farting in yoga class

i enrolled in a 12 week yoga course offered through my job. it's once a week and i'm currently three classes into the curriculum. i haven't learned a whole lot about yoga except that it's harder than i thought it was gonna be, i'm clumsier than i thought i was... which speaks volumes cuz i had already considered myself to be a clumsy dude, and most importantly, sooner or later, someone's gonna fart.

yoga stretching was made for farting. if you partake in farting contests, you should also partake in yoga. i'm almost certain that if you can find just the right combination of eating selection and yoga pose, you could go on to be some sorta farting contest champion. i don't even know if there is such a thing, but if there is, and you didn't already know this, then you're welcome.

what makes the whole thing more awkward is that i'm in the same space with about 15 of my coworkers, people i see everyday. we all share the same office and spend 40 hours a week trying our best not to fart in each other's presence. we've done ourselves no favors in that mission by signing up for yoga. this will turn out to be 12 hour long sessions of trying really hard not to let one go.

and farting has already happened. i don't know who, i don't wanna know who. and even if i did i wouldn't mention their names cuz i don't wanna associate shame to it. i personally think there should be no shame attached to it. i'm no yoga pro, but i'm willing to bet that the passing of gas happens all the time.

i got into a conversation with a few coworkers about the ethics of farting in yoga class. that tells you two things.....

one- we all know in the back of our heads that farting is going to happen in yoga.

two- we all think people should follow some sorta yoga farting ethics which means we've all envisioned ourselves farting in yoga class.

the general consensus was that if you fart in class, you should own up and apologize. at the time, that seemed reasonable. when you talk about farting in yoga class outside of yoga, it probably seems like no big deal. you fart. you apologize. but a few days have passed since that conversation and i've changed my mind.

i think the thing about farting in yoga class is that if you're the farter, you're not sure if everyone in the class heard you. maybe you got away with one. you'd probably glance around real quick to catch any possible reactions. but if nothing's said out loud and no one's giving any sign that they know you farted, why would you go out of your way in the middle of downward dog to let the rest of the class know, "oops, my bad. i farted ya'll?" just doesn't seem to make much sense in the heat of the moment.

so i think the new rule should be that if you fart and it's obvious to everyone else in the class, then maybe you should acknowledge it with an apology. but if you think you got away with one, then i say you bring it to your grave... or to your friends who don't take yoga and mock you for it.

most importantly, i don't think anyone should look down upon anyone else who farts in yoga class. it's gonna happen. everyone farts so you shouldn't be a dick to someone else cuz they accidentally did what you're concentrating really hard on not doing. we can't all be perfect, buddy. cut a farter some slack.

plus, farts are funny. and if you don't think so, then you're one of those aliens among us i hear so much about.

ps- i never farted in yoga class.

pps- yet.