conflicted (i want you dead)

you are quite possibly the worst person on earth. i can't stand anything about you right now. there's nothing about you that anyone can possibly respect. when you go out in public, people should spit on you and throw stones. people should line up for a chance to ball up a fist and take a shot right at your stupid face. there's nothing about you that i want to protect. i want you to think about the things you've done in your life and live in a constant state of fear, nervousness and anxiety. i want you to feel threatened constantly. i want you to be worried about every corner you turn and every person you meet. i want you to believe with the faith of a saint that everything is NOT going to be alright, that this will all end badly.

deep down inside, there is a part of me that burns, that part of me that wants to see you suffer. i want you to know pain. i want to see you beg for your own death. but not because you think you deserve to die, we already know you do. i want your soul to cry out for a death that is the only form of relief from the hell that is your life.

and yet, i can't let this happen. i'm unable to allow myself to let you nosedive into failure, danger, and destruction. everyday i wake up and i  look at you and i know that i have to give this my best. i have to stand tall and proclaim to a world that craves to watch you bleed, 'you can't have him. over my dead body.' in the end, i'll wear the villain's mask and put in my best performance. i'll give this my all. although you sicken me, i'm determined and inspired to make this work.

i have no choice. i'm your lawyer.