Happy birthday Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan does everything on his own terms and that's what's so cool about him. I don't think Dylan is living his life right if he hasn't upset you at some point. For instance, I love a lot of his earlier stuff. I love, 'Highway 61 Revisited,' so much, I got a tattoo. But I'm not much of a fan of his recent crooning and I've seen him in concert twice and both times it was kinda a snooze fest. But that's Dylan, the man who went electric and pissed off all the old folkies in the 60's. No one owns Dylan and he'll just keep on doing what he damn well pleases and even if you don't enjoy him, you should at least be inspired to live life on those terms.

North Bergen Mayoral Election

tomorrow the town I live in, North Bergen, NJ, will have its mayoral election. For the past few months my neighborhood has been plastered with unflattering election signs and posters and I've been ignoring the doorbell ringing and door knocking of political zealots who wanna sell me their candidate-messiah. My mailbox has been overflowing with junk mail gossip produced by the two candidates trash talking one another which I'm sure they both think is worthy of the trees sacrificed to print them. And there's no escape on my social media either because I'm dumb enough to like pages that have anything to do with this town. Tomorrow I will vote in the mayoral election because I think it's important to participate in gov't elections on all levels in America. But I'll be really glad when it's all over. Neither candidate has been heavy on substance. Mostly just a whole lot of shit taking. Not one debate. I think a couple of 6 year old's could've provided us a better showing of democracy. But it is what it is and it probably only feels important because I live here. I know whenever I drive through any other town and see their dumb mayoral window/yard signs everywhere, I think to myself, 'Who cares about these 2 nobodies outside of this dumb town anyways?'

chemtrail guy

I thought my biggest pet peeve about convenience stores was when I got stuck behind some lottery jerk who thinks Quick Check is their personal Atlantic City. But today I got stuck behind a dude who spent an extra 2 minutes after his transaction explaining to the cashier that the change in weather is due to chemtrails. The poor cashier was too nice to move him along. I'm a passive dude so I did nothing.

So anyways, I'm woke now and onto the gov't who obviously wanted today to be 5 degreess cooler than yesterday because that's how you control people, I guess? We now live in an age where changes in weather patterns are huge gov't conspiracies. We're doomed and time is limited. So please, keep it moving chemtrail guy and let me pay for my coffee.

Adam Sandler and why SNL is special

watching Adam Sandler host SNL reminded me of why I love watching SNL so much. Despite being fired and saying in interviews he'd never host, he ended up doing it eventually and telling the world how much SNL meant to him and doing something special.

SNL is always gonna be special to its cast members. Even when SNL is bad, it's still sorta special. It's still a collection of heavy hitting funny people giving their heart to a shared thing. We're constantly watching a cast that will end up representing comedy for the next 20-30 years blossom right in front of us. Sometimes they're trying things and failing, but a lot of times it's working and funny and you're too busy comparing it to 1977 to just sit back and enjoy.

Rest in power Peter Mayhew

This is a sad loss not only for the Star Wars community, but for the tall community as well. Being Chewbacca is probably as famous as a tall person can get without being really good at basketball. Chewbacca is the best Star Wars character and it's kinda cool knowing this dude was able to quit his job and make an honest living out of being Chewbacca.

Chewbacca forever. What a wookie.

Port Authority

Over the weekend me and Dani were in Port Authority and she was talking about how much Port Authority sucks and how she always tries to avoid it and I started thinking about how I hear a lot of people trash it and I wanted to play the contrarion and defend what I think is an important transportation hub for getting around NYC and beyond. Just as I was about to speak in this terminal's defense, I looked up to see a man peeing on the floor. He was in plain sight of everyone, not even trying to hide. I knew before the words ever had a chance to leave my mouth that my argument was defeated.

Two Boneheads

BACK IN THE DAY:

About age 16, I was going through this weird pseudo-intellectual phase where I'd do things like quote Nietzsche or make fun of religion. Y'know, super edgy and condescending. Me and my friends used to hang with this older dude Bill from time to time and Bill used to read a ton of philosophy books and I thought he was super cool because of it.

So anyways, there was this one time at White Castle (because that's where super deep, philosophical people go to eat), we were sitting down, eating some sliders and talking about Sartre or Descartes or post modernism or something. Super cool stuff. Then these two boneheads sat down at the table next to us. They were ratty looking relics from the age of glam rock. They seemed highly intoxicated and started naming hair metal bands from the 80's. They went back and forth, taking turns, laughing and whoa-ing and wow-ing after every band they mentioned. We thought we were so much better than them. Bill looked at them with disdain and me and my friends followed suit. I wanted to look cool in front of my philisophy crew but deep down inside I also knew that neither bonehead mentioned Skid Row yet and I'd be a fucking hero if I said it out loud.

Instead, I said nothing. But I look back on that day as a real turning point. I don't know what happened to the two boneheads but I bet they left White Castle and had more fun than we did. We talked philosophy but those dudes lived it. They didn't need to know about nihilism to know that we only got one life to live so you might as well live it well. You might as well pal around in a denim vest and live loud. They were living in the moment while we discussed Schopenhauer. What a bummer we were.

That was a long time ago. I don't know what happened to Bill and I don't know what happened to the two boneheads, but I hope they're still out there, way over the hill, going to see cover bands, drinking cheap beer, and naming all the bands they know on a podcast somewhere. That'd add much more value to the world than anything written by Hegel.

(some of the names in this story have been changed to protect identities)