making money without really trying

i wanna be able to bullshit everyone and say that i never think of easy money. that i've always been and always will be about earning shit the hard way. i do think that is the way things should be, but i'll be damned if i don't have pipe dreams myself about sudden fortunes without much sacrifice.

and i've google'd it. and i'm not alone. there's countless websites dedicated to get rich quick schemes with promo lines like, 'do you want to make a ton of money with little to no effort? find out more now!'

and get rich quick schemes precede the internet. i'm sure as long as there's been currency, there's been a get rich quick scheme.

but the only get rich scheme i can think of is to start your own get rich quick scheme. tell people to give you money so you can educate them on how to make money quickly. sure, you don't teach them shit, but the lesson's practically in the transaction when said sucker gives you their loot.

but you have to be a douche bag to start one. you have to willingly lie and rip people off on a regular basis in order to be successful. and that goes against my whole anti-douche bag protocol.

but goddamn if the idea of getting rich quickly isn't an insanely popular concept. look at the lottery. they gotta rake in millions to award millions. that's millions (possibly billions) of people with a dollar and a dream out there.

i'd dare to say making money without really trying is one of the most popular topics our brains devote time to. it's gotta be up there with sex and death (not that death is enjoyable to think about, but we're all thinking about it so that makes it popular).

cuz life is a bitch sometimes... for some, all of the time. what wouldn't be easier with more money? i'm not a total soulless materialist, but i can admit that having more money would probably make my life a lot more enjoyable to live. and that's what it's really all about.... it's wanting a shortcut to a more enjoyable and therefore happier life.

it's the warp zone in super mario bros. and the cheat code in contra. if you played these games, you knew about it and you took advantage of it. you'd only not use these shortcuts if you were bored of them. but that's a video game you get to play over and over and over and over. life's a one time thing. we'd hop in the green tube that takes us closer to level 8, the princess, and hopefully sex and riches in an instant.