the punk rock parent paradox

there comes a time in the life of many punk rockers, after they meet another punk rocker of the opposite sex that they wanna spend the rest of their lives with, that they decide they wanna bring a brand new little baby punk rocker into this world and increase the punk rock population.

it's an adorable thought.... what punk rock parent wouldn't wanna raise their little ones in a totally punk rock environment? raise them on punk rock music. dress them up in punk rock clothes. bring them to shows at 5 years old and teach them to do punk rock things like give authority figures the middle finger.

and just like that, your little punk rock tribe is complete and your family tree now officially has a punk rock branch.

the only problem is you can't force your child to grow up to be a punk rock person. sure, you can dress them up as a child, but eventually they'll reach an age where they wanna make their own decisions and who knows what the fuck they'll choose at that point.

but if they're anything like you with your punk rock ways, they'll probably choose to rebel against the most obvious authority figures of them all... their parents. the only reason you became punk rock was because you were rebelling against something. and kudos to you for that!

but if the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, your kids will probably rebel against everything you stand for. they'll wear polo shirts and listen to josh groban albums. you'll shove guitars in their face but they'll say, "fuck you mom and dad, i'm playing the flute. i'm a flautist!" they'll go to church and join the military and vote republican.

and that's just what you should want them to do if you want them to be like you. this is the punk rock parent paradox. the essence of punk rock is rebellion. nothing's more rebellious than ending up being nothing like your parents. but because they'll rebel so hard against the ways of punk rock, they'll truly be punk rock deep down inside, making them just like you.