what's with all the facebook invites, josh?

every now and again i get a friend who keeps it real with me and tells me that i send out too many event invites on facebook. i've even had a person or two tell me that it's annoying. and hey, i get it. they manifest on your end as just another pesky notification for something that you're not interested in. it's basically spam to you. you don't use the word, "spam," but that's what you mean. if you had a junk folder, you'd forward it to that.

here's the thing... i'm a dude who likes to tell jokes on microphones in front of people. the more people the better. and that's where the invites come in. i really want as many people as possible to come out and be a part of the audience. i'm sure all other musicians and artists feel the same way. we're not trying to annoy you. we really wanna see your face in the crowd. if there's no crowd, then there's no art form. i'm also highly unfamous so it's not like i got representation or publicity of any sort. facebook's all i got. it's cheap and easy.

and yes, i click on everyone when i send out the invites. why? why can't i at least not include out of towners? because it's so much easier for me to blindly click on everyone's name then it is to sit and think about every single person for a moment. so yes, friends from california, you will from time to time receive an invite for a show in the depths of jersey that i don't expect you to fly in for. all i really expect from you is that you politely ignore the invite on facebook and move on (in my defense, i do sometimes try to seed out the out-of-towners but my method's not perfect).

and you're my friend right? that's the reason we're connected on facebook. or that's supposed to be anyways. if we're not really friends, and my constant invites annoy you, then maybe you should stop with the sham and unfriend me. go ahead. i dare you. facebook became this thing where we accept this connection with people we don't really care about and then get all annoyed when they use this connection to reach out to us. that's really more of a 'you' issue. unfriend or quit your bitching.

also, notifications. i know, some of, if not most of, you have your cellphone notify you of a notification the moment it drops. let me tell you what i do. my cell phone doesn't notify me of facebook updates. why? because i chose to turn that shit off. i'm not a slave to facebook. i utilize it often, but i go to facebook on my time. i'm not willing to jump on facebook every single time my phone tells me there's yet another update. free yourself from those social networking chains that bind you. if my invites annoy you for this reason, then i choose to see myself as a freedom fighter trying to set you free. i'm doing this for you.

i don't expect all of you to come see me perform live. i dropped those sorta lofty expectations some time ago. you think receiving my invites are annoying? let me tell you what annoying is. annoying is performing all these comedy shows in odd venues like bars and basements and not seeing any of your friends come out to support. annoying is going home after a questionable set wondering why no one comes out to support you only to hear someone say, 'ugh, facebook invites are so annoying.' i don't expect you to come out to my shows. i just expect you to not be such a whiny snot every time i invite you to one.