Ferguson, Missouri, USA

I don’t quite know how to properly express my rage about Ferguson, Missouri. I don’t know where to start, where to finish. There might be no finish. That might be the biggest ire of my rage. It never stops. The cycle continues. In my head, I know right from wrong. I know cops shouldn’t shoot kids dead on the streets of America. I know tanks shouldn’t roll through the streets to silence protesters. I know that whenever someone wants to speak up and be heard and say, “NO WAY, FUCK YOU! WE’RE NOT TAKING THIS SHIT ANYMORE!” they shouldn’t have to worry about the threat of tear gas or rubber bullets. I know racism is alive and well in the country I live in and that infuriates me. But what infuriates me further is when people tell me it’s not true. When people say racism’s dead or it’s better than it used to be, or it’s not the reason behind the pulling of a trigger. But then what is? It can’t be cigars. It can’t be a kid who knew to throw his hands up in the air. When I see what’s going down, I can’t be angry enough. I can’t compose myself to find the fancy words to convince others to share my rage. Why should anyone need convincing? Where’s the outrage? Why isn’t there more of it? I find myself outraged by a lack of outrage. Outrage born out of empathy. Outrage born out of concern for our fellow human. Don’t try and silence it or pretend it’s not there. Ferguson, Missouri, USA. This land is your land. Don’t pass the buck. The president’s out playing golf. You’re gonna have to get off the sidelines and get a little dirt on your hands. This isn’t patty cake politics.This is real fucking life. This is about a real fucking life that was taken. Gone forever. Mike Brown is dead. And we’re not. I’m tired of being scolded for wanting to improve society. I’m done with being told that we can’t make a difference. Indifference is death. Say something. Scream something. Grab something and shake it. There is no better time to show you’re alive than in the wake of a life that was needlessly put to rest.  

doug stanhope and the end of being offended

i paid money to see doug stanhope speak for the fourth time in my life last night. and if given the chance, i'll see him again and many more times if permitted. what stanhope does is hard to categorize and with good reason. i think the highest compliment you can give towards any artist is that their uniqueness is impossible to label. as soon as you're labeled, you're predictable which in no time at all will result in boredom. doug stanhope is many, many things, but boring is definitely not one of them.

i could ramble on about how hilarious doug stanhope is. but i won't. hilarious is subjective and you could go youtube something of his that won't make you laugh and call me a liar. but i'm not. i think he's hilarious. but even if you disagree, it's hard to argue with the numbers... three sold out shows, three nights in a row in new york city. you can see a shitload of comedy for a lot cheaper on any given night within spitting distance of the highline ballroom, and yet there we were, crammed to the extremities of the space provided.

and that's all well and good but for my money, the real shine of stanhope is his ability to push envelopes and forgo tiptoeing on sacred ground instead choosing to stomp mud holes through your most sacred patch of lawn. last time i saw him was only a year and a few months ago and yet here he was, with an hour or so of brand new material, all pushing the boundaries of what people probably find acceptable to talk about. you're not getting hack premises or light hearted guffawing. stanhope is real, raw, naked, crude, and somehow altogether ugly and beautiful all at once.

at some point or another, everyone will be offended by stanhope. that's no insult. i've heard the man say it himself. he's instructed audiences in the past to wait your turn because soon he'll move on to a topic that you'll find funny and someone else will be offended at. but that's stanhope, pulling no punches. and that's what keeps him fresh. comedy is filled with pulled punches and cosmetics applied to jokes that may be too rough for some people. too many people are willing to tell you what's taboo and untouchable. they make frantic lists of things you cannot say. but doug stanhope won't have any part of that conversation. he's the great, big middle finger looming over the whole silly debate.

being a fan of stanhope, even after he said words that offended me, i realized being offended is no big thing. we all get offended about something. but what's more offensive than anything else are those who think it's okay to bully you into being offended by what offends them. that's why the world needs doug stanhope. we've mutated into this society that runs around in circles pointing at all the things everyone should be offended at. doug stanhope's standing at the mountain top, hammered and belligerent, screaming from on high, "fuck that!" it's all nonsense and silly. and stanhope seems to be the only one hip to that notion.

positivity is mustard

there's a lot of positive affirmations flying around out there... a whole lot of, "think positive, live positive." and that's totally cool if that's your thing. but i think you should know that you're gonna need a lot more than positive affirmations or famous quotes that reflect lots of positivity to get through the day. life can be an ugly sludgefest beyond the assistance or repair of any makeup. we'd all probably do well to know ugly when we see it and not try to view it through some sorta rose colored glasses.

sure, a positive outlook is better than a negative outlook. i'm not debating that. what i am debating is that you can fix anything at all with positivity alone. sometimes you're doing something wrong or maybe you're not trying hard enough or maybe you're just having a shitty day that's not gonna get any easier on you no matter what you do. 

if positivity was enough, we would've cured cancer with facebook posts years ago. if all you needed was to see things in a brighter perspective, the football team coached by ned flanders would always win. ugly things happen. sometimes the bad guys win. we won't always get the happy ending. shit ain't like that. it's not. i can't tell you why but i know it's true because everyone has a shitty day and shitty things are constantly happening to good people.

don't go abandoning the good guy routine. the world needs more good guys than bad. but being good won't be enough. sometimes you gotta have a better plan or a bigger gun. sometimes you gotta be smarter, stronger, or more charismatic. a lot of times you have to be richer (sucks, i know. hooray capitalism???). no matter what the situation, most of the time, being more positive won't be enough to get you through your trials and tribulations. 

i'm not saying you should stop being positive altogether. to me, postivity is like a condiment... like ketchup, or mustard if you hate ketchup. and life's a burger. the point is to eat the burger. you're gonna eat it regardless and it's probably gonna taste better if you put your favorite condiment on it. but the condiment itself can't eat the burger. you gotta do that yourself. start chewing.