a big thank you to the town of guttenberg, nj for the $63 parking ticket i received on sunday night. i really needed that. $63 for two and a half hours of parking, that's worse than a night out in hoboken, nj. i'll just pretend that's what i did instead. at least hoboken's straight up with their bullshit. is hoboken gonna charge you a lot to park there? y'know it. y'know it going in. they don't shock you with the sticker price at the end of the night when it's too late to do anything about it.
don't get me started on my aversion to tickets for parking permit laws and how ridiculous i think it is that we need to pay for permits so that we can park on the streets of the towns we happen to frequent. it reminds me of every time i used to drive around when i was younger and had nothing better to do and anytime a cop pulled me over, they'd ask, "what are you doing here?" cuz y'know, leaving your town and going to another one is a crime and all. how dare i leave my town of north bergen (which is your neighboring town which also has a stupid parking permit system but at least they give you four hours to move and only charge $42 when they do process the ticket) to come hang out in guttenberg. and to host an open mic i might add. i'd try to convince you that i'm helping add culture to your bleak scene, but really, it's just a bunch of musicians having drunk fun.... lot of drinking going on... cuz that's all there is to do to make time pass by in guttenberg, nj.
it was 11:30pm on a sunday night. i'd like to assume that most people looking for parking in your town are in by that time. but i'm sure the space i took was valuable... or at least it is now.... $63 worth of value to be exact. since you have my $63 now, can i at least advise you on how to spend it? i'd prefer if it went to education or feeding the homeless. or maybe you can give your ticket processors handwriting lessons. the penmanship on my ticket was awful. whoever processed it should be full of shame. whatever you do, don't spend it on something stupid like a, 'welcome to guttenberg,' sign.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
lou reed
i'm quick to admit that i'm not well versed on lou reed. when i was 16, i purchased a cd of velvet underground's greatest hits and that's probably as much play as lou reed ever got in my life. i did listen to that one cd a whole lot though. and at the impressionable age of 16, it meant something to me. they were something of a revelation at the time. from what i understood, they were from hippie times and yet they weren't hippies. they wrote dirty, daring, sometimes odd rock and roll. they weren't tough guys... they were more strange than tough but they were still cool. the sound of the velvet underground was honest and unpolished. they were more soul than science and that was something i could (and still can) get behind.
lou reed seemed to be the kinda famous i could possibly deal with. he wasn't overly famous but famous enough that if you approached him, chances are you were really a fan of his. the cliche about lou reed and the velvet underground is that they didn't sell a lot of albums, but a big percentage of their fan base went on to form bands of their own. a lot of other rock and roll legends have bigger legions of fans, but lou reed's fan base are the 300 spartans of the rock and roll universe. they will fuck some shit up and make a lot a whole lot of noise.
when someone like lou reed dies, i tend to feel bad that i didn't embrace his music more while he was here. it almost feels like cheating for me to consider going on a lou reed listening rampage now. so i can't say that there's a void in my life that now can't be filled. but i feel pretty confident in saying that there'd be a void in rock and roll without lou reed. his influence can be found in every low-fi, low production, any shade of punk, genre since his time. rock and roll's a lot grittier and more blunt because of lou reed. i can't imagine a much more important rock and roll legacy to leave behind.
lou reed seemed to be the kinda famous i could possibly deal with. he wasn't overly famous but famous enough that if you approached him, chances are you were really a fan of his. the cliche about lou reed and the velvet underground is that they didn't sell a lot of albums, but a big percentage of their fan base went on to form bands of their own. a lot of other rock and roll legends have bigger legions of fans, but lou reed's fan base are the 300 spartans of the rock and roll universe. they will fuck some shit up and make a lot a whole lot of noise.
when someone like lou reed dies, i tend to feel bad that i didn't embrace his music more while he was here. it almost feels like cheating for me to consider going on a lou reed listening rampage now. so i can't say that there's a void in my life that now can't be filled. but i feel pretty confident in saying that there'd be a void in rock and roll without lou reed. his influence can be found in every low-fi, low production, any shade of punk, genre since his time. rock and roll's a lot grittier and more blunt because of lou reed. i can't imagine a much more important rock and roll legacy to leave behind.
