clocks

sometimes i look at clocks and forget what time it is immediately. then i'm forced to look again. why did i do that? why did i look at the clock in the first place if i wasn't gonna make a mental note of what time it was? sometimes i think i look at clocks just  to make sure time's still moving. or maybe i'm hoping time's no longer moving and we're stuck and things have slowed down for the first time in the history of timekeeping.

in an ideal world, i'd never look at a clock, watch, or any instrument that helps to tell me what time it is. i'd go to sleep and wake up when i pleased and i'd go about my day no matter what time of day it might be. why do i wake up at noon and feel like i missed the morning? says who? your morning and my morning don't need to take place during the same hours. morning is that first part of your day, no matter what time the clock tells you it is.

i know a world without clocks is impossible. time is a necessary measurement that helps to keep things in order. but sometimes when i'm at work, i feel the pressure of time. i feel it passing. i feel it suppressing me. everything's fine and maintained thanks to the binding of the clock that never stops. sometimes i wanna step up from my desk and scream, "fuck time! i'll do what i want when i want!" and in my imagination that sounds awesome. and i'd like to think everyone around me would think the same thing. they've gotta feel the oppressiveness of time as well, right? i can't be alone? wouldn't this cause a chain reaction that would have everyone damning the measurement of seconds and minutes and doing whatever it is they wanted or needed to do in the time it takes to do it?

"how long will that take you?"
"as long as it takes."
"when will it be finished?"
"when i'm done."

as time slips into the future, new forms of timekeeping are developed. we can keep track of time on cell phones and ipads. it's as if everywhere i turn, there's a time keeping device in sight. we can't escape the measurement of time. and instead of trying to escape, we keep looking for new ways to measure it. eventually clocks will be implanted in our brains and we'll never not know what time it is.

i used to go outside and play as a kid. i'd play with any other kid who was also doing the same thing i was doing at that time... it was all completely random. now kids have play dates. we keep looking to organize our lives and give ourselves more things to be late for.

i'm tired of measuring time. i'm tired of being told what time it is and what time i gotta be there and how long till it happens. countdowns and deadlines. rinse and repeat. over and over. has us all running around in twelve hour circles like the hands on a clock.