a true story about sucking at fantasy football

i should be good at fantasy football. i enjoy watching football immensely. i used to play dungeons and dragons when i was a teenager. aren't those two of the most important qualities to run a fantasy football franchise? i have the dorky imagination that has imagined waaay crazier things than me managing a fake team of real football players taking on another fake team of real football players. sometimes i wonder why i didn't think of the idea myself in my most dorkiest of phases when i'd actually try and create my own role playing/dice/card/paper and pencil games.

i'm not a pro athlete. i sucked at gym in school. being good at sports in real life is something i've never had a knack for. despite my nonathletic ways, i've always sorta been good at watching sports on tv and talking about it with other people. that's all the more reason i should be impassioned to be the greatest fantasy football general manager yahoo sports has ever seen. this is my time to prove that i belong in the realm of sports. sure, i'm no football player and i have no idea what it really takes to be one. but i got the brains (or i'd like to think i do) to run a team of them. savvy back office guy who makes all the right moves is supposed to be my dream roll. and here i am, year in, year out, with a chance to prove my worth, and i squander it.

i told myself at the beginning of this season that if i don't place in the top 3 of either of my leagues (i'm in two separate leagues this year) at the end of the season, then that's it. i'm hanging it up, retiring for good. fantasy football obviously doesn't want me and i don't wanna be kicked around anymore waiting for a far fetched season of redemption. as of this moment, i'm 2-4 in both leagues. it's not looking good. sure, things could go my way from here on out and maybe either team could catch fire. but that's what i always tell myself. i try to make some moves to instigate change but it almost never gets better.

i know that if i find myself at the bottom of both leagues, i'll be totally deflated at season's end and ready to write off fantasy football altogether. but it's that offseason that does it to me. it's in the anticipation... waiting for football, easily my favorite sport to watch, to return. bumming my way through boring ol' baseball season. with every new season comes another sense of hope. this year it'll be different. this year i'll make all the right moves. this year i'll have the draft that sees my team secure a championship. and when i get that team, day one, that most beautiful of fantasy football days, that's my team. when my record is 0-0, there is nothing but hope and the idea that i, josh wells, can fucking do this.

and then i suck all over again. what a viscous cycle.