Friday, October 25, 2013
the regretful 'reading habit for a car' trade
tonight, a friday night, i decided to stay home and finish a book that's taken me forever to read. it's not that i wasn't enjoying it. it's just that my reading habit has been very weak and inconsistent as of late. it's a bummer really but i only have myself to blame. i don't wanna be a dude who isn't always constantly in a book. i enjoy reading and the feeling of eagerly anticipating my next opportunity to get back into a book or start a new one.
it's not that i suddenly enjoy reading any less. what happened is i traded in my healthy reading habit for a car. before i had a car, i read on buses and at bus stops. that alone would usually supply me with a good 20-40 minutes of reading time per day. not only that, but finding myself in a position where i began the day reading set a tone. there's nothing better going on at the bus stop so i'd bury myself in whatever book i was currently reading. i'd get to work and be bummed cuz i had to stop. i'd look for opportunities to try and make time throughout the day to read a few pages here, a few pages there.
now i just wake up and go to work. i've started waking up later. i spent years waking up 45 minutes earlier than i do now. and suddenly going back to waking up that early seems criminal. even when i was taking buses everywhere, i always tried to squeeze in as much sleep as possible. the bus just forced me to get up earlier and created a convenient space for reading. i'm really at odds with my own desire for convenience... like the convenience to stay in my warm bed till the last possible second without being late for work.
so tonight i found myself home with no plans. i tried to embrace it by finishing this book once and for all. i'm almost embarrassed by how long it took. but it's over... and it was enjoyable. sure, there were thoughts of me wandering to a local pub, catching a brew, or maybe texting friends to see if anything could be made of tonight. but i fought through all of that and kept reading. and here i am, so satisfied with the results, that i've somehow squeezed multiple paragraphs out of the experience.
reading is cool and i'm a reader. i hope tonight was a step in the right direction and back onto the path of recovering my once healthy and habitual reading habit.
it's not that i suddenly enjoy reading any less. what happened is i traded in my healthy reading habit for a car. before i had a car, i read on buses and at bus stops. that alone would usually supply me with a good 20-40 minutes of reading time per day. not only that, but finding myself in a position where i began the day reading set a tone. there's nothing better going on at the bus stop so i'd bury myself in whatever book i was currently reading. i'd get to work and be bummed cuz i had to stop. i'd look for opportunities to try and make time throughout the day to read a few pages here, a few pages there.
now i just wake up and go to work. i've started waking up later. i spent years waking up 45 minutes earlier than i do now. and suddenly going back to waking up that early seems criminal. even when i was taking buses everywhere, i always tried to squeeze in as much sleep as possible. the bus just forced me to get up earlier and created a convenient space for reading. i'm really at odds with my own desire for convenience... like the convenience to stay in my warm bed till the last possible second without being late for work.
so tonight i found myself home with no plans. i tried to embrace it by finishing this book once and for all. i'm almost embarrassed by how long it took. but it's over... and it was enjoyable. sure, there were thoughts of me wandering to a local pub, catching a brew, or maybe texting friends to see if anything could be made of tonight. but i fought through all of that and kept reading. and here i am, so satisfied with the results, that i've somehow squeezed multiple paragraphs out of the experience.
reading is cool and i'm a reader. i hope tonight was a step in the right direction and back onto the path of recovering my once healthy and habitual reading habit.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
you can always quit
last night i saw a comedian quit at an open mic. two jokes in and then he told the room, "i can't do this anymore. this just isn't me." he gave the mic back to the host and made his exit. he was chased by a couple of fellow comics but he never returned. it was the most honest statement i've ever heard at a comedy open mic. it's something i won't soon forget. i didn't know him before that night and now he'll be burned into my memory as if he was someone i was always familiar with.
you sit through enough open mics and sometimes you stop hearing words. you just see people on microphones and what they're trying to sell you. making people laugh, that's the big sell. and there's nothing faker than a salesman. this is no slight on the craft of stand up comedy. but even at its realest, stand up comedy is no more than caricatures of the people behind the words. what this comic did last night was obliterate the mold and give a room full of comics the realest bit they'll ever hear. sure, he had to quit to make it possible, but it's nice to know total and absolute honesty is still possible.
