i tend to do some people watching at the lake by me. i can't help it. while jogging, walking, or just chilling, sometimes, and usually when i'm by myself, it's just the natural way that time goes by. and recently i've seen the best and worst in people.
the best:
dudes selling bottled water for $1. that's a fair deal. whenever i go to jog, i never take my wallet with me, but i always grab a dollar before leaving the house so i'm not out of luck if i pass a water dude. there's more than 1 dude and i don't know if there's any affiliation at all between the different water dudes. and i'm not even sure if it's legal, though as far as illegal goes, that would have to be the lamest of crimes. dudes are hooking it up in my eyes. the heat's been killer lately, 90's-100's for the past week. that's some brutal jogging weather. nothing hits the spot after those jogs like some cold water... there's just nothing better at that moment. so thanks water selling dudes. i will gladly cough up $1 every time i see you and consider it the smartest of purchases i make.
and i'm all for this kind of consumerism. forget going to get your llc or permit or what have you. just show up at a lake with a backpack stuffed with cold waters. the demand is there. and it's not like the park the lake is in tries to do anything as accommodating. the lake area is begging for a snack bar of some sort. it'd make a killing in the summer and probably in the spring and fall as well. they could and probably would charge $2 for a bottle of water and people would gladly cough up some money for that... plus whatever else they sell... ice cream, hot dogs, and whatnot. but the park doesn't do this. so whatever park, we don't need you for hydration, we got the water selling dudes.
the worst:
kids throwing rocks at the turtles. i jogged past these two kids the other day and they were scheming on throwing rocks at turtles in the lake. when it's hot out, all the turtles like to chill on the rocks that go above the lake's surface. so it's like a pile on of turtles. they're not hurting nobody. they're just chilling. as i came around a corner towards these kids, they got quiet and waited for me to pass. but i knew what they were up to.
i wish the turtles could throw rocks back. i don't know who deserves to get rocks thrown at them more, these 2 stupid kids, or their parents. get out of here with that! go throw rocks at each other rug rats. i wait and hope for the day when the turtles get their chance at revenge. not sure how they would accomplish this, but i hope it has something to do with turtles of the teenage mutant ninja assortment.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
indecent proposal??? (larry flynt vs. casey anthony vs. america)
so larry flynt is offering $500,000 to casey anthony to pose in hustler magazine.
how controversial! i'm sure just the idea of that outrages many out there somewhere.
(then again, what doesn't outrage many out there somewhere in the age of the internet. thanx to the internet, something as insignificant as 'favorite pizza topping' can inspire hate filled message board debates.)
back to the topic at hand though...
in one corner, we have casey anthony, who went all celebrity when she went to court for the death of her child. she was found not guilty and white people haven't been this pissed about a not guilty verdict since 'you-know-who.' she's probably been bankrupted by this whole situation and could use the money. and we hear she's a girl who likes to party a lot, so i'm sure she's not the shy type.
in the other corner we got mr. 'goddamn american as apple pie' himself, larry flynt. $500,000 would be just a small investment in the returns he would get. he hasn't even laid the $500,000 down yet and he's already gotten free publicity out of it (like in my blog here, which is all the rage). does his decision lack morals? possibly. but who doesn't sacrifice morals to make a fortune in this country nowadays?
then again, she was found not guilty. technically mr. flynt is trying to help a not guilty sista out who's fallen on hard times.
say whatever you want up to this point... my guess is that the majority of anyone who cares about this issue is probably filled with disgust, disgust for larry flynt, disgust for casey anthony, or maybe my kinda disgust... knowing that "IF" she takes said offer, she'll be richer than me, and that's bullshit!
but if anything is going to disgust you, it should probably be the idea of how big this would be. it'd sell copies. people would buy it. i could see the picture going viral and becoming the subject of water cooler chat for the fellas, who are all cautiously making sure no female co-workers are within ear shot.
if a picture of casey anthony naked shows up ANYWHERE, it'll show up everywhere.. in your email, on your twitter feed, and as your disturbed buddy's new default facebook pic.
the point is, you should be disgusted in yourselves america! cuz even if you personally wouldn't support it, the country you live in will. it'll make big money. larry flynt gets richer. casey anthony gets rich and can finally afford the protection she's probably going to need for the rest of her life. and americans will throw down their semi-hard earned cash in a dwindling economic situation just to be able to say they too were part of the 'oh shit, that's casey anthony... NAKED!' experience.
how controversial! i'm sure just the idea of that outrages many out there somewhere.
