the customer is always right / 'going cvs'

the customer is always right.

WRONG!!!

that's bs! that's bs of the highest caliber. it's sayings like this that allow customers to think they're entitled to think like this in the first place, which leads them to walk all over those who work in a soul crushing combat zone known as customer service.

this may be just one of many rants i ever do on asshole customers. this one is inspired by one individual in particular... one dude i encountered at a cvs last night who reminded me of all the other assholes who ever made me feel worthless cuz they wanted to sit on their 'i'm the customer' holier than thou pedestal.

i don't know the dude's name. all i can tell you is that he was a chubby, middle-aged asshole who shops around cvs with a small suitcase on wheels. he first grabbed my attention while i was standing in line. he was at the cashier and all of a sudden i hear him say, 'noooooooooo, i'm not mean, i'm assertive!'

ugh... just like that i filed this douche in the a-hole file.

then some dude behind him, another customer, waiting in line, asks a cashier about a big bag of m and m's that were misplaced in a bin that said '75 cents' on it. so he's like, 'is this 75 cents?'

a cashier at a different register says, 'oh no, sorry, someone put that there by mistake.'

out of nowhere mr. assertive decided to butt in on the convo. 'well that's too bad! it's marked 75 cents, so that's what it is! that's the law!'

now i know some people, maybe even most people will say this dude has a point, and he does. but it's not what he's saying that bothers me, but how he presents it. he butted in on someone else's convo just so he could condescend all up on a kid behind a cash register.

and it's how he ended his statement. 'that's the law!'

my imagination ran wild. i wanted to butt in myself... shit, i wanted to be the cashier... but i remained silent. but this is what i wanted to say:

'it's the LAW? oh yeah mr. assertive? is that a fact? why don't you use your assertiveness and go get yourself an officer then. cuz no one's getting these m and m's for 75 cents, not tonight, not on my watch. go get a cop and arrest me for breaking this precious LAW. since you know so much about the law, maybe you should take me to court. go get yourself a lawyer and take me to court for this awful, awful crime. shit! maybe when the case is over, you'll finally get your 75 cent bag of m and m's! then you could say i told you so and i could say congratulations!'

during my wild day dream, the manager eventually came over and sided with the customers. evil prevails again.

i go into this cvs a lot and this is just one small example of the awful verbal abuse i hear cvs employees take on a daily basis. the people that work there are nice people. i know shit ain't perfect when you go into a cvs. but the people that work there are trying their best to stand there for 8 hours with a smile. be a decent human being.... if something ain't right, approach them like human beings... not like they're less than you. and if you insist you must treat them like crap, may you run into the one who goes postal... so postal that they change the term 'going postal' to 'going cvs.'

'oh shit, did you see that??? he just got all cvs on your ass!' i think that has a good ring to it!

aaa (atheist against assholes)

let me start by getting the obvious out of the way.... yeah, i'm an atheist. i don't believe in a god and i don't believe anything special happens after you die. some people will slowly decompose, me personally, if my last will and testament are followed, i'll flow through the breeze as ashes. that's it... no consciousness.... i don't expect it to feel much like anything... but it's probably a whole lot like before you were born.

that being said, i don't consider myself to be a douchebag atheist. i don't wanna scream on a soapbox about it. i don't wanna be the buzzkill at the party that goes to great lengths to disprove the existence of all that is metaphysical or spiritual when everyone else is just there to try and have a good time (i know you know that dude!) i don't want you to join my new, exciting atheist movement, i don't want you to buy my book. anyone who buys a book about atheism is an asshole, and any person who writes a book about it, AND makes money, is a bigger asshole.

there's no book to write. there's not even a main character. yet some of these blowhards go on writing book after book, these several hundred page borefests that explain what it means to not believe in anything... pages, chapters, books, and total libraries dedicated to NOTHING. they're the seinfeld show of the book world, except pretend seinfeld was never funny and took itself way too seriously. yeah i know, pretty awful to even try and imagine.

i don't think i'm better than anyone else. you won't ever hear me say, 'i won't associate with a christian, jew, scientoligist (or whatever relgion you wanna insert here).' i don't think i'm smarter, cooler, or better looking for it.

and i refuse to think that there's some atheist brotherhood. just because you're a fellow atheist don't automatically make you a friend. you get judged just like anyone else.... are you an asshole? then get away from me. are you cool? great, first beer's on me. if my choices for hanging out are a gang of cool christians or a gaggle of asshole atheists, i'll take the cool christians every time. not only are they cooler than you, but their chicks got no attitude, and just in case i'm wrong about this whole atheist thing, it might help to know some people and have some connections in the great beyond.

so there it is, in summation... i'm josh, i like cool people, can't stand assholes. you will not be judged upon your religion. just don't be a douchebag.