why even attempt convincing him to come back? what would be the point after that performance? a man that in touch with who he is should only come back on his own volition. i don't hope he stays away from comedy. i hope he gets closer to who he is. it was a fresh reminder that there's nothing more important than being true to yourself. that gets lost in the punchline sometimes. the laughs feel a little too good and can cause those who are less in tune with themselves to stray from what really matters.
it was also nice to be reminded that we don't have to do this. we can walk out the door anytime we like and never look back and lose nothing for doing so. this isn't about trapping yourself within a habit that's been sucked of all joy. don't be a comic because you think you have to or because you trapped yourself into the classification. be a comic because that's what you want to be. and know that at any moment, you can stop being a comic, especially if it prohibits you from being yourself.
because comics need to be themselves more. i've watched and listened as i've seen several comics drag their characters offstage and force it into all other aspects of their lives. you can take the mask off as soon as you step off the stage. you can be you. you should be you. anything else besides that is fake. don't be an impostor. that's not why we're here, right? if so, maybe you should consider walking out the door.
maybe the comic who quit last night saw what was coming down the comedic path and he knew better because he knew what it took for him to stay true to himself. he was a stranger to me before last night and now i'll never forget him quitting and the lesson that he inadvertently taught me.
you sit through enough open mics and sometimes you stop hearing words. you just see people on microphones and what they're trying to sell you. making people laugh, that's the big sell. and there's nothing faker than a salesman. this is no slight on the craft of stand up comedy. but even at its realest, stand up comedy is no more than caricatures of the people behind the words. what this comic did last night was obliterate the mold and give a room full of comics the realest bit they'll ever hear. sure, he had to quit to make it possible, but it's nice to know total and absolute honesty is still possible.
why even attempt convincing him to come back? what would be the point after that performance? a man that in touch with who he is should only come back on his own volition. i don't hope he stays away from comedy. i hope he gets closer to who he is. it was a fresh reminder that there's nothing more important than being true to yourself. that gets lost in the punchline sometimes. the laughs feel a little too good and can cause those who are less in tune with themselves to stray from what really matters.
it was also nice to be reminded that we don't have to do this. we can walk out the door anytime we like and never look back and lose nothing for doing so. this isn't about trapping yourself within a habit that's been sucked of all joy. don't be a comic because you think you have to or because you trapped yourself into the classification. be a comic because that's what you want to be. and know that at any moment, you can stop being a comic, especially if it prohibits you from being yourself.
because comics need to be themselves more. i've watched and listened as i've seen several comics drag their characters offstage and force it into all other aspects of their lives. you can take the mask off as soon as you step off the stage. you can be you. you should be you. anything else besides that is fake. don't be an impostor. that's not why we're here, right? if so, maybe you should consider walking out the door.
maybe the comic who quit last night saw what was coming down the comedic path and he knew better because he knew what it took for him to stay true to himself. he was a stranger to me before last night and now i'll never forget him quitting and the lesson that he inadvertently taught me.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
stopping gay marriage
if you're the type that thinks allowing gay people to marry one another is going to ruin the institution of marriage, it's probably you that's the real threat. if you think that the rules of marriage should apply to what type of people can marry each other, then you've got it all wrong and don't know anything about the concept of love. not allowing gay people who love each other to get married is just as crazy as not allowing people of different races who are in love to marry each other. the only prerequisite marriage needs is love. it doesn't matter what type, shape, or size of person you happen to be. what matters is that two people love each other so much that they wanna acknowledge it out loud.
the only kind of marriage i could never understand would be the marriage of two people who don't love each other. and i have a hard time understanding anyone who can't understand that. if you're able to look at two people in love, and find some other reason why they shouldn't marry each other, then you shouldn't be acknowledged as a source of authority on the subject of marriage in the first place. what else is there to marriage besides love?
if you think the definition of marriage should be anything beyond the realm of two people in love, you'd probably be a sucky person to marry. if you're the type of person who would say, "well i'd marry this person i'm absolutely in love with if it weren't for (fill in the blank)," and you're able to fill in the blank with anything at all, then it's you who's corrupted the concept of marriage. it's you who took the purity out of it. it's you who probably shouldn't be allowed to get married because you've missed the point.