(then again, what doesn't outrage many out there somewhere in the age of the internet. thanx to the internet, something as insignificant as 'favorite pizza topping' can inspire hate filled message board debates.)
back to the topic at hand though...
in one corner, we have casey anthony, who went all celebrity when she went to court for the death of her child. she was found not guilty and white people haven't been this pissed about a not guilty verdict since 'you-know-who.' she's probably been bankrupted by this whole situation and could use the money. and we hear she's a girl who likes to party a lot, so i'm sure she's not the shy type.
in the other corner we got mr. 'goddamn american as apple pie' himself, larry flynt. $500,000 would be just a small investment in the returns he would get. he hasn't even laid the $500,000 down yet and he's already gotten free publicity out of it (like in my blog here, which is all the rage). does his decision lack morals? possibly. but who doesn't sacrifice morals to make a fortune in this country nowadays?
then again, she was found not guilty. technically mr. flynt is trying to help a not guilty sista out who's fallen on hard times.
say whatever you want up to this point... my guess is that the majority of anyone who cares about this issue is probably filled with disgust, disgust for larry flynt, disgust for casey anthony, or maybe my kinda disgust... knowing that "IF" she takes said offer, she'll be richer than me, and that's bullshit!
but if anything is going to disgust you, it should probably be the idea of how big this would be. it'd sell copies. people would buy it. i could see the picture going viral and becoming the subject of water cooler chat for the fellas, who are all cautiously making sure no female co-workers are within ear shot.
if a picture of casey anthony naked shows up ANYWHERE, it'll show up everywhere.. in your email, on your twitter feed, and as your disturbed buddy's new default facebook pic.
the point is, you should be disgusted in yourselves america! cuz even if you personally wouldn't support it, the country you live in will. it'll make big money. larry flynt gets richer. casey anthony gets rich and can finally afford the protection she's probably going to need for the rest of her life. and americans will throw down their semi-hard earned cash in a dwindling economic situation just to be able to say they too were part of the 'oh shit, that's casey anthony... NAKED!' experience.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
fuck the rich! (an uninformed view on financial politcal... umm... stuff)
this whole debt ceiling conversation is so aggravating. and it's for so many reasons. sure there' the whole... politics as usual... repubs gotta defend rich people, corporations, and tax loopholes and they can be so mean about it. do you have to do all that yelling guys? cuz on the other side of the aisle are the good intentioned pussies. yes pussies... i'm sorry, i can't come up with a classier word for the democrats.
i mean, i'm still raging about how they had control of the house of representatives, the senate, and the WHITE HOUSE!!! but somehow, somehow we didn't come out with the super progressive dream machine it was advertised to be. why? cuz the dems are pussies. there is absolutely no other reason... go ahead, research it. put hours and days of studying into it and i guaran-goddamn-tee you come back with the same results.
'you were right josh, the dems are a bunch of pussies.'
now that i've filled my yearly quota for using the word 'pussies,' i'll try and get into the current situation.
debt ceiling needs to be lifted. it's something we've done a whole bunch of times before and usually nobody blinks when it needs to be done. but this time it's a big issue. and maybe it should be with unemployment and a sinking US dollar. but let's not lose our shirts and get crazy either.
repubs want to reduce spending. a pretty logical idea when you consider the base of our problem is we spend more money than we make.
so the dems are willing to make some cuts. they realize, yes, the base of the problem is we need to cut spending. it's tough and some crucial shit will take a hit for it... like social security and medicare... but something's gotta give. (maybe they could go ahead and end all them wars and put an end to all money invested into american imperialism PERIOD... but i'll save that diatribe for another blog post).
