That One Time I Sorta Didn't Tip

So recently LeSean McCoy, running back for the Philadelphia Eagles, left a 20 cent tip at a restaurant and that restaurant in turn posted the receipt on facebook and it, of course, went viral. And while I always condemn no/shitty tipping, this whole thing reminded me of the one time I broke my own code and left a dude a 5 cent tip.

That's right, 5 cents. A nickel. I tipped a dude a nickel. It was at Johnny Rocket's (years ago). When you go to Johnny Rocket's, the server gives you a nickel to put in the jukebox. Free song on the house. And that's the exact amount I tipped him. Cold blooded, I know.

I went with a few friends. It was in that strange era of young adulthood where only one friend is allowed to have a job at a time so he/she ends up paying for everyone else whenever they wanna do something. I was said dude with the job and I wanted some Johnny Rocket's. To this day, I still love me some Johnny Rocket's. Just the mere mention of going there pumps me up. What's not to like? 50's/60's rock music, dancing staff, burgers, fries, shakes, cherry soda, and maybe most importantly, the apple pie... the perfect finisher.

On this particular occasion, things were going well. We didn't have a bad waiter. We got what we ordered in a timely fashion. There were no mistakes. Everyone enjoyed their meal. Once the main course was over, it was time for apple pie. This was a certainty in my head. I knew that's how this whole thing was gonna end. When I went to order the apple pie, our waiter told us it was too late and they couldn't serve us apple pie. Apparently the apple pie station was closed and opening it back up for business was not an option.

I was pissed! But I was Josh pissed. I didn't yell or shout. I think I just gave a quick, "aww, c'mon man!" which got me nothing. He left us our check. I paid it, went back to the table and left a nickel on the table. I was making a point and I was scared. When I dropped the nickel on the table, I turned to my friends and said, "let's go! let's go! let's go!" I sped walked out of there, not wanting to have an encounter with our waiter after he realized I only left him a nickel because I am a total coward.

I got out of there with no ruckus. But I'm not proud of that moment. I wish I had thought it over a bit more. I'm sure our waiter was just following protocol handed down to him from some other guy who probably had a key for Apple Pie Town but didn't wanna use it. If I saw that waiter today (and if I remembered anything about him, like his name or what he looked like), I'd probably give him $20 and write the words, "sorry for being a douche," on it (in fact I'd have those words coming out of Andrew Jackson's mouth because then it'd have double the meaning because Andrew Jackson was sorta a douchebag. Don't believe me, google it! He did way worse things than leave nickel tips, although a nickel was probably something in his time).

Anyways, point is, I think you should always leave a tip, even if the service sorta sucked or you're not getting that apple pie you were banking on. Yes, I realize what a hypocrite I am. I did wrong and I'm sorry. My saving grace is that social networking was in its infancy at the time so there was no way for this dude to publicly shame me online, even if I pretty much deserved it. Current day me now tips 15% for bad service. That's right, even if they suck, I still throw something down for their effort or time. Waiting tables is tough business. Don't be a douche. Do the right thing, and leave a tip.