Port Authority

Over the weekend me and Dani were in Port Authority and she was talking about how much Port Authority sucks and how she always tries to avoid it and I started thinking about how I hear a lot of people trash it and I wanted to play the contrarion and defend what I think is an important transportation hub for getting around NYC and beyond. Just as I was about to speak in this terminal's defense, I looked up to see a man peeing on the floor. He was in plain sight of everyone, not even trying to hide. I knew before the words ever had a chance to leave my mouth that my argument was defeated.

Two Boneheads

BACK IN THE DAY:

About age 16, I was going through this weird pseudo-intellectual phase where I'd do things like quote Nietzsche or make fun of religion. Y'know, super edgy and condescending. Me and my friends used to hang with this older dude Bill from time to time and Bill used to read a ton of philosophy books and I thought he was super cool because of it.

So anyways, there was this one time at White Castle (because that's where super deep, philosophical people go to eat), we were sitting down, eating some sliders and talking about Sartre or Descartes or post modernism or something. Super cool stuff. Then these two boneheads sat down at the table next to us. They were ratty looking relics from the age of glam rock. They seemed highly intoxicated and started naming hair metal bands from the 80's. They went back and forth, taking turns, laughing and whoa-ing and wow-ing after every band they mentioned. We thought we were so much better than them. Bill looked at them with disdain and me and my friends followed suit. I wanted to look cool in front of my philisophy crew but deep down inside I also knew that neither bonehead mentioned Skid Row yet and I'd be a fucking hero if I said it out loud.

Instead, I said nothing. But I look back on that day as a real turning point. I don't know what happened to the two boneheads but I bet they left White Castle and had more fun than we did. We talked philosophy but those dudes lived it. They didn't need to know about nihilism to know that we only got one life to live so you might as well live it well. You might as well pal around in a denim vest and live loud. They were living in the moment while we discussed Schopenhauer. What a bummer we were.

That was a long time ago. I don't know what happened to Bill and I don't know what happened to the two boneheads, but I hope they're still out there, way over the hill, going to see cover bands, drinking cheap beer, and naming all the bands they know on a podcast somewhere. That'd add much more value to the world than anything written by Hegel.

(some of the names in this story have been changed to protect identities)