the voices in my head

sometimes the people around me just won't do the trick. sometimes i'll find myself in certain moods and the actual people around me... friends, family, acquaintances, strangers.... i'm beyond their assistance. anything they might say won't help me. i have to go away from the world around me. i have to seek advice, guidance, and companionship from somewhere else. it's at those times that i plug the earphones connected to my ipod into my ears and begin to search.

it's weird cuz music isn't listening to me. there's no chance that any song or album will really know what i'm going through. it's about as selfish a transaction as there can be. the song does its thing, communicates to me with no compromise and i in return just shut the fuck up and listen. and i think this is where music comes in handy for me. i have no say in this conversation. i'm forced to give in and listen and take it in and offer no feedback whatsoever.

outside of music, there's not one actual conversation in real life where i'm not eventually looking for my turn to talk. i have a flaw in the humility department. it's not that i think i'm better than anyone... but in real life i can only suffer another person's words towards me till i want to get my say in. at length, most conversations turn into contests. am i getting my point across? are you listening to me when i speak? maybe it's selfish or maybe this is how everyone operates. i have no idea. all i know is with music, this isn't an option.

and it's music. the meshing of instruments and singing or rapping or screaming is much more powerful than words standing naked on their own (personal opinion, to each their own on this one). there's something the right song at the right time can do that nothing else in existence can do. it's too powerful to be messed with. i'm in no position to fight it. i'm lost in the music and taken to a better place. and hopefully when the music's over, i find myself still in that better place, refreshed and ready to take on the world again.