just let bill cosby have cookies or why marriage scares me

in bill cosby's latest stand up special, he tells a story about having to hide eating cookies from his wife. they go out to eat and there's a bakery in the restaurant and he has to lie and say he's going to the bathroom to go eat two cookies. that's as much as i'm gonna explain cuz you should just watch the special yourself, it's motherfucking bill cosby.

anyways... while listening to him go on about these cookies, i'm thinking to myself, this is the living legend. this is bill cosby. if bill cosby wants to have two cookies, bill cosby should have two cookies. on top of being bill cosby, he also doesn't drink or smoke. cookies are his big thrill. i can't understand why a man of his stature at his age can't just have two cookies without feeling somewhat guilty about it.

the reason he feels guilty is because of his wife. if bill cosby's wife isn't gonna let him eat cookies, what luck do i have if i find myself in that scenario? here i was just trying to not be alone in the world, trying my hand at love and the happily ever after, and now i'm in my 70's and i can't eat cookies. i don't know if that's the life for me.

sure, maybe i can find a wife who won't restrict me from eating cookies. maybe i'll get out there and meet the biggest cookie enabler around. maybe i can add 'must like cookies,' to my list of what i prefer in a mate. but who's to say she'll remain the same over the years? if i met someone today, at about my age, who's to say she won't totally change 40 years from now? what if one day, around age 73, she suddenly wakes up and turns into the wife that won't let her husband eat cookies and just like that, the cookie enabler i fell in love with is gone?

and this is just a matter of cookies. what if i fall for a left leaning, socialist, jets fan who somehow morphs into a, 'neo-conservative who hates everything about football,' type of woman? we're talking decades. people change... a lot. whoever you fall in love with today won't necessarily be that same person for all of time. you can promise to not part till death, but there's no promise that you'll remain the same two people who made that promise on day one.

i guess what i'm really trying to say here is that life's hard and filled with uncertainty. the least we can do is let a spouse enjoy some cookies.