a mom manifesto

my mom kicks ass. seriously. she was in the army for a while. she did boot camp and all that. my mom can kick ass.

my mom's taught me many things. but it's how she lives her life that has taught me the most. my mom's self reliant, tough, smart, and fun. she knows how to get shit done but she also knows that life is to be enjoyed.

as a youngen, she was tired of the same ol', same ol'. she decided to do something about it. she joined the army. she left home. she traveled the world. she went as far as germany and south korea.

somewhere, sometime in south korea, she met my dad. and the rest is history. they both moved back to the states and they both were just about finished with their time in the army.

my mom and dad divorced when i was 10, i think i was 10.... but that's not what's important. even though it ended in divorce, i think they still did the right thing. i think for that time in their lives, it just made sense and i know that for some time there was happiness and for some time, me, phil, mom, and dad were a happy family.

shit happens. stuff falls apart. people change. you can't hate anyone for any of that. but it's how my mom dealt with it that leaves the biggest imprint on my soul.

we were living in oklahoma and my mom at this point was a housewife, a stay at home mother. my dad had rejoined the army and that's how we found ourselves in this part of the country.

my mom decided she was going to go to school for accounting and she eventually got her bachelor's degree. it was quite the accomplishment. being a mom is tough business. that's a full time thing on its own. at night, she would do homework, just like me and phil. i remember if me or phil called out of school, she'd drag us to school with her. imagine that shit!

and then it happened. the divorce. mom was left with two children in the middle of no where in oklahoma and dad fled to his army duties in south korea.

my mom decided to go back where she came from, new jersey. we lived in iselin and mom got a job in the biggest city in the world. just like that she went from stay at home mom in oklahoma to corporate employment in the city that never sleeps.

she did her best while we were in iselin. shit wasn't easy. we had a grandma who's health was in decline move in with us. money was tight. and i hated iselin. i hated the school system. i hated the kids there. i just didn't adjust well. i was picked on a lot and i pretty much thought everything sucked.

somewhere in the middle of the iselin mess, me and phil decided to give living with our dad a shot. so we moved to south korea.

south korea was awesome! no lie! but living with our dad, that was another story. it didn't take long to realize who was the hero in the raising kids dept when it came to our parents. my dad tried, but mom was just better at it. and suddenly, as much as i hated the kids in iselin, and as much as i liked the kids in south korea, i knew eventually we had to get back to mom.

mom moved to north bergen while we were in south korea. about a year after we left, we came back. i'll never forget coming off that plane, skinny and crying. i'd never been so happy to see someone. my mom would later say that we came back looking malnourished with the same clothes on that she sent us away with.

my mom did an awesome job with stuff while we were away. she got a 3 bedroom apartment that for the remainder of my life will probably be the first thing i think of when i say the word, "home." she met a dude, jack, who eventually became my stepfather. my mom had rebuilt her whole life. she was happy. she was enjoying life.

and that's what she passed down to me. there's nothing wrong with enjoying life. she was actually just telling me the other day that life is short. that you gotta do what you want and don't let anyone force you into doing what you don't wanna do. she said i'm 29 and i can wake up tomorrow and change everything if i wanted to.

and she taught me that you gotta take care of shit yourself. in the end, you're responsible for where your life's at. you can damn everything around you, point blame to anyone but yourself, but the truth is there... it's all, ALL on you. self reliance.

the next 15 years would just fly by. so many great memories. there were good times, parties and gatherings, high school, a wedding, car crashes, incidents, girlfriends and x-girlfriends, drama, and jets games. from crabbing and seaside to the awesomest family vacation EVER to cali....

thanx mom for being awesome.