the nice guy paradox

i wanna be a nice guy. sometimes that's all i strive to be, is just a nice dude. seems simple enough and in some simplistic way, i'll think that maybe just being a nice dude is all i need to do... that the benefits of being a nice dude will carry me through life and all will be well.

but it's impossible to be a nice dude all the time, and for many reasons.

nice guys get fucked over a lot. and this ain't no emo rant about girls breaking my heart. it's so much more than that. this world has got the capacity to be cruel... or maybe not even cruel, just emotionally vacant. whatever makes hurricanes and earthquakes happen has something to do with nature. it's like nature can be the cruelest force known to us but it's not purposely being cruel, that's just nature being its neutral self. it doesn't have a score to settle. it doesn't get angered, and in a fit decides to do awful things to people. it just is. and that's it.

and this force runs everything else in the world. it doesn't think. it just does. and that's a lot to handle if you're a nice guy. bad things are going to happen. you can be as nice as you want. you can be the nicest dude in the world and live next door to the world's biggest asshole, and if a tornado comes your way, that tornado will in no way judge you both as people and act accordingly. that tornado just might trash your house as your asshole neighbor points and laughs. there's nothing, no epic amount of niceness, that can stop this from happening.

and that's discouraging. sure it's cool to be nice just for the sake of being nice... but i think a lot of being nice is cuz people like it when other people are nice to them... y'know the whole golden rule thing.

but there's too many things beyond our control and no matter what kind of person you are, you're gonna find yourself on the receiving end of a lot of shit that you in no way deserve.

and then there's assholes... assholes purposely fuck over nice guys. bullies steal milk money and in most cases it's a nice dude who's giving up that milk money. being nice sorta makes you a mark. many of your bosses, coworkers, friends, acquaintances, enemies, and everyone else in between will usually find some way to fuck you over, and it's usually to their own benefit.

this is where a lot of nice guys go asshole. me personally, i feel like i gotta put a little asshole out there in the world. it's nothing personal. it's the only way i can put a defense up that says, "HEY, DON'T FUCK WITH ME!"

and here's where the paradox starts setting in deep. i don't like when people are assholes towards me... but then again i sorta understand cuz maybe under that asshole-ness is a nice guy who's trying to fight off a world that loves to fuck him over.

but i hate when people aren't nice. anyone who isn't nice leaves me wondering, "what the fuck is their problem?" and then all of the sudden i'm reflecting negatively on them and suddenly, just like that, i've lost all my niceness for the moment.

i'd love to say why can't we all just be nice and get along and whatnot... but i don't think shit will ever work like that. if 6 billion people all agreed to be nice to each other all the time, eventually some asshole would come along and take advantage of that... and they'd keep taking advantage of that until all the nice people stopped being so fucking nice.

i don't know.... i hate to say you shouldn't be a nice guy... cuz when it comes to enjoying life, nobody likes an asshole... so you should try to not be an asshole.. but eventually you will be cuz if you're not, someone's gonna try to steal your milk money.