but the dems have a bright idea of their own to help us, on top of spending cuts, let's raise taxes on rich people.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!! DOUBLE MOTHERFUCKING YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! how could anyone possibly be against this? no brainer! i mean, they're rich! let 'em pay their fair share. the rest of us only bust our asses day in and day out in soul sucking jobs that wipe the smiles off our faces so that they can afford a maid to clean their castles.
but the repubs don't want none of this. they say we can't raise taxes because the rich people are "job creators." if we tax the "job creators," they'll create less jobs.
and a mighty fine job they're doing with the whole job creating thing as of late. just look at 'em go!
listen, if you're gonna hind behind this BS concept of "job creator," can you at least try and make it look like you actually create jobs?
but nooooooo, we have outsourcing and cheap labor on foreign shores! it all helps the bottom line which is to make the "job creator" richer. so the "job creator" is "technically" creating jobs, just not for american citizens.
wait, why are the repubs so anti-immigrant? they defend fat cat bastards that employ people who aren't U.S. citizens. if it wasn't for non-citizens, the "job creators" would have it so tough. they'd have to give us jobs with fair pay and benefits and let us off on christmas.
point is, the "job creators" aren't doing shit for us. let them make up for what they lack and toss some extra coinage into the bucket! besides, they're defended by republicans so i'm certain they're all patriots who love their country very much? why wouldn't they willingly wanna help us out on this one?
i wholeheartedly believe in taxing the rich. it's my solution for everything. that's cuz i'm a pissed off middle class dude who's come to realize that the american dream is just that, a dream, a non reality. and we owe the robbery of this dream to greedy bastards who keep coming up with new and improved ways to spend less money so they can make more. the way they spend less money is they get their labor OUTSIDE of america.
they don't care about the middle class. and we're pretty much just apathetic about it. sure, we get mad, but twitter posts won't be enough to start the revolution here. they got the guns but we got the numbers... but fuck.. not now... the new 'dancing with the stars' is coming on.
the dems defend us but to a certain point. and we're just like them. we talk big at the press conference, but once you get us in the room to negotiate, we crumble. the repubs hold the demands of corporations over the dems' heads just like our jobs hold our financial well being over ours.
so to try and sum this whole thing up here and put a bow on it:
man up democrats. man up middle class. fuck the rich cuz they fuck us on a regular basis. and fuck the repubs for standing up for them. tax the rich now. tax them till they bleed. and when they say, 'oww, that hurts,' show them your scars.
i mean, i'm still raging about how they had control of the house of representatives, the senate, and the WHITE HOUSE!!! but somehow, somehow we didn't come out with the super progressive dream machine it was advertised to be. why? cuz the dems are pussies. there is absolutely no other reason... go ahead, research it. put hours and days of studying into it and i guaran-goddamn-tee you come back with the same results.
'you were right josh, the dems are a bunch of pussies.'
now that i've filled my yearly quota for using the word 'pussies,' i'll try and get into the current situation.
debt ceiling needs to be lifted. it's something we've done a whole bunch of times before and usually nobody blinks when it needs to be done. but this time it's a big issue. and maybe it should be with unemployment and a sinking US dollar. but let's not lose our shirts and get crazy either.
repubs want to reduce spending. a pretty logical idea when you consider the base of our problem is we spend more money than we make.
so the dems are willing to make some cuts. they realize, yes, the base of the problem is we need to cut spending. it's tough and some crucial shit will take a hit for it... like social security and medicare... but something's gotta give. (maybe they could go ahead and end all them wars and put an end to all money invested into american imperialism PERIOD... but i'll save that diatribe for another blog post).
but the dems have a bright idea of their own to help us, on top of spending cuts, let's raise taxes on rich people.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!! DOUBLE MOTHERFUCKING YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! how could anyone possibly be against this? no brainer! i mean, they're rich! let 'em pay their fair share. the rest of us only bust our asses day in and day out in soul sucking jobs that wipe the smiles off our faces so that they can afford a maid to clean their castles.
