pop culture has no monsters

when i woke up and realized that people were losing their shit over what miley cyrus did at the vma's last night (aka- hannah fuckin' montana) that's when i also realized that pop culture is desperately lacking monsters. REAL monsters. they lost their way somewhere. we've been given way more outlets to create and consume pop culture monsters and yet the quality of the monster has weakened... almost to the point of nonexistence.

it used to be that you had to be marilyn manson, self proclaimed anti-christ to raise some eyebrows. or you had to be n.w.a., self proclaimed gangster rappers who put the word, 'niggaz,' in their name. or maybe you were snoop dogg and you performed a song at the vma's about being wanted for murder while you were actually wanted for murder. REAL fucking monsters.

sometimes axl rose wouldn't show up to a gig and a riot would happen. sometimes rappers would say the wrong thing and someone would get shot. i remember when axl rose threatened to beat up kurt cobain and when vince neil challenged axl rose to a fist fight (vince neil also killed someone in a drunk driving accident). the drummer of def leppard lost a whole fucking arm due to street racing, got that shit amputated, and kept drumming. what a fucking monster! ozzy bit the head off of a bat. anything the sex pistols ever did while a tv camera was filming.  billy corgan once showed up to an ecw wrestling event and beat somebody up with a guitar. sinead o'connor once tore a picture of the pope in half on snl. a deranged motherfucker charged a stage one night and shot dimebag darrell dead.

i'm not applauding or celebrating any of this. i'm definitely not trying to encourage monstrous behavior. but i think we can put the outrage away. maybe we should be happy that the worst thing we got going on is miley cyrus twerking it up with the son of the dad from the tv show, 'growing pains.' miley cyrus is not a monster. to try and label her as one is to take monsters too lightly. in all likelihood, somewhere out there is a sleeping dragon who's observing all of this and thinking, "this weak shit pisses everybody off? oh wait till they get a load of me."