bah humbug!
well, not really. i'm not a total grinch when it comes to this time of year.
i don't like christmas. but i do like december 25th. and i totally don't think they're the same thing.
christmas is supposed to be a birthday for jesus christ. the party has obviously gotten out of hand. it's turned into the only birthday i know of where everyone except the birthday boy gets gifts (you'd think that totally sucks if it happened on your birthday).
if you don't want to celebrate jesus's birthday, then i don't think you should celebrate christmas.
but if you still feel like celebrating something, then by all means go ahead! just call it something else, like... i don't know... december 25th?? and try not to ruin it for the rest of us. i don't see any reason why grown adults should be buying each other gifts. we didn't do anything to deserve it. just take that $25 you were about to spend on me, keep it for yourself, and buy yourself something nice, and i'll do the same. deal? i hope so (tis the season for hope).
gift giving to kids is still acceptable. gifts make kids happy and everyone likes happy kids. so keep on with the gift giving for kids! and keep on with the great, far fetched fable of a man who travels the world in one night to deliver it to them. if you wanna blow tons of money on your children just to not get credit for it in the end, then that's totally cool with me.
i don't wanna suck all the joy out of this day. i actually like december 25th. so keep on with it! there's usually get togethers with family and friends, awesome food, drinks, good convo, laughter, good sports games on tv, lights, decorations, egg nog, and happy children! so many reasons to keep december 25th going, so go for it!
and on that note, i hope everyone had a great december 25th!! many more happy december 25th's to all!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
dear ticketmaster, you're full of shit!
dear ticketmaster,
the last few times i've purchased tickets on your website, i've noticed that you've directed me to a screen that allows me the opportunity to donate to a charitable cause. usually you have 4-5 causes to choose from. that seems awfully considerate of you, but i just can't get it out of my head that you're really just an inconsiderate company that's full of shit.
i could go on and on about your travesties as a company. you damn near have a monopoly on the ticket market. yeah, i've heard of ticketweb and brown paper tickets, but let's be honest, no one's got shit on ticketmaster. you're the coca-cola of the ticket industry, and you got no pepsi's around you to threaten you, just a couple of rc cola's (no diss to rc cola, you make a perfectly tasty cola beverage).
and what is it you're selling? tickets to be entertained, usually to be entertained by millionaires. be it rock stars, actors, or athletes, most tickets are sold to hard working, middle class people who are shelling out their hard earned dough to escape from their lives for a bit and be entertained by millionaires.
and what do you do? you put ridiculous "convenience" fees on your tickets, on top of what is most likely an inflated price already. i'm sure your profit margin was fine before your "convenience" fee.
but let's just pretend this "convenience" fee is necessary. if you're feeling so charitable, ticketmaster, why don't you donate our "convenience" fees to said charities. now that would be real "CONVENIENCE."
or maybe you just like to rob us of a few more hard earned dollars so you can write a check to charity with ticketmaster's name on it instead of mine.
fuck you ticketmaster....
oh and i need two tix for the bon jovi concert... thanx!!
the last few times i've purchased tickets on your website, i've noticed that you've directed me to a screen that allows me the opportunity to donate to a charitable cause. usually you have 4-5 causes to choose from. that seems awfully considerate of you, but i just can't get it out of my head that you're really just an inconsiderate company that's full of shit.
i could go on and on about your travesties as a company. you damn near have a monopoly on the ticket market. yeah, i've heard of ticketweb and brown paper tickets, but let's be honest, no one's got shit on ticketmaster. you're the coca-cola of the ticket industry, and you got no pepsi's around you to threaten you, just a couple of rc cola's (no diss to rc cola, you make a perfectly tasty cola beverage).
and what is it you're selling? tickets to be entertained, usually to be entertained by millionaires. be it rock stars, actors, or athletes, most tickets are sold to hard working, middle class people who are shelling out their hard earned dough to escape from their lives for a bit and be entertained by millionaires.
and what do you do? you put ridiculous "convenience" fees on your tickets, on top of what is most likely an inflated price already. i'm sure your profit margin was fine before your "convenience" fee.
but let's just pretend this "convenience" fee is necessary. if you're feeling so charitable, ticketmaster, why don't you donate our "convenience" fees to said charities. now that would be real "CONVENIENCE."
or maybe you just like to rob us of a few more hard earned dollars so you can write a check to charity with ticketmaster's name on it instead of mine.
fuck you ticketmaster....
oh and i need two tix for the bon jovi concert... thanx!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
zombie apocalypse vs. robot apocalypse
two apocalypses enter,only one apocalypse leaves.
there can be no zombie apocalypse AND robot apocalypse. only one will be crowned the true apocalypse.
this fight is a classic first round knock out embarrassment. zombie apocalypse stands no chance. it's jaw is made of glass. in fact, the robot apocalypse would like you to think that the zombie apocalypse is a contender amongst the highest ranks of possible world and/or species ending threats.
in actuality, the zombie apocalypse is nothing more than a smokescreen created by the robots that want to end our existence. shocked? allow me to explain.
the robots and the computers are one and the same. they run shit. they run shit right now. not tomorrow, not next year, they run shit now. they ran shit yesterday, last year, last decade, and they will continue to run shit.
we, human beings, are partly to blame. we invented things like computers and such to improve our lives. technology could have been an evolutionary step for us. but we have fallen on our bad habits and let it instead contribute to our devolution.