the only kind of marriage i could never understand would be the marriage of two people who don't love each other. and i have a hard time understanding anyone who can't understand that. if you're able to look at two people in love, and find some other reason why they shouldn't marry each other, then you shouldn't be acknowledged as a source of authority on the subject of marriage in the first place. what else is there to marriage besides love?
if you think the definition of marriage should be anything beyond the realm of two people in love, you'd probably be a sucky person to marry. if you're the type of person who would say, "well i'd marry this person i'm absolutely in love with if it weren't for (fill in the blank)," and you're able to fill in the blank with anything at all, then it's you who's corrupted the concept of marriage. it's you who took the purity out of it. it's you who probably shouldn't be allowed to get married because you've missed the point.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
a true story about sucking at fantasy football
i should be good at fantasy football. i enjoy watching football immensely. i used to play dungeons and dragons when i was a teenager. aren't those two of the most important qualities to run a fantasy football franchise? i have the dorky imagination that has imagined waaay crazier things than me managing a fake team of real football players taking on another fake team of real football players. sometimes i wonder why i didn't think of the idea myself in my most dorkiest of phases when i'd actually try and create my own role playing/dice/card/paper and pencil games.
i'm not a pro athlete. i sucked at gym in school. being good at sports in real life is something i've never had a knack for. despite my nonathletic ways, i've always sorta been good at watching sports on tv and talking about it with other people. that's all the more reason i should be impassioned to be the greatest fantasy football general manager yahoo sports has ever seen. this is my time to prove that i belong in the realm of sports. sure, i'm no football player and i have no idea what it really takes to be one. but i got the brains (or i'd like to think i do) to run a team of them. savvy back office guy who makes all the right moves is supposed to be my dream roll. and here i am, year in, year out, with a chance to prove my worth, and i squander it.
i told myself at the beginning of this season that if i don't place in the top 3 of either of my leagues (i'm in two separate leagues this year) at the end of the season, then that's it. i'm hanging it up, retiring for good. fantasy football obviously doesn't want me and i don't wanna be kicked around anymore waiting for a far fetched season of redemption. as of this moment, i'm 2-4 in both leagues. it's not looking good. sure, things could go my way from here on out and maybe either team could catch fire. but that's what i always tell myself. i try to make some moves to instigate change but it almost never gets better.
i know that if i find myself at the bottom of both leagues, i'll be totally deflated at season's end and ready to write off fantasy football altogether. but it's that offseason that does it to me. it's in the anticipation... waiting for football, easily my favorite sport to watch, to return. bumming my way through boring ol' baseball season. with every new season comes another sense of hope. this year it'll be different. this year i'll make all the right moves. this year i'll have the draft that sees my team secure a championship. and when i get that team, day one, that most beautiful of fantasy football days, that's my team. when my record is 0-0, there is nothing but hope and the idea that i, josh wells, can fucking do this.
and then i suck all over again. what a viscous cycle.
i'm not a pro athlete. i sucked at gym in school. being good at sports in real life is something i've never had a knack for. despite my nonathletic ways, i've always sorta been good at watching sports on tv and talking about it with other people. that's all the more reason i should be impassioned to be the greatest fantasy football general manager yahoo sports has ever seen. this is my time to prove that i belong in the realm of sports. sure, i'm no football player and i have no idea what it really takes to be one. but i got the brains (or i'd like to think i do) to run a team of them. savvy back office guy who makes all the right moves is supposed to be my dream roll. and here i am, year in, year out, with a chance to prove my worth, and i squander it.
i told myself at the beginning of this season that if i don't place in the top 3 of either of my leagues (i'm in two separate leagues this year) at the end of the season, then that's it. i'm hanging it up, retiring for good. fantasy football obviously doesn't want me and i don't wanna be kicked around anymore waiting for a far fetched season of redemption. as of this moment, i'm 2-4 in both leagues. it's not looking good. sure, things could go my way from here on out and maybe either team could catch fire. but that's what i always tell myself. i try to make some moves to instigate change but it almost never gets better.
