it's not me, it's you

something i've always wanted to say to somebody.... out loud.

out loud would be the abnormal part... i say this shit to myself constantly. i'm always biting my lip, never ready to let someone know how i really feel cuz there's a part of me that doesn't wanna offend them or anger them or even worse, end up rejected by them (like if it's a friend, girlfriend, coworker, family member, etc). i'm always willing to swallow a bit of my own pride if that means the bridge stays in tact.

and all i have to show for it is a bunch of in tact bridges... big deal. boring. anytime i have to hide what i really feel, think, or want to say, then most likely it's a bridge that leads me to a destination that i'm no longer interested in having access to anyways. if i have no interest in what lies on the other end of that bridge, then i should have no qualms or issues with blowing that shit up.

we're all bridges to each other. two people are responsible for the upkeep of bridges. the second someone says or does something that offends my own sense of morality and/or decency is the same second i should stop caring about the bridge we share together. fuck that bridge.

anytime i've ever put myself into an, 'it's not you, it's me,' situation was most likely due to my fear to offend. it probably was you. but much like almost everyone else in the world, i'm usually quick to let others slide so i can avoid a confrontation and never ask people to stand up to certain standards.

the next time i find myself in a crowded room and someone says something racist, or homophobic, or anything douchy, i hope this time i say something. cuz seriously, it's not me, it is you.

in the past, it was me.... but that's only because i was wrong.... i was wrong to bite my tongue and not let people know how i really feel and let them love me or hate me for who i am.... i've been wrong anytime i've compromised my  ideals for acceptance. that was me.

but from now on, i hope i got what it takes to do the right thing and let someone know:

'it's not me, it's you.'