an open letter to jaded cashiers

i get it. you don't like your job. maybe it's the bosses or the hours or maybe you're too good for your job. hey, i've been there. i've been you, serving the public eight hours at a time and loathing all parts of the experience. no one likes to be treated like shit and unfortunately people have a tendency to treat cashiers like shit. and that's fucked up and totally not cool. you're mad at the world and you're totally justified in your rage.

but don't take it out on me. i know you need an outlet and i wish you luck in your quest to find one. but i can assure you i'm not that dude. i've seen things from your perspective and i empathize to a degree. my empathy is made blatantly obvious by how well mannered i am in my interactions with cashiers. so please, when i stroll up into the front of the line ready to make my purchase, please don't retort to my politeness with some rude behavior. i'm trying to be a nice guy here. but if you push my buttons, then suddenly i find myself pushed into my own form of cashier rage. here i was just trying to be nice and now i'm getting shitted on for my efforts.

you see what happened there? you're suddenly guilty of being everything you hate in everyone else. people treat you like crap and that makes you mad. you take your anger out on me and maybe you somehow feel better, but you shouldn't. as a cashier, you of all people should know how much it sucks to be treated like crap. and every time you pull that shit on me, i start to feel less and less bad for you. i start to think that maybe you're a douche and you deserve to be where you are, behind that register not enjoying one moment of it.

and please spare me the shopping advice. you not liking your job is not a good reason for you to tell me i shouldn't shop there. yes, i understand, you would never shop here. and i would hope you wouldn't if you hate it so much. but that's not me. i don't have to answer to your asshole bosses. you either work in a place that has excellent prices or a convenient location and there's not much you can say that will convince me that i shouldn't shop here. so thanks, sorta, for the advice. but maybe you should think about the money i spend in this "hellhole," and how part of it ends up in your paycheck.... the same paycheck which i'm sure you spend on shit you enjoy. if everyone decides to stop shopping here, you'll stop receiving paychecks and you'll be out of a job.

but i get it. you can always find another job being a shitty cashier somewhere else.

and to all the cool cashiers out there, i love you and hope you take no offense. i'm a big fan and you should be commended for staying so awesome under such hostile conditions. you're the best of our breed.