snow day at the lake

i woke up to a text message from my dentist that said, "all appointments have been canceled today due to weather." i was slightly relieved because that meant i could sleep a few more hours.... but also sorta bummed out cuz i put a limitation on what i could do the night before cuz i wanted to wake up early to make the appointment. that and i'm gonna have to reschedule and go again anyways. when it comes to things like dentist appointments, i'd prefer to be done with it as soon as possible.

but i took advantage of the free time i was just given back and went back to sleep... one of my final thoughts being that if the dentist could take off for snow, i could take a day off from running today.

and then i woke up. i was on the fence about going out for a run. things like snow and rain are great cuz they make for good excuses not to run and it leaves me not feeling bad about it. if it's not bad weather, then i only have my own laziness to blame. so a part of me wanted to take advantage of this built in, guilt free excuse.

and then i gut checked myself. i don't have a coach but i imagined what a coach would say if i did have one. he/she would probably say something along the lines of, 'you better go out there and run you lazy fuck!' i guess that's how i would sound if i was a coach. i'm not sure if that's a fine example of good coaching, but it was the kick in the ass i needed. i changed into my running gear, grabbed the ipod, and hit the road.

and i was grateful i did. i hit the park not far from my house. they had done a semi-decent job of clearing the path around the lake. it was good enough to run, i just had to be a little more careful than usual.

i read in a book recently that if you don't feel like running, what you should do is push yourself to go outside and take a quick run around the block. once you get your body in motion, you'll usually want to keep at it for a little longer. and that's how i totally felt today. at first i kept thinking how much it sucked. but after a little distance and a couple 'against me!' songs i found myself embracing it.

i looked around and there was hardly anyone else around me. the lake is usually packed with people... even when it's cold there's usually a fair amount of people out and about. and while i don't mind other people, a big part of my own personal joy in running is the alone factor. it's just me, by myself... don't gotta worry about anyone else. for that time while i'm running, it's all about josh. and whenever there's a bunch of other people around, it kinda fucks that part of it up for me.

also the lake looked awesome. the water was half frozen over. there were ducks and geese chilling on the ice. everything was covered in snow and the sky was gray. there was a peaceful quality to it all.

i also felt awesome that i was toughing it out. i'm no tough guy... but i didn't see anyone else running around in the park. and it made me feel like i conquered something. my 5th and last lap felt like a victory lap. i was showing off for the audience of myself.

and while i appreciate my dentist for all the hard work she does (putting your hands in other people's dirty mouths for a living is way fucking commendable), for this day i felt like i bested her. i didn't use the snow as an excuse to not show up.

(please note: if you're my dentist, no hard feelings, eh? i'm not mad about it. in fact you inadvertently inspired me to do something healthy, so thanks! i'm gonna go brush extra now just in case you are reading.)