what the fuck's the big deal about, 'stairway to heaven'

okay, i get it... it's an epic song... it has ups and downs... slow parts, fast parts... and all that jazz. it just so happens to be created by led zeppelin, a band that tons of people think are the greatest thing to ever happen to human beings.

and i'll give led zep their due.... they're a fucking awesome band. they own this epic spot in rock history that's almost christ like in the sense that you can divide rock's history into 'before zeppelin,' and, 'after zeppelin,' and it would make total fucking sense. you can see rock take this great big change at around that same time.

i get all this and yet i just don't think, 'stairway' is THE song. i don't think it's their best song... i don't even keep it in my top 5 list of zep tunes. most times when that song comes on the radio, i mess around with the tuner to see if i can find something better. 'stairway' inspires me to be daring and go look for an upgrade on another station.

now i know i date myself with all this talk of radio, but you all know what the radio is and i to a certain extent still listen to it... mostly around the house... i like the idea of someone else playing music for me... it takes the thinking out of it. i don't need to use my decision making skills to pick a next song, someone else does that and then i either approve or disapprove. disapproval sends me on a mission to find something better... and sometimes i don't find anything better and i have to go back to 'stairway' and settle... but sometimes when i'm home doing stuff, that's a lot better than having to think about what i wanna choose next.

anyways... the reason i talk to such extent of radio is cuz i blame radio for 'stairway' being the popular song it is. there's no such thing as a top 100 or 500 countdown of all time rock songs without 'stairway' taking one of the top 3 spots (most times the #1 spot). and yet i find most top 100 or 500 countdowns to be total anarchy. i don't even think all that much thought is put into it. they make sure they get the top 20 somewhere near correct and respectable, but other than that i think it's mostly people looking through record collections saying, 'yea this song here, this is a good one, play that in spot #147.'

i think 'stairway' always makes it so high on the list cuz the song is like a best friend to radio dj's. it's looooong. so while this song is on, you can use the bathroom. if you're a dj in sudden need of a bathroom break, fuck it... put on some 'stairway.' gives you enough time to get your business accomplished and when you come back everyone's telling you, 'fuckin a man! thanks for gettin the led out!!' you're a hero and all you did was try and find an 8 minute ballad to cover you while you poop.

dj's don't forget this sorta thing... this is their secret weapon. all the rock dj's of history owe a debt of gratitude to 'stairway.' as a result, they give it a lot more love than it probably deserves... ask a dj who's been in a tight bathroom related predicament what their favorite song is, it'd make all the sense in the world for them to say, 'stairway.' it's the only song that does them any favors, the only song that gives anything back to the dj. it's a gift from led zep to radio dj's.... a gift that just keeps on giving...

so here we are 30 something years after the fact... over 3 decades of radio dj's all around the world giving 'stairway' it's more than abundant share of spins and praise. we eat that shit up cuz if you repeat anything enough, it gets more popular and we start to like it more (even if you personally disagree with that statement, you're on the outside looking in. think about the 5-10 songs you hear on radio over and over and over and look around you and see what everyone is listening to. everyone but you is listening to those same 5-10 songs that the radio repeats over and over... it's a very slight form of brainwashing... so if you don't agree with the statement i just made, congrats, you're not mildly brainwashed... all at the cost of being an outsider who everyone calls an elitist douche when you're not around).

you've been told, convinced, and damn near forced to agree that 'stairway to heaven' is the greatest song of all time. don't feel too bad about it though. at least it's not a meatloaf song.

(the author would like to note at this time that no science, research, or actual knowledge of the radio industry was used in the creation of this blog. but if you came to my blog looking for that sorta thing, i'm pretty sure i lost your attention a long time ago anyways.)