i know that if i find myself at the bottom of both leagues, i'll be totally deflated at season's end and ready to write off fantasy football altogether. but it's that offseason that does it to me. it's in the anticipation... waiting for football, easily my favorite sport to watch, to return. bumming my way through boring ol' baseball season. with every new season comes another sense of hope. this year it'll be different. this year i'll make all the right moves. this year i'll have the draft that sees my team secure a championship. and when i get that team, day one, that most beautiful of fantasy football days, that's my team. when my record is 0-0, there is nothing but hope and the idea that i, josh wells, can fucking do this.
and then i suck all over again. what a viscous cycle.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
hammer (this is about the gov't shutdown)
when the government shuts down, i don't know if the politicians are becoming more disappointing over time or if they've always been this disappointing and the realization only becomes more obvious to me as i age. or maybe i'm disappointed in myself. i had to have some sorta expectations in place to set myself up to be disappointed in the first place. why did i aim so high? what makes me think they've ever really had our best interests in mind? why do i look to a body of government to conduct itself in a way that would improve the overall quality of life for everyone? sure, they're dysfunctional, but maybe i'm the one with the real issue here. maybe it's time i shut it down and stop waiting for a better tomorrow presented by the representatives we boldly voted into their positions.
burning deep inside of me is an idealistic kid who believes in a government that is of and for the people. this inner idealistic child thinks we're somehow capable to will this current form of government into that noble vision. with age, it's become more apparent that this is like cramming the square peg into the circle hole. but that inner child of mine screams out, "PICK UP A FUCKIN' HAMMER AND MAKE IT WORK!" i love that part of me... it's the part of me that still thinks that i and everyone else in this country can make a difference. all we have to do is pick up our hammers and start slamming away. that part of me thinks we can hammer our way into not just a better country but a better world as well. and the older me doesn't want that part of me to die.
sometimes it feels foolish to think this sorta stuff. but i won't let it go. it fuels me. if i ever put down my hammer and give up completely, i'd be disconnecting myself totally from passion and hope. i'd feel soulless and incomplete. so even if it takes the harsh realization that this government of ours has failed us time and time again, i won't let that completely beat me down. i won't totally give in. i owe it to myself to not give up.
cuz deep down this is more about me than anyone or anything else. this is about what i want and what i see fit for the world. and if i never get to see what i want come to pass, i have to go on at least convincing myself that i'm somehow bringing this whole shit show closer to my vision. and in the meantime, i'll try and curb my expectations. i'll try and keep in mind that for the most part, our government is run by very selfish people who stick to their own agenda and make no room for compromise. sure, that's a sloppy way to conduct business on a political level, but they are only human and subject to their own stupid, selfish desires.
and i'll keep my hammer in hand. i won't compromise that. i may never see the day when a square peg victoriously occupies a round space, but i'll keep on hammering till i can hammer no more.
burning deep inside of me is an idealistic kid who believes in a government that is of and for the people. this inner idealistic child thinks we're somehow capable to will this current form of government into that noble vision. with age, it's become more apparent that this is like cramming the square peg into the circle hole. but that inner child of mine screams out, "PICK UP A FUCKIN' HAMMER AND MAKE IT WORK!" i love that part of me... it's the part of me that still thinks that i and everyone else in this country can make a difference. all we have to do is pick up our hammers and start slamming away. that part of me thinks we can hammer our way into not just a better country but a better world as well. and the older me doesn't want that part of me to die.
sometimes it feels foolish to think this sorta stuff. but i won't let it go. it fuels me. if i ever put down my hammer and give up completely, i'd be disconnecting myself totally from passion and hope. i'd feel soulless and incomplete. so even if it takes the harsh realization that this government of ours has failed us time and time again, i won't let that completely beat me down. i won't totally give in. i owe it to myself to not give up.
cuz deep down this is more about me than anyone or anything else. this is about what i want and what i see fit for the world. and if i never get to see what i want come to pass, i have to go on at least convincing myself that i'm somehow bringing this whole shit show closer to my vision. and in the meantime, i'll try and curb my expectations. i'll try and keep in mind that for the most part, our government is run by very selfish people who stick to their own agenda and make no room for compromise. sure, that's a sloppy way to conduct business on a political level, but they are only human and subject to their own stupid, selfish desires.
and i'll keep my hammer in hand. i won't compromise that. i may never see the day when a square peg victoriously occupies a round space, but i'll keep on hammering till i can hammer no more.
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