a big thank you to the town of guttenberg, nj for the $63 parking ticket i received on sunday night. i really needed that. $63 for two and a half hours of parking, that's worse than a night out in hoboken, nj. i'll just pretend that's what i did instead. at least hoboken's straight up with their bullshit. is hoboken gonna charge you a lot to park there? y'know it. y'know it going in. they don't shock you with the sticker price at the end of the night when it's too late to do anything about it.
don't get me started on my aversion to tickets for parking permit laws and how ridiculous i think it is that we need to pay for permits so that we can park on the streets of the towns we happen to frequent. it reminds me of every time i used to drive around when i was younger and had nothing better to do and anytime a cop pulled me over, they'd ask, "what are you doing here?" cuz y'know, leaving your town and going to another one is a crime and all. how dare i leave my town of north bergen (which is your neighboring town which also has a stupid parking permit system but at least they give you four hours to move and only charge $42 when they do process the ticket) to come hang out in guttenberg. and to host an open mic i might add. i'd try to convince you that i'm helping add culture to your bleak scene, but really, it's just a bunch of musicians having drunk fun.... lot of drinking going on... cuz that's all there is to do to make time pass by in guttenberg, nj.
it was 11:30pm on a sunday night. i'd like to assume that most people looking for parking in your town are in by that time. but i'm sure the space i took was valuable... or at least it is now.... $63 worth of value to be exact. since you have my $63 now, can i at least advise you on how to spend it? i'd prefer if it went to education or feeding the homeless. or maybe you can give your ticket processors handwriting lessons. the penmanship on my ticket was awful. whoever processed it should be full of shame. whatever you do, don't spend it on something stupid like a, 'welcome to guttenberg,' sign.
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I feel your pain. I got a resident parking ticket in G-town...at 8 in the FUCKIN' morning! They don't stop resident parking until 10am. How dare I go and visit my loving mother so early in the morning. Why DAFUQ does that town even exist? It doesn't even have it's own zip code. It shares one with WNY!
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