but the repubs don't want none of this. they say we can't raise taxes because the rich people are "job creators." if we tax the "job creators," they'll create less jobs.
and a mighty fine job they're doing with the whole job creating thing as of late. just look at 'em go!
listen, if you're gonna hind behind this BS concept of "job creator," can you at least try and make it look like you actually create jobs?
but nooooooo, we have outsourcing and cheap labor on foreign shores! it all helps the bottom line which is to make the "job creator" richer. so the "job creator" is "technically" creating jobs, just not for american citizens.
wait, why are the repubs so anti-immigrant? they defend fat cat bastards that employ people who aren't U.S. citizens. if it wasn't for non-citizens, the "job creators" would have it so tough. they'd have to give us jobs with fair pay and benefits and let us off on christmas.
point is, the "job creators" aren't doing shit for us. let them make up for what they lack and toss some extra coinage into the bucket! besides, they're defended by republicans so i'm certain they're all patriots who love their country very much? why wouldn't they willingly wanna help us out on this one?
i wholeheartedly believe in taxing the rich. it's my solution for everything. that's cuz i'm a pissed off middle class dude who's come to realize that the american dream is just that, a dream, a non reality. and we owe the robbery of this dream to greedy bastards who keep coming up with new and improved ways to spend less money so they can make more. the way they spend less money is they get their labor OUTSIDE of america.
they don't care about the middle class. and we're pretty much just apathetic about it. sure, we get mad, but twitter posts won't be enough to start the revolution here. they got the guns but we got the numbers... but fuck.. not now... the new 'dancing with the stars' is coming on.
the dems defend us but to a certain point. and we're just like them. we talk big at the press conference, but once you get us in the room to negotiate, we crumble. the repubs hold the demands of corporations over the dems' heads just like our jobs hold our financial well being over ours.
so to try and sum this whole thing up here and put a bow on it:
man up democrats. man up middle class. fuck the rich cuz they fuck us on a regular basis. and fuck the repubs for standing up for them. tax the rich now. tax them till they bleed. and when they say, 'oww, that hurts,' show them your scars.
Monday, July 25, 2011
fuck circles!
this is a google+ inspired rant.
if you're a member of the google cult, turn away now. i know, i know, you wanna convert me. that's what cults make you wanna do. that urge you're filled with, you think it's logic and common sense, but it's not... you're in a cult and you're brainwashed! so turn away.. thanx.
i'm on facebook. i like facebook. it serves its social networking purposes for me. it does everything i could possibly want. my social networking experience is not broken so i don't feel the need to fix it with the newer, shinier version from its competitor.
and i am on google+. don't get me wrong. after all, you can't knock it unless you tried it.
anyways, fuck circles. circles... that's the major difference between facebook and google+. (google cult members are foaming at the mouth to shout the 100 other things that make them different, spare me, google+ is fb with circles).
i get it, the circle thing. it's a nice, easy, guilt free way to post things and have certain things only be seen by certain people. that's awesome for people who have something to hide. i decided a long time ago back in the myspace world that i was gonna only be friends with people that i thought would be able to handle what i post without being offended, shocked, mad, sad, etc. and every now and again someone got through and they did get offended and then they unfriended me. boohoo.
there's certain things that are hard for people to do, like declining requests or booting a 'friend' cuz you realized they suck a lot more than you thought they did... but these sorta things shouldn't be hard. the thing is a lot of people are just soft and the google+ circles are only gonna enable the bad habits that continue to keep you soft.
thanks to circles, you can now accept that request from your boss or an annoying coworker and put him/her in a circle to be ignored forever. you accepted the request, far as they know you're just not very active on google+. no hurt feelings. but they shouldn't be your network friend in the first place. you don't have what it takes to tell them no, but this is your goddamn profile! stand up for yourself and refuse the request. what can they say say? he/she can't harass you, they wouldn't wanna make this an HR issue. you should want to make and probably even enjoy making the decision of declining that request! shit! c'mon people!
the circles also make it easier to do things like cheat on your girlfriend. take the side piece, put her in the circle with your boss. hope they never meet. you sly bastard! you now have duped your side piece and your boss! just name the circle "suckers" and get high off the power trip.
