"hey! slow down! you're making me look bad!"

the rain finally broke at the beginning of my eighth lap around the lake. it was glorious.

the heat and humidity beat down on me for the first seven laps. an eight mile run is hard enough in perfect conditions. all i could do was try and grind through it, rancid blaring though my headphones the whole way. the music was my soundtrack. the plot reaches it's climax when i, a dude who hardly believes in a god or any form of higher power, wishes he could somehow pray for rain.

not that this would be some miracle. storm clouds loomed over in the distance the whole time. i watched them, hoping they'd come closer. they took their time and at some point i told myself to not count on storm clouds to get me through today. i was gonna do all ten laps i had set out to do whether the rain came to cool me off or not.

there was something so awesome about that moment when the rain began, when it started to pour down hard. when i looked around and saw the look on people's faces... the people that came out to the lake to chill out and enjoy the sunshine. it was a look of disappointment and surrender cuz they knew the rain had finally come and it was serious about ruining their fun filled outing in the sun.

it's not that i get joy out of watching their days get ruined. but one person's storm cloud is another person's oasis. people disappeared and i soon felt alone as i ran around the lake... just me, the geese, and the storm clouds that had finally decided to make their presence known.

i encountered a few other random people as i looked to finish up my last three laps. the only one that stuck out was an older dude, if i had to guess his age, i'd say in the 55-60 range. he was running at a slow pace, maybe as slow as someone could possibly run. but he was putting in time. i lost exact count, but we were running in opposite directions and i crossed his path at least five times.

the first couple of times we passed each other, nothing was said. we passed each other in silence. this is customary for me. i consider it the status quo of runner etiquette at the lake. i don't say much to other runners. sometimes there's a shared head nod... i guess to acknowledge to each other what awesome human beings we are for running.

then around the third time we ran past each other, he gave me the thumbs up. cool. i gave it right back. i appreciate that. i like some runner camaraderie. every now and then i'll encounter things like this. i'll run past another runner and they'll say something semi-inspirational like, "keep it up!" and i'll throw something right back at them like, "we're better than everybody else!" (okay, i've never said that, but i should). one time i ran into a friend who was also running at the lake, and she went for the high five. that was awesome. that's probably the closest i'll ever get to the feeling of winning at team sports.

so the next time the older dude runs past me, i throw him the thumbs up first. he gives it right back. and now we have a bond. the next time i saw him, the rain had already started. he seemed to be in total 'who gives a fuck mode' and had his shirt off. it's pouring as we're about to cross paths. i yell out at him, "best weather we've had all day!" he chuckles (i don't know if it was funny, but he's a cool dude for throwing the chuckle out there regardless).

next time i see him is the last time. i'm on lap ten. i'm ready to call it a day. he says to me, "hey, slow down! you're making me look bad!" i said to him, "you gotta keep it going! i'm finished! this is it for me." shortly thereafter, i finished lap ten and walked home in the rain.

i wish i had said something better in response to him. i wish i told him that i can't possibly make him look bad. i wish i could've told him how much i respect him for being out there, much older than me, and running many laps, not letting the rain stop him. i couldn't possibly make him look bad. he's making a former version of me look bad. 25 year old josh would be embarrassed by this dude. 25 year old josh didn't have much hope of looking into the future and seeing himself as a runner in his 50's. in this moment, there's no one awesomer to me than this old man. cuz when i run past that old man, i hope i'm running past me. i hope that when i'm in my 50's, i'm still out at the lake doing laps... in the rain no less. putting in time and exhausting myself and still with enough resolve to throw thumbs ups and words of encouragement at other runners.

if i slow down now, i'll never be where you are. you're an inspiration, a reason for me to never slow down. i know he said it jokingly... but i got nothing but admiration for the older runners out there. there's nothing that looks bad about an old dude who's still got it and who's still invested in himself enough to go out for recreational runs. look bad? no way old dude. you're much too awesome for that.