congratulations avery johnson

avery johnson, now former coach of the brooklyn nets, was fired today. i usually feel bad when i hear about someone getting fired from any job. that sucks. there goes so-and-so's livelihood. i start to wonder how much more challenging their life will be now that they don't have the security of a steady pay schedule to get them by. but avery johnson, like any other nba, nfl, nhl, or mlb coach, was fired from a job that paid in millions. if he's not a total moron (i'm almost certain he's not), he's gonna be alright.

being a working schmo myself, i find that there's a certain kind of liberation in being fired. it's even liberating to just think about it happening. all of the sudden i'm consumed by this idea that now that i have all the free time i need, i can really start living. but those all so intoxicating feelings of liberation usually go away the moment i think about rent, food, bills, and the countless other aspects of my life that cost money.

but coaches in pro sports have it different. most of them have the security of millions of dollars in the bank. i almost have a hard time seeing the punishment in being fired at that point. it's a stressful job. you're always getting shit from your bosses and the fans and the media and the entire internet. the hours are long. the travel sucks. you never see your family or friends. in the nba, the coaches even have to adhere to a semi-strict dress code. what a bummer. wanna really punish a coach? make them finish the season coaching a losing team. if you find yourself coaching a losing team mid season, i have reason to believe being fired and taking some of that money you have saved up to go get away somewhere is a lot more welcoming than the idea of a road trip to detroit to play the pistons.

and beyond that, most ex-coaches find many options for soft landing. there's a ridiculous amount of broadcasting jobs thrown at ex-coaches. they can get paid to be speakers or teachers. most of them are able to take a year off and go coach again. they have it made. i'm pretty much beyond convincing that there's anything bad at all about being fired as a coach of a pro sports team. what a luxury it must be to be bad at your job on a national stage and still end up living a great life filled with opportunity and money.

so to coach avery johnson, i say, congratulations! now go get lost. there's a warm beach with fruity drinks with umbrellas in them calling your name. who needs the nba anyways?