cuz the circles can enable that power trip bullshit. 'watch this, i'm gonna accept so-and-so's request and put them in my circle called 'insufferable douche bags.' that's all well and good, but if they're such an insufferable douche bag, then someone should tell them so. you've done nothing to improve anything... in fact, most likely the insufferable douche bag is someone you hate hanging out with but do anyways for god knows what reason and now that douche bag is one step closer to NEVER knowing how much of a douche bag they are. and that's not right.
the biggest issue i have with the circles is that it brings you one step closer to taking joy in not being yourself. let me post the bong pic for the friends, the boring pic where i'm well dressed for some boring work event for the co-workers, and the picture of me in a church for the grandparents. you're living 3 lies!!! whatever it is you're about, bongs, jesus, money, dungeons and dragons... anyone who sends you a request should already know this about you. stop accepting requests from people you're uncomfortable to be yourself around. all you're doing is isolating yourself into your own circle and eventually you'll be the only person you can ever be yourself around. congratulations. your life is a sham.
with love,
josh wells
ps- i know if facebook goes the way of friendster and myspace, i'll be a google+ reg and i'll have to go back to this blog and eat it. buuuuut i tell you this, if that does happen and i do become an avid google+ user, i will only have 1 circle, for everybody, no divisions. suck it.
if you're a member of the google cult, turn away now. i know, i know, you wanna convert me. that's what cults make you wanna do. that urge you're filled with, you think it's logic and common sense, but it's not... you're in a cult and you're brainwashed! so turn away.. thanx.
i'm on facebook. i like facebook. it serves its social networking purposes for me. it does everything i could possibly want. my social networking experience is not broken so i don't feel the need to fix it with the newer, shinier version from its competitor.
and i am on google+. don't get me wrong. after all, you can't knock it unless you tried it.
anyways, fuck circles. circles... that's the major difference between facebook and google+. (google cult members are foaming at the mouth to shout the 100 other things that make them different, spare me, google+ is fb with circles).
i get it, the circle thing. it's a nice, easy, guilt free way to post things and have certain things only be seen by certain people. that's awesome for people who have something to hide. i decided a long time ago back in the myspace world that i was gonna only be friends with people that i thought would be able to handle what i post without being offended, shocked, mad, sad, etc. and every now and again someone got through and they did get offended and then they unfriended me. boohoo.
there's certain things that are hard for people to do, like declining requests or booting a 'friend' cuz you realized they suck a lot more than you thought they did... but these sorta things shouldn't be hard. the thing is a lot of people are just soft and the google+ circles are only gonna enable the bad habits that continue to keep you soft.
thanks to circles, you can now accept that request from your boss or an annoying coworker and put him/her in a circle to be ignored forever. you accepted the request, far as they know you're just not very active on google+. no hurt feelings. but they shouldn't be your network friend in the first place. you don't have what it takes to tell them no, but this is your goddamn profile! stand up for yourself and refuse the request. what can they say say? he/she can't harass you, they wouldn't wanna make this an HR issue. you should want to make and probably even enjoy making the decision of declining that request! shit! c'mon people!
the circles also make it easier to do things like cheat on your girlfriend. take the side piece, put her in the circle with your boss. hope they never meet. you sly bastard! you now have duped your side piece and your boss! just name the circle "suckers" and get high off the power trip.
cuz the circles can enable that power trip bullshit. 'watch this, i'm gonna accept so-and-so's request and put them in my circle called 'insufferable douche bags.' that's all well and good, but if they're such an insufferable douche bag, then someone should tell them so. you've done nothing to improve anything... in fact, most likely the insufferable douche bag is someone you hate hanging out with but do anyways for god knows what reason and now that douche bag is one step closer to NEVER knowing how much of a douche bag they are. and that's not right.
