crash and burn

when you land in a pit and don't see me, just know that i died first. i haven't seen anything for a while. this is nothing new for me. the concept of seeing nothing is old, boring and predictable. to think, this caused tremors of terror to run through my body way back when. but it's nothing. you'll get the hang of it. you have no choice. when the bulb burns out, you can't buy a new one. you are the bulb. you'll be removed and that will make room for someone else to come through and do the exact same mundane shit you just did. this isn't a big deal. it's happening all the time. it's happened countless times before you. countless. people way younger and weaker have already surpassed this hurdle. don't cry now. don't you know that in this moment, you might possibly cement a legacy that you'll never have control over again? and sure, you might say, "no big deal," and, "you don't care." and you're right. but you don't mean it when you say it. your words don't match your gut.

so c'mon, this is it! suck it in for all it's worth. after this, you'll never care again. you'll be relieved of that duty. i know it sounds crazy. but you adapt quick. you have no choice. and in the end, maybe that's what this whole thing is about. a whole career spent in the driver's seat only to realize that in the bigger scheme of things, you never drove this machine in the first place. good luck finding the pilot. there's no 1-800 number to call and file a complaint with. you're gonna crash and burn baby! and you've spent a whole lifetime trying to pretend  you didn't know that.

this is no big deal.
this is nothing.