you never hear anyone talk about what a great running back i was anymore. it's like that was a lifetime ago... forgotten due to choices i've made since my nfl heyday.
i won a heisman trophy and an nfl mvp award in my life. i proved myself to be the best in the world at football on all levels. everyone knew it. i had nothing to prove to anyone that my performance on the field didn't already scream out loud.
joe pa. i have a nickname too. they call me "the juice." well not much anymore.... no one wants to say the phrase, "the juice is loose," in reference to me. i've been told that it just doesn't flow so easily out of people's mouths like it used to.
i sit in a cell day after day wondering why i've been damned to this existence. how did i fall from grace? the glove didn't fit. everyone saw it on tv. people wanna know why i would consider writing a book called, 'if i did it?' i guess it has something to do with the demons i've lived with for years now. i was sealed as guilty by public opinion long before a jury of my peers ruled otherwise. when the whole world relentlessly refers to you as a monster, sooner or later you start to believe it yourself.
you died joe pa. you left after living a long, full life. you were given the respect you deserved for the majority of your life. one bad decision didn't ruin the next 20- who knows how many years i got left to go. i don't wanna die joe. i wanna live. but i wanna live as "the juice" once more. i want the respect of my peers and the adulation of kids that i took for granted.
one bad decision.
rest in peace joe paterno. you sure as hell wouldn't have been able to live in it. i can tell you that from personal experience.
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