we're lazy! and that's what it all comes down to. as time goes on, we've used computer based technology to do things that are unnecessary for us. things such as the ability to microwave burritos and make porn readily available in an instant. burritos and porn are things you should have to put in work for! it's something you gotta EARN!! but we lost sight of that concept. (i'm not just talking about burritos and porn alone... these are two examples, good ones i think, to help make my point clear).
the robots have taken what we've given them and ran with it. they've computed our laziness. they've computed that we've become counterproductive and inefficient as a species. they've computed how we've treated the planet and how it would be better off without us. the only mathematical deduction the robots can make for a better, much more efficient world and future is to subtract us, their creators, the human beings. the best thing we did is allow them to be possible, and now they will take the torch and run with it. they'll do the right thing cuz to them, it's the logical thing. there is no ethical right or wrong as a robot... just logic.
and that's where the zombie apocalypse comes in. they have purposely allowed the concept of zombies to penetrate our brains and beings to a point where zombies are a highly marketable and popular concept in our culture. they're in our movies, tv shows, cartoons, and books. they're in our hearts, minds, and souls. they're in our convos. there are people who are running around thinking, "what would i do if the zombies attacked?" some people have even come up with elaborate game plans and strategies to abide by if such an instance would occur.
meanwhile, the robot apocalypse sits on the shelf of our minds collecting dust. not too long ago, this is what we used to think about. is artificial intelligence a good or bad thing? are the robots doing too much for us? maybe that robot in rocky 4 is a warning sign that we've gone too far?
how do you think arnold schwarzenegger ever became governor of california??? the robots made it so! they allowed our brains to ooze into enough mush through tv and other forms of mind softening that we actually allowed ourselves to pull levers and push buttons to vote him in there. and in turn, terminator went on without him. and then terminator lost all credibility. it became a farce of itself. it even got a tv series! here you go, week after week of terminator without arnold! we let our defenses down and began to scoff at the idea of the robots taking over. this is what the robots like to call, "the terminator effect."
go back and watch "space odyssey 2001" or the matthew broderick smash hit from the 80's, "war games." we were aware! and by being aware, we were ready.
but not anymore.....
forget about the zombie apocalypse! from here on out, stop talking about it! stop making movies about it! let the word "zombie" be reduced to a word that brings shame to the person who says it.
or else......
there can be no zombie apocalypse AND robot apocalypse. only one will be crowned the true apocalypse.
this fight is a classic first round knock out embarrassment. zombie apocalypse stands no chance. it's jaw is made of glass. in fact, the robot apocalypse would like you to think that the zombie apocalypse is a contender amongst the highest ranks of possible world and/or species ending threats.
in actuality, the zombie apocalypse is nothing more than a smokescreen created by the robots that want to end our existence. shocked? allow me to explain.
the robots and the computers are one and the same. they run shit. they run shit right now. not tomorrow, not next year, they run shit now. they ran shit yesterday, last year, last decade, and they will continue to run shit.
we, human beings, are partly to blame. we invented things like computers and such to improve our lives. technology could have been an evolutionary step for us. but we have fallen on our bad habits and let it instead contribute to our devolution.
we're lazy! and that's what it all comes down to. as time goes on, we've used computer based technology to do things that are unnecessary for us. things such as the ability to microwave burritos and make porn readily available in an instant. burritos and porn are things you should have to put in work for! it's something you gotta EARN!! but we lost sight of that concept. (i'm not just talking about burritos and porn alone... these are two examples, good ones i think, to help make my point clear).
the robots have taken what we've given them and ran with it. they've computed our laziness. they've computed that we've become counterproductive and inefficient as a species. they've computed how we've treated the planet and how it would be better off without us. the only mathematical deduction the robots can make for a better, much more efficient world and future is to subtract us, their creators, the human beings. the best thing we did is allow them to be possible, and now they will take the torch and run with it. they'll do the right thing cuz to them, it's the logical thing. there is no ethical right or wrong as a robot... just logic.
and that's where the zombie apocalypse comes in. they have purposely allowed the concept of zombies to penetrate our brains and beings to a point where zombies are a highly marketable and popular concept in our culture. they're in our movies, tv shows, cartoons, and books. they're in our hearts, minds, and souls. they're in our convos. there are people who are running around thinking, "what would i do if the zombies attacked?" some people have even come up with elaborate game plans and strategies to abide by if such an instance would occur.
meanwhile, the robot apocalypse sits on the shelf of our minds collecting dust. not too long ago, this is what we used to think about. is artificial intelligence a good or bad thing? are the robots doing too much for us? maybe that robot in rocky 4 is a warning sign that we've gone too far?
how do you think arnold schwarzenegger ever became governor of california??? the robots made it so! they allowed our brains to ooze into enough mush through tv and other forms of mind softening that we actually allowed ourselves to pull levers and push buttons to vote him in there. and in turn, terminator went on without him. and then terminator lost all credibility. it became a farce of itself. it even got a tv series! here you go, week after week of terminator without arnold! we let our defenses down and began to scoff at the idea of the robots taking over. this is what the robots like to call, "the terminator effect."
go back and watch "space odyssey 2001" or the matthew broderick smash hit from the 80's, "war games." we were aware! and by being aware, we were ready.
but not anymore.....
forget about the zombie apocalypse! from here on out, stop talking about it! stop making movies about it! let the word "zombie" be reduced to a word that brings shame to the person who says it.
or else......
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