an underground music paradox

i have a tendency to enjoy bands that have smaller followings and play smaller venues, the bands that not everyone knows about. they're usually a little bit underground, but not too underground that they can't get their gigs on to ticketmaster.com. it's always sorta been this way and sometimes i can't help but wonder if it's the music that draws me to them or is it my personality that draws me to lesser known acts?

i'm pretty passionate about the music i listen to. when i discover a band, i get all into their complete library and drown myself in their material. i feel pretty secure in saying that i don't force myself to like certain bands for any reason other than it sounds good to my ears. and i'm sure a certain part of it has to do with me discovering new bands through the bands i already like, whether it's because they tour together, share a label, or pandora tells me they're similar. it's no stretch to figure that any band i learn about through this method would be on a similar level of fame as the band that drew me to them in the first place.

but sometimes i wonder if the roles were reversed and it was the bands that were on the radio that tour the nation via sports arenas switching places with the bands i love to go see live, would my tastes change? am i more prone to enjoy a band because i can see them at a venue like irving plaza in nyc where it's small enough for me to feel like i'm really in the same room with the band? when it comes to checking out live music in arenas (or stadiums), i can't help but feel separated from the band on stage. it feels more like a televised event than a live experience. the prices are usually more outrageous as well. i'll always feel closer to a band when they're able to offer me the opportunity to see them live at a reasonable price.

i like to think if bands like nickelback and mumford and sons toured smaller venues, i'd still have no interest in seeing them and my opinion of their music wouldn't change. but if a band like rancid forced me to see them in an arena for $60, would i still go? i'm not certain i would. i like to think i'd still like rancid, but it probably wouldn't be the same because i wouldn't have intimate live experiences to back up my passion for them.

so i suppose bands that aren't as famous and have to resort to smaller venues have an advantage in getting me to be a fan of theirs. i won't see just any band because it's affordable and intimate, but i'm also way less likely to invest in seeing a band live in a large, expensive setting. and there's a part of me that feels selfish for that. i'm glad a lot of my favorite bands aren't famous enough to sell out arenas. i'm glad not everyone is into them. i'm glad most of the bands i enjoy don't get airtime on the radio. it's because of these factors that i'm able to see my favorite bands in smaller, awesome venues. but i'm sure that's not so comforting for the bands in question. i'm sure most bands would like to get a taste of that worldwide, arena tour money. and if they were able to make the leap to that level, i'd be less likely to see them but that'd be more than okay for them. someone would take my place and they'd find themselves making a lot more profit.

i'm well beyond the age to accuse bands of "selling out." in the end, we all gotta make a living. if the chance comes that you can make more money doing something you love, why not make it happen? i'm more of a "sell out" than any band. i go to a job where i don't do what i love for a living. who am i to judge what a band does or how successful they're allowed to be?

and yet, knowing all this, i still can't help but wonder that if the whole music universe did a giant flip flop, would i still be a fan of the bands i'm a fan of now? i don't think i'll ever know for certain. i just gotta keep bopping my head to the music and hoping that the experience is completely honest, devoid of any other factor besides how much pleasure the music brings to my ears.