ramblings of the sickly and lame

i feel sick and i feel lame. i'm pretty sure i have a cold. it feels like a cold... although there is a part of me that's worried that it's allergies disguised as a cold... i didn't sleep too well last night so i'm thinking maybe lack of sleep + allergies = something that would feel like a cold. but i'm pretty sure it's not cuz it started yesterday with an irritated throat and got a little worse today... with much nose running and sneezing... i guess it's cuz of all the sneezing that i'm afraid it could possibly be allergies.

i only stress the issue cuz i really hope it's not allergies. if i have to choose between allergies to pollen and a cold, i'd rather have a cold. allergies are beyond my control. i don't like the idea that there's something that makes me feel less than 100% and i can't blame myself for it. if it's a cold, i can at least assume it was something i did (or better yet didn't do) that caused me to catch a cold in the first place. it's sorta like a hangover.... it feels shitty, but at least i know who to blame and i can always make myself the outrageous promise that it will never happen again.

the whole thing has me feeling lame. i was offered a ticket to go rock out and see a band tonight (hot water music, if you were curious as to which band) and i turned it down... cuz i'm a baby when i'm sick and i know what me standing around at a show for 3 hours or so will be like... i'll be miserable and not enjoying myself so i figure why be that sad bastard? that sad bastard should just stay home and not try and play nice with the world. i don't feel so awful about it cuz i'm not a super huge fan of the band (that's not a dis, just haven't heard a lot of their stuff). still, just knowing that i chose staying home and trying to get better over going to a show and possibly rocking out makes me feel kinda lame.

i had a really awesome four day weekend before all of this. i'm trying to sell this whole thing to myself as karma for all the awesomeness. i didn't just think i could have four days of awesomeness and get away with it, did i?

and i just finished reading, 'slaughter house-five,' (the kurt vonnegut book)... so in honor of that book, i'm gonna make a list and try and force my brain/soul to time travel back to awesome moments from the past four days:

-roadtrip with kevin, matt, irina! philly!
-finding out our hotel room has a balcony
-trying to find a place to buy beer and realizing the bar next to the hotel has $2 yeunglings
-drinking many of those $2 yeunglings.... talking about getting food, and then just ordering food at the bar
-mike the bartender (his name was mike, right?) cool dude, great bartender
-matt proclaiming, 'i could kick lebron james's ass!'
-COCK SPARRER SHOW!!! (legendary old school punk band, a band i thought i'd never get to see.... every song was a singalong... so much fun)
-looking for a place to drink after the show, went back to mike the bartender and his $2 yeunglings
-buying beer to go from the bar, bs-ing over beers in the room till we knocked out
-cheesesteaks from pat's (matt got one from gino's right after... had a bite of his cheesesteak from gino's, for what it's worth, i say pat's is better. but to each their own)
-barhopping in jersey city with george
-karaoke birthday party in nyc for jacob. THE ACE OF SPADES! THE ACE OF SPADES!
-two 10 mile running sessions around the lake, one on saturday, one on sunday
-lightning bolt tattoo on my calf!
-open mic at the rover. thought it was gonna suck. no one showed up till 11:30pm, then we pretty much had performers till the end of the night.
-much awesome tv watching: nba playoffs, snl hosted by mick jagger (seriously, it was good) and lady gaga on the simpsons (simpsons still got it, i don't care what the kids on the streets say)

so okay, the weekend was pretty fucking awesome. i never want to promote the idea of getting sick, but if every cold i ever catch follows four days of awesomeness, i could be okay with that... even if i seem like a sniveling baby at the moment.

blog over... off to the magical land of my couch where i'll be comforted by soup, tea, and a blanket.