right band, right time

i had once been told that i got into the band, against me!, ten years too late. true, i only became a fan after the album, 'white crosses.' by then they had found their core audience, made some epic albums, toured the world, and made some dynamic changes in their sound. this would definitely be a band that i wouldn't get in on the ground floor on. i'm not sure why or how i never found my way to this band until i did, but in many ways i'm glad i showed up late to the 'against me!' party.

i had seen against me! some years back at terminal 5 in new york city. i went without knowing anything of this band. all i knew was that my friend matt thought they were fucking awesome. i had a good time and the seed was possibly planted that night. but even with them right there in my face, i didn't instantly become the vociferous fan i am today. i don't think i even went home and youtube'd them. a part of me felt out of place that night. it's always tough to wanna sing along but you can't because you don't know any of the words.

around age 28, i was starting to become set in my lazy ways. i'm not a fan of classifications but if i could be nailed into one grouping at age 28, it'd be couch potato, pure and simple. everything about my life was rotated around a tv watching schedule. i also drank... a lot. i don't know if i was officially depressed but i felt sad a lot and i was definitely stagnant and in no hurry to try and do anything about it. i think the constant head buzzes kept me distracted from my sad life.

and then one day i got up and ran. i think i saw my exceeding beer gut as a sign of trouble ahead. i was lazily stumbling into a lifestyle and a future i had no interest in. so i found the best running gear i had available and tried my best to run around a lake at a park by my place. it was pitiful. i couldn't even make it all the way around without stopping four or five times. but i did it. i made it around once and i vowed to go back.

and i kept going back. some weeks i'd hit the park 2-3 times.... but as time went on, i found myself upping it to 4-5, sometimes 6 times a week. and i needed music. music kept me going. it was during this time that i downloaded against me's complete discography (i downloaded it for free, sorry AM!, i owe you guys and constantly buy tickets and merch at any/all of your shows), and started listening to against me! on my runs. and it worked. it was the right sound that kept me going. it made me wanna run. i enjoyed the albums so much, i just wanted to get out and dig into them more. soon running became my favorite way to take in music. there was nothing else to concentrate on except myself and the sound. it was (and still is) beautiful.

years have passed. i've grown to love a certain amount of bands and definitely have a specific attachment between certain bands and running (in particular: atmosphere, the bronx, h2o, rancid, opivy, bouncing souls, and minor threat). but none of these bands have ever hit home quite like against me! does. they're the soundtrack of my revival. i feel like a different and more awesome person today. running had a lot to do with that. the music i started listening to also plays a major part.

my attitude on a lot of different things in life has changed dramatically. i'm more aware of what i want out of life and i'm more actively chasing dreams and trying to accomplish goals. i read and write more. i watch way less tv. i drink less. i eat better. i feel better. i fucking care. that may be the biggest difference. at age 28, i had hit my peak level of not giving a fuck, to a point where i was starting to not give a fuck about myself or my life. but now i do give a fuck. a part of me was awakened and i'm so much more alive because of it. when the alarm went off, i'm pretty sure it was against me!'s, 'walking is still honest,' that finally forced me out of my dismal cocoon.

i'm going to see against me! live the next two nights of my life. to say i'm stoked is an understatement.