot of stuff and a ton of people are gonna hate your guts forever. i'm not justifying actions that have negative consequences. it sucks. but it happens. it'll always happen. it'll just keep on happening.

everyone needs to concentrate on their own path. do the best they can. make no excuses for our fuck ups. leave them in the past but learn the lesson and move forward. that's all we can ever do. carry the scars and the abuse (there will be scars and abuse but you already knew that) and carry it with you for fuel. take every fucked up thing this world throws your way and devour it. fuck you world. not today. i'm taking this next step and it's gonna mean something.