i don't hate dentists anymore

i used to hate dentists. it was irrational of me but it was there in my mind and i didn't want anything to do with trying to rectify that hate. i just wanted to let that little irrational monster live on in my head.

and i felt i had my reasons. the biggest reason being that at the age of 17 i went to a dentist and for some reason the novacane wouldn't work. i'd tell my dentist i wasn't numb and he'd inject more... i still wouldn't get numb so he'd inject more. eventually it got ridiculous and the dentist said we were gonna have to get to business with the filling.

and all i remember is pain. lots of pain.

and before that experience, before it bloomed into full blown hatred, i already sorta didn't like dentists. before that day, i considered them a necessary evil that made me angry. i'd here stats like, 'dentists have the highest suicide rate of all occupations,' (no idea if this was true, it was just people talking so who knows for sure) and it would make perfect sense to me. why wouldn't dentists hate themselves? i don't like them. other people don't like them. and i didn't see anything to like about them.

so fast forward the clock some 14 years. 14 years of my life that saw some consistent boozing, junk food consuming, and for 9 of those years, cigarette smoking. i didn't make one trip to the dentist. i just couldn't do it. for a lot of those years i didn't worry. i figured brushing and flossing would see me through.

somewhere around age 28 (i'm 31 now) things started to hurt, especially my wisdom teeth. but for 3 years i played it off like it was no big deal. i'd lie to myself and say that eventually my wisdom teeth would settle in and the pain would disappear.

and then all of the sudden it was 2011. i was watching tv and a 1-800-DENTIST commercial comes on tv. they showed a person who was scared to go to the dentist and a calm, supportive friend talking them into calling that number, i didn't call that number the next day. but that's the moment the seed got planted.

i saw that commercial and i started to feel ridiculous about how long i avoided dental treatment. i felt awful about it and that lead to me feeling self conscious about my mouth. then i found myself in social situations where i would try to be slick and come up with ways that i could talk to people without letting them have direct eye contact with my teeth... and i was suddenly obsessed with other people's teeth. (sounds weird, i know). i was sizing myself up against everyone else's mouth and it turned out just about everyone i knew had better looking teeth than me. i couldn't take it anymore. i went to the 1-800-DENTIST website, filled out a form and next thing i knew, i had an appointment with a local dentist emailed to me.

and that was it. too late to go back now. josh wells can't make an appointment and back out like some coward. i convinced myself that i had to go, that this was for the greater good. what's the big deal anyways? all i have to do is show up and sit in a chair. this is going to be easy.

and it was. i found a great dentist. she and her whole staff were super friendly. and the novacane worked. i had so much work done to my mouth in a matter of months. and through it all i never felt much pain. i'd leave the office with a numb jaw for hours, but no pain. the most pain i ever felt was during a cleaning cuz they really get to poking at your gums. but even that wasn't really painful, it was just the most painful part of the whole experience that i remember.

and now my whole view on dentistry has changed. i think it's a highly noble profession. i personally wouldn't wanna do it. i couldn't have my hands in other people's mouths for the rest of my life. but some people can and they do. and the dentist i had did it all with a smile and patience. i think about all the days i show up to my job with a bad attitude and i let it affect me. and here was my dentist who deals with people like me who walk in here saying, 'i can't stand dentists!' and she handles it all with a smile. all she wants to do is improve your oral health.

also, the technology in dentistry is amazing. i can't imagine what going to the dentist was like 30 years ago, 75 years ago, shit the 1800's! so many people probably went through some REAL fucking pain that is all avoided today. if there was ever a time to go to a dentist, it's in 2011. if you think the world sucks, look at the world of dentistry. it's never been better.

dentists, i gave you a bad wrap. my bad. not only do i not hate you, but i think you're pretty cool. thanks for the hard work and i'll be seeing you every 6 months from now on.