my uncontrollable disdain for humanity

i wanna see the best in people. there's a part of me that really wants to believe that if not all, then most human beings mean well and are good people deep down inside.

this is what i want to believe. but there's a lot of things i want to believe... stuff like playing the lottery is a safe investment for my future.

i've worked in or around customer service for damn near 14 years now. and the unfortunate downside to customer service is that you are forced to deal with the ugly side of people again and again and again. not a day goes by that some customer doesn't try to ruin my or a coworker's day. 14 years of seeing this first hand... it's hard not to be discouraged when it comes to seeing the best in people.

all the customer service employees of the world would be hard pressed to disagree with me. and what's even more discouraging is to talk to people who work in customer service, and hear them tell stories about their experiences with customer service somewhere else outside the job. it's a total bummer to know that people who make a living out of being other people's verbal punching bags can turn around and verbally beat the shit out of the next customer service employee they have to deal with. you'd think customer service employees would be nicer about this sorta thing since it's what they do for a living. but i tell you firsthand that there's a fair amount of people who work in customer service that got no respect for other people that work in customer service.

and i get it... customer service is the face and voice of the companies that fuck people over. someone's gotta hear it, right? but we're not evangelists. call centers, retail stores, restaurants... these aren't fields of dreams. people aren't here chasing their passions. you'd think in the rat race of a world we live in today that people would understand that and be just a little bit more compassionate. yea, sorry the company that pays me fucked you over... but i didn't do it personally.... i'll try and fix it but you don't gotta be an ass about it. i'm a person just like you....

customer service is proof that the golden rule is dead. i wonder if it ever lived to begin with or if it's some trumped up myth that never existed.

beyond customer service, i do stand up comedy. and that's another venue to watch the awfulness of people. i've been yelled at, ignored, berated, and threatened by people who are in the audience. sure comedy can be a touchy thing, but it's just comedy. it's just a dude (or dudette) trying to be funny. and maybe sometimes they're falling short of being funny... but they're trying. shit takes courage. stand ups for whatever fucked up reason need an audience's acceptance. here we are, throwing ourselves out there in front of you trying to be funny..... even if it's bad comedy, isn't it still somewhat commendable that people even try to make you laugh? existence can be pretty shitty sometimes. here we are going out of our way for who knows what reason to try and make a little bit of your day a little better with laughter. give us a break up there.

so many nights end with me saying, 'fuck that person.' it's like any time i grab a mic, i'm guaranteed to add one more person to my 'i don't like that motherfucker' list.

it's through these experiences that i realize there's a shitload of people that are shitty and they're not even trying to be shitty... it's like their naturals. the world's full of naturally shitty people. i wanna like you humanity.... but sometimes i get the feeling that you don't wanna be liked.