the biggest issue i have with the circles is that it brings you one step closer to taking joy in not being yourself. let me post the bong pic for the friends, the boring pic where i'm well dressed for some boring work event for the co-workers, and the picture of me in a church for the grandparents. you're living 3 lies!!! whatever it is you're about, bongs, jesus, money, dungeons and dragons... anyone who sends you a request should already know this about you. stop accepting requests from people you're uncomfortable to be yourself around. all you're doing is isolating yourself into your own circle and eventually you'll be the only person you can ever be yourself around. congratulations. your life is a sham.
with love,
josh wells
ps- i know if facebook goes the way of friendster and myspace, i'll be a google+ reg and i'll have to go back to this blog and eat it. buuuuut i tell you this, if that does happen and i do become an avid google+ user, i will only have 1 circle, for everybody, no divisions. suck it.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
i hope the nba employs replacement players
yea i know, it's not a strike, it's a lockout, so technically there's no reason to replace the players with replacements since they're not striking.
but some nba players are threatening to go play bball in europe. taking the atlantic ocean jump just to spite your bosses is as good as striking to me. and if they do go to europe to play, they'll still be compensated with a paycheck so i can hardly feel bad for them. they'll still receive the adulation of the crowd while i crunch numbers to the applause of no one.
i almost always on principle side with the employee over the employer in situations such as this. i'm just a "DAMN THE MAN!" kinda guy. but these are nba athletes. they're well paid already. in this instance, i don't really have to feel bad for them. they're not factory workers living check to check and willing to sacrifice it so that they can strike to get things they think they deserve. kobe bryant's kids will not starve.
there also happens to be a major ulterior motive for me personally. i'm 6'6" and people constantly ask me if i play basketball just because i'm sorta tall and i'm tired of saying no. i wanna say, 'hell yes, i play basketball! and i make a lot of damn money doing it too!'
now i'm not conceited enough to believe that i deserve to play in the nba. i know height alone is not enough to make me a good basketball player. but i could ride the bench and i look pretty decent in a suit. who cares who's on the bench? if it's gonna be anyone, it might as well be a tall, lanky white guy. you don't have to put me in your games, just sit me on your bench, and i'll contribute as much to the nba as adam morrison ever has.
so nba teams, when you start thinking about filling those rosters, i'm right here. i come real cheap (i imagine real cheap to you is still a lot of money to me). i already have a twitter account and i'll be phenomenal at press conferences.
and when it's all said and done and the "real" nba talent comes back to you, i'll go away peacefully back to where i belong... begging the washington generals (the team of white dudes that always lose to the harlem globetrotters) for a roster spot.
but some nba players are threatening to go play bball in europe. taking the atlantic ocean jump just to spite your bosses is as good as striking to me. and if they do go to europe to play, they'll still be compensated with a paycheck so i can hardly feel bad for them. they'll still receive the adulation of the crowd while i crunch numbers to the applause of no one.
i almost always on principle side with the employee over the employer in situations such as this. i'm just a "DAMN THE MAN!" kinda guy. but these are nba athletes. they're well paid already. in this instance, i don't really have to feel bad for them. they're not factory workers living check to check and willing to sacrifice it so that they can strike to get things they think they deserve. kobe bryant's kids will not starve.
there also happens to be a major ulterior motive for me personally. i'm 6'6" and people constantly ask me if i play basketball just because i'm sorta tall and i'm tired of saying no. i wanna say, 'hell yes, i play basketball! and i make a lot of damn money doing it too!'
now i'm not conceited enough to believe that i deserve to play in the nba. i know height alone is not enough to make me a good basketball player. but i could ride the bench and i look pretty decent in a suit. who cares who's on the bench? if it's gonna be anyone, it might as well be a tall, lanky white guy. you don't have to put me in your games, just sit me on your bench, and i'll contribute as much to the nba as adam morrison ever has.
so nba teams, when you start thinking about filling those rosters, i'm right here. i come real cheap (i imagine real cheap to you is still a lot of money to me). i already have a twitter account and i'll be phenomenal at press conferences.
and when it's all said and done and the "real" nba talent comes back to you, i'll go away peacefully back to where i belong... begging the washington generals (the team of white dudes that always lose to the harlem globetrotters) for